Kerry's plans started to come together the day after Thanksgiving when she overheard Haleh talking to Chuny about the snowball fight she had engaged in with John the day before and then hinting that maybe they were more than friends. Chuny laughingly denied that, but, it clicked in Kerry's head. If they were already friends, then it would be easy enough for her to manipulate them into a romance.
The thought of John in the arms of another woman, kissing her and loving her, made Kerry feel ill. But, she was determined to set John free. And yet, a little voice kept telling her that she wasn't being fair to John or herself. John loved her, he told her so, and not just when they were in bed. How could she throw that away?
It wasn't easy. She acknowledged that much. Not easy at all. But, it had to be done. John deserved to be with a woman his own age or younger. Someone with plenty of childbearing years in her future. Not someone her age. Holding onto him just because she enjoyed his company, relished his lovemaking and loved him passionately, well, those weren't good enough reasons to ruin his life. She had no right to take advantage of his sweetness. If she didn't push him away, then he would never leave, she knew that much from watching him over the years.
So she would push him right into the arms of Chuny Marquez.
It was too easy, she thought afterward. Far too easy. Kerry had bought season tickets for the opera and she and John had made plans to go that Friday night. What John didn't know was that Romano had invited all of the Department Heads to his house for dinner. A gloating feast most likely. So, on Thursday, Kerry told him that she had a business dinner to attend. One she couldn't afford to miss. He shrugged, telling her that it was all right with him and that he didn't care about not going to the opera. That was when she told him that he had to go because she had given her ticket to Chuny with the promise that John would escort her. John tried to protest, and Kerry finally resorted to the time honored tactic of giving him a guilt-trip. Once he capitulated to her demands, she took pity on him and loved him for a long time that night. It was bittersweet to her for she knew that there could not be many more nights like that.
Friday found the two of them dressing up to go out. He to pick up Chuny for the opera and Kerry doomed to an evening at Romano's. Not that her evening would be boring. Knowing Robert, it would be anything but. The question was just how much blood would be drawn and who the unwilling donor was going to be. Going to the opera with a man who looked downright delicious in a tuxedo was far more appealing, but those days were over for her. She kissed him goodbye as he rushed out the door, ashamed of herself for being near tears as she watched him drive away. She pulled herself together, telling herself to quick acting like a fool. Then she left, determined to not think about John that evening.
It was nearly one in the morning when she finally returned home. She had scheduled herself to be in at work at seven, and had wanted to get a decent night's sleep. She wasn't the type of manager who could remove herself totally from the job -- Mark and Gabe deserved some time off. Tomorrow would be Mark's day. And John's. He also had the day off. Which, as she realized his Jeep wasn't parked out front, was probably a good thing for her plans.
Getting away from Robert Romano had not been easy. He had kept her there until the last of the guests had departed under the pretense of needing to talk to her about her department. Then, once everyone was gone, she found that all he wanted to talk about was what she thought was going on between Mark Greene and Elizabeth Corday. What a scumbag, Kerry thought as she let herself inside the house. She looked for a note from John, thinking that maybe he had come home earlier, then decided to go back out. By her estimate, the opera would have been over by eleven. There wasn't a note, nor was there a message on her machine. What if he had gone over to Chuny's place? What if he was still there? Well, she chided herself, what if he did? It's what you want, isn't it?
She was getting ready for bed when she heard the sound of someone coming into the house and then footsteps on the stairs. John had already taken off his tie and cumberband and his jacket was draped over his arm. Wherever he had been, he had obviously been comfortable.
He smiled when he entered the room and saw her. "I thought you would have been asleep by now."
"I just got home. How was the opera?"
He shrugged as sat down to take off his shoes. "The music was nice, but I didn't care for the plot. Chuny and I were starving by the time it was over, so we went out for a bite to eat."
"Was that all you went out for?" she couldn't keep from asking. Great going, kiddo, she told herself. Set him up with another woman and then act jealous when your plan succeeds.
He grinned, then stood and reached for her, pulling her close against his chest. "Are you jealous?"
She shook her head. "Of course not. I just didn't think a bite to eat would take such a long time."
"We ended up talking. You know, I'm glad that you just got home." He lowered his head to hers and kissed her, his hands darting under her pajama top and skimming up her sides to rest just under her breasts. She could feel his erection against her body and wanted nothing more than to make love with him. But, having sex with him now was not the way to go about fixing his date with Chuny firmly in his mind.
Kerry pulled away from him. "I'm really tired, John, and I have to be to work early."
"That's never stopped us before," he said, reaching out once more for her.
"Well, it's stopping me now. I can't be in the mood twenty-four hours a day."
He looked hurt by that remark, but he backed off. "I wasn't asking you to be. We don't have to make love tonight, Kerry. It's enough for me to hold you while we sleep."
"My leg is killing me and I'll be tossing and turning all night. I don't want to keep you from getting any rest. It would be best if you slept in your own bed tonight." She turned away from him and turned down the covers on the bed. She didn't want to see the hurt in his eyes as she rejected his company.
"I have tomorrow off, remember?" His voice sounded hopeful. "I don't have to worry about not getting any rest. Let me get out of this tux and I'll be right to bed."
He left before she could insist that he stay down in his room. She climbed into bed and pulled the covers up around her neck, hating herself for hurting him. Feeling angry for hurting herself as well.
By the time he returned to the bedroom, she was already under the covers with her eyes closed. He knew she had to be tired, especially since she had to deal with Romano all evening. He turned off the light and slipped under the covers, willing his body to relax for a few moments before moving over to snuggle with Kerry. Before he could move, she was there at his side, snuggling next to him. He smiled and softly kissed the top of her head as he held her close.
He stared up at the ceiling, wondering what Kerry would say if she knew that he had told Chuny that they were involved. Chuny had been supportive, once her initial surprise had worn off. He smiled as he remembered the way her mouth had dropped open and her eyes had widened when he told her that he and Kerry were lovers. He had reached across the table and gently pushed up on her jaw, closing her mouth and making a lame joke about not letting flies get in. She had recovered quickly and began to question him about everything. Now, there were some details he left out, but he did admit to Chuny that he was in love with Kerry and that he thought she might have feelings for him. Chuny had been very happy for him -- and for Kerry, saying that they both needed someone dependable in their lives. Kerry was certainly dependable. And stable. And so wildly passionate. There were times when he wished that his co-workers could see just how beautiful she looked when she gave into her passions. Then again, he was very glad that the men couldn't see that. The total abandon with which she approached their lovemaking was reserved for him and him alone, and he liked it that way. He drifted off to sleep with those images firmly implanted in his mind.
The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas seemed to rush past. There had been more opera performances that Kerry had to back out of, and each time she gave her ticket to Chuny, making John escort her there. What she didn't know is that John and Chuny usually gave their tickets away to other people and then went to the movies. And people at work began to make comments about how close John and Chuny were getting. Since Chuny knew that John and Kerry were still keeping their relationship a secret, she didn't deny the rumors. She didn't go out of her way to encourage them, but she certainly didn't try to set things right. Besides, she liked her weekly outings with John -- he was always willing to give her his male opinion on things and as a result, she felt that when she was ready to get into a long term relationship that his advice would come in handy. Not that she was really ready for that. Oh, she had her share of dates, but she knew that deep down inside, she was hoping to renew her relationship with Mark. And John understood that. He never told her that she was being foolish for feeling that way, he simply nodded and asked her what she would do if Mark ever did ask her out again.
And so the rumors persisted, growing larger as they made their way around the e.r., until the word was that Chuny and John were on the verge of moving in together. And why not? He was certainly spending enough time at her place. That was the rumor that Kerry had heard at the desk a few days before Christmas. That John and Chuny were one hot item. Then Randi had said that she never understood why someone had ever thought that John and Kerry had been involved. Chuny was certainly more his type. That's when Malik had added in that he didn't think any man would be Kerry's type -- not the Queen Bitch. They had all laughed at that, not knowing that Kerry was just around the corner. She hurried into the nearest exam room, feeling weary as the door closed behind the laughter. She hated Chuny. Just hated her. She was a wonderful person, she had always thought that, but now she found herself hating her; which was stupid since she was the one who had practically thrown John at her. It was getting to the point where she dreaded coming to work- she was so tired of seeing that woman and watching her make goo-goo eyes at John. And hearing about how close they were.
What hurt even more than seeing Chuny make eyes at John was watching the way he smiled at her. The way he joked around with her. Kerry's plan was working and she was losing him to Chuny, she knew it. Despite the rumors, she didn't think they were sleeping together...yet. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block out the image that idea formed in her mind. He couldn't be having sex with her, could he? Nothing had changed at home, at least, not as far as Kerry could tell. Except that he was paying even more attention to her than ever before. Wasn't that one of the signs that your lover was cheating on you? Being overly attentive? He was certainly that. She felt sick to her stomach, so she settled into the closest chair she could find. But, what was the alternative? She had known better than to get involved with him, aside from the risk of heartache from becoming involved with a much younger man, she knew that it was just plain wrong. The ironic thing is that it had been an accusation of impropriety between her and John that lead to their becoming lovers in the first place. And now he was Chief Resident and she was the Chief of the E.R. What would Romano say if he knew? She could easily see the sneer on his face as he demoted her. Her career was in jeopardy. John's career would survive it though. He would lose his position as Chief Resident, but he would continue to work here at County. Would continue to be near Chuny. And if he broke up with her, then Kerry, demoted to being a mere resident, would have to watch their little dance. She shook her head. No way was she going to do that. Even if no one found out about them, she wouldn't be able to stay at County if he took up with another woman. Kerry knew she couldn't handle seeing him day in and day out, especially if that other woman also worked at County. Maybe it was time for her to update her resume. She hadn't added anything to it since the Synergix fiasco. She had felt secure here at County. That security was gone.
Her stomach settled now that she had made a decision and Kerry got to her feet. Putting on her best "Administrator" face, she opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. There was work to be done and she wasn't being paid to sit around in darkened exam rooms feeling sorry for herself.