"Chuny? Got a minute?"
Chuny couldn't miss the twinkle in John's eyes and he looked as if he would burst open if he didn't get a chance to talk to her. "Sure. What's up?"
"Come here." John pulled her into the supply closet and closed the door. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. He opened it to show her the diamond engagement ring it contained.
"You're going to ask her to marry you? Oh, Carter, she'll love this," Chuny said.
"Do you really think so? You don't think it's too much do you?"
"No. Not at all. Most women love diamonds. She does love diamonds, doesn't she?"
"She has a few. I had thought about an emerald, but figured I'd be safe with a diamond."
"When are you going to ask her?"
"Tonight. I think." He nervously ran a hand through his hair. "She's been acting a little odd lately, almost as if she's not sure about us anymore." He rested his back against the door. "I want to ask her tonight. What if she says no? What if she doesn't want to marry me? Chuny, I'm a lot younger than she is. What if she decides I'm not mature enough for her?"
"If she decides that, then Kerry Weaver isn't as smart as I thought she was," Chuny replied.
"Shh. Don't say her name out loud. You're the only person who knows that we're involved with each other. If it gets out, then there will be Hell to pay."
"I haven't told a soul, Carter. I think you should take her out for a romantic dinner, then propose. I've seen the way she looks at you, and I can tell that she loves you. I don't think she'll turn you down."
"She'll say it won't look right."
"Carter, you're getting yourself worked up over something that hasn't happened yet."
"God, I feel sick." He grabbed the ring box from her and shoved it in his pocket, then bolted out the door.
Chuny shook her head, then left the supply closet and returned to what she had been doing before his interruption. She knew that his stomach wouldn't settle down until he had Kerry Weaver's answer.
Lucy Knight's pen tapped furiously against her thigh as she watched Chuny walk down the hallway. She had seen Carter rush out of the supply closet and now Chuny was leaving the same room. What had they been doing in there alone? Dale had been so sure of himself when he had told her that Carter and Weaver were having an affair. Feeling angry over the way that Carter had broken up with Roxanne only to fall into Weaver's bed and not hers, Lucy had quickly followed Dale's suggestion that she tell Anspaugh about the affair. It just wasn't right for Carter to sleep his way into the position of Chief Resident. Not that she had wanted Maggie Doyle to get the position, but she thought that Carter should have earned it because he was a good doctor and not because he was a good lover. And now that he had gotten what he wanted from Weaver, he was now getting it on with Chuny of all people. She hated Chuny even more than she hated Kerry Weaver. She was going to have to do something about this situation. Checking her watch, she saw that it was her break time. If luck was on her side, she would be able to catch up to Dale in the cafeteria. Once she filled him in on what was now happening in the E.R. then he would be able to help her come up with a plan to break up the new couple.
Lucy had kept her voice low as she told Dale what she had seen. By the time she was done, he was shaking his head.
"I always knew he was a bastard, Luce, from the very minute I met him."
"Well, it looks as if you were right. So, what now? Telling Anspaugh that he and Weaver were having an affair didn't work -- Carter's still Chief Resident."
"Nothing we can do about that, Luce. And, nothing we can do about him fucking Chuny Marquez either. Although, I do wonder if Weaver knows that Carter has tossed her aside for a younger woman? Or maybe he's doing them both at the same time, not letting either one know about the other?"
"Bastard," Lucy muttered. "Maybe I could talk with Chuny? Try to find out what she knows about Carter and Weaver?" It was still so vivid in Lucy's mind how irritating Chuny had been when she interrupted Lucy and Carter's impromptu make out session back in the winter. And now she was the one doing things with him.
Dale shook his head. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Let me know what she says, okay?"
"Of course. Well, my break's over."
"Mine, too. Come on."
They got up from their table and walked out of the cafeteria. Neither one of them noticed that Kerry had been sitting behind them.
Kerry was using all of her will power to keep from crying in the middle of the cafeteria. She wanted to curl up into a ball and die. She wanted to rip Chuny's hair out. She wanted to strangle John. She wanted to scream and shout and cry, all at the same time. How could John have been so vile, so cruel as to have sex with Chuny here in the hospital?
She got to her feet and somehow made it back to the lounge. There was no way she could stay at work, no way at all. Luka saw her and immediately asked her if she was all right. Kerry told him she didn't feel well and was going home. But, that didn't seem to satisfy his curiosity. He insisted on driving Kerry home and making sure that she had everything she needed in the medicine cabinet and pantry -- just in case she was coming down with something. Kerry had to bite her lip to keep from screaming when Luka finally proclaimed that Kerry would be all right no matter what she had come down with because she had Carter there to look after her.
After an agonizing eternity, Kerry finally got Luka out the door. She locked the door behind her, listening to Luka start his car and drive away. Then Kerry slumped to the floor, overcome by emotion and too tired to try to hold any of it back any longer.
John leaned his head against the cool porcelain of the toilet tank. He had emptied his stomach, but still found himself retching. He knew that this wasn't good for his body; but every time he thought about what had happened with Kerry, his stomach would do another flip and he would be sick again. He still didn't understand what was going on with her. He knew things had been a little strained lately, but he was putting that down to the pressures of trying to have a relationship that had to be conducted in secrecy. Hell, it was a strain on him, too. Every day he had to fight the urge to pull her aside and kiss her, or just reach out and touch her for a brief moment. But, he couldn't do that. The closest they had come to being risky was the night they slipped away to her car and made love in back seat while on break. And even then, they had barely escaped getting caught by security. He smiled as he remembered that night. Kerry had look so beautiful with her hair in disarray and her skin still flushed from their exertions. The elevator doors for the roof level of the parking garage had just opened when they heard the sound of the security patrol reach the roof. As the doors closed, they had held each other, laughing at the near miss. Then they had done their best to put themselves back together. By the time they returned to the emergency room, no one could tell they had been doing the down and dirty for the past twenty minutes.
God, how he loved her. And he thought she loved him. That was why he bought the engagement ring. What had possessed her tonight? How could she have been so spiteful to him? His stomach did another flip. No. I can't be sick again. Please no. He took deep breaths until it settled down again. He knew he could take something for it, but compazine didn't agree with him and besides that, he didn't want to have to take anything now. The ringing of the telephone brought him to his feet. Maybe it was Kerry, calling to tell him to not pack his things. Calling to tell him that she had been abducted by pod people and the woman who had been so awful to him had not really been her.
He snatched the receiver up. "Hello?"
"Carter? It's Chuny. How'd it go? I know she said yes, but how did she like the ring?"
"She never saw it."
"Didn't you propose to her?"
"I never had the chance, Chuny. The minute I walked in the door...oh, God. Excuse me." He dropped the phone and rushed back into the bathroom, his body shuddering from the dry heaves. When he finally had his body back under control and returned to the telephone, he found that Chuny had hung up. Not that he blamed her for that. He wouldn't stay on the line just to hear someone throw up, no matter how good a friend he or she was to him.
Water. He needed water. Needed to get something into his stomach. He made his way upstairs, averting his eyes from the living room because he knew that if he looked in there, he would be reminded of what Kerry had said to him. Of how angry and hurt she had looked. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, then began to slowly sip it, hoping it would all stay down. He knew that he would end up making himself sick if he didn't stop this right now. But, how could he bring his body under control when his entire world was falling down around him?
The doorbell rang and he rushed to answer it, hoping it was Kerry and that she had misplaced her key. Kerry coming back to tell him she was sorry.
His face fell as he opened the door. "Hey, Chuny."
"You look like Hell." She said as she stepped into the house.
"I feel like I'm in Hell, Chuny."
"Let's sit down and you can tell me what happened. That is, if you think you can talk about it without getting sick again?"
He nodded. "I think I can. I'll try."
They sat on the couch and he told her what had happened when Kerry got home.
"And then she left. She never gave me a chance to say anything, Chuny. I thought she loved me."
"She does. I can see it in her eyes, Carter."
He slowly shook his head. "If she loved me, then she would have never hurt me like this." His eyes were brimming with tears. "What is wrong with me? Am I such a bad person that no one can ever love me, Chuny? Am I?"
"No. You're not." She hugged him, inwardly raging at Kerry Weaver for hurting John this way. "You're a very lovable person, John Carter, no matter what Kerry might have said. I've noticed that she's been behaving strangely around work lately. I know that something is bothering her, but I don't for one minute doubt that she loves you."
He shook his head. "I wish I could be as sure as you are. You didn't hear her tonight. She thinks that I'm involved with someone else. She wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell her that I wasn't. She accused me of playing with her heart and emotions; of using her. After that it got really ugly." His stomach did another flip and he knew he was going to lose his battle to keep the water down. He rushed to the nearest bathroom.
Chuny sat on the couch while she waited for him to come back. She was perplexed by what was going on between Carter and Kerry Weaver. She would have sworn that Weaver loved him. She had seen it in Weaver's eyes when she would steal glances in Carter's direction. How could she not see the love that shone in his eyes when he looked at her? Why would she think that John was cheating on her?
"Chuny?"
Her head jerked up as Carter walked back into the living room. "I hate to be a bad host, but you should probably leave now. I need to go downstairs and start packing. She said she didn't want me here when she got back."
"Are you sure you feel up to doing that?"
"No. But, it has to be done."
"Well, I'll help you. Okay?"
John thought about that for a moment. For a brief moment he worried about what Kerry might think if she got home and saw that Chuny was in the basement with him. Then he remembered that Kerry thought they were already lovers, so what did it matter what she thought. He had not been able to convince her otherwise.
"I'd appreciate your help, Chuny."
She followed him down to his room. With her help, they managed to get one suitcase completely packed before she noticed that he was just about dead on his feet.
"Why don't you forget about the rest of this until the morning? You need to get some sleep."
"She wants me gone."
"Screw her. She can have the decency to let you get a decent night's sleep first. You go on and get to bed, I'll let myself out."
Chuny hung around the basement long enough to make sure that John was in bed, then she went upstairs. She was reaching for her coat when she decided that it might be best if she was there when Kerry returned home. A million different scenarios ran through her mind as she thought about what she would say to Kerry. None of them were nice though. She was just going to have to work hard to find a way to talk some sense into Kerry Weaver without going for the jugular vein.
Kerry shook her head as she parked behind John's Jeep. Somehow she had known that he would still be here when she got home. He was just too stubborn for his own good sometimes.
She didn't want to fight with him anymore. It had been hard for her to kick him out. Hard to see that her accusations had hurt him. She had expected surprise. Maybe even relief at having her know the truth. She had not expected hurt. She also had not expected him to deny that he was involved with Chuny. That accusation had left him looking shocked, almost as if he was innocent of the charge. But, Kerry knew better.
She let herself into the house, then came to an abrupt stop when she saw Chuny sitting on her couch. What was she doing here? Perhaps John had called her so she could help him move out? Was he moving in with her then?
"What are you doing here?" Kerry icily asked.
"I need to talk to you. Have a seat."
Kerry arched her eyebrows. "How nice of you to make me that offer in my own home. A home in which you aren't welcome, I might add."
Chuny shook her head. "I don't know what's going on between you and Carter, but you said and did things that hurt him deeply and I want to know why."
Kerry sat down, her anger growing as she listened to Chuny. "You want to know why I'm upset? Did it ever occur to you that it might hurt me to discover that you and John were having an affair behind my back?"
"Excuse me?" Chuny looked as shocked as she sounded. "Carter and I are doing no such thing. Carter is a good friend, and nothing more."
"Oh, come off it, Chuny. The two of you were spotted sneaking out of the supply room today after your little tryst."
"We were in the supply room because Carter wanted to show me the engagement ring he bought. He was going to propose to you tonight. Does that sound like a man who is involved with another woman? I called him to see how it went. As I was speaking with him, he got sick. Apparently he's been physically ill ever since you left earlier. I came over here to make sure he was okay. He did get sick once more after that, but then he tried to pack his stuff because he knew you didn't want to find him here when you got back. He was practically asleep on his feet, so I convinced him to go to bed. I figured the least you could do would be to let him get a decent night's rest before kicking his ass out on the street for no good reason."
Chuny got to her feet and headed for the door. "If you care about him, then you might want to go down there to see how he's doing. I doubt if he's asleep. He's too upset to sleep tonight."
Kerry had barely heard what Chuny had said. Her mind was still focused on the fact that John was going to propose to her. If Chuny was telling her the truth, then that meant that there was nothing between them at all. It meant that John still loved her. And she had kicked him out
Kerry mutely nodded. She had to see for herself that he was all right. And then find some way to explain what she had done to him. If he was even willing to listen to her now.
Chuny let herself out the front door and Kerry walked over to the partially ajar basement door. A faint glow from below told her that at least one light was still on. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the door the rest of the way open, then headed down the steps, trying to be as quiet as possible. When she reached the bottom, she could see that John had his eyes closed, but she doubted that he was asleep. As she neared the bed, she was struck by how pale he looked. What had she done to him?
"John?"
His eyes quickly opened and the eyes that he turned to meet hers were filled with pain.
"Kerry," he simply said.
"I...I don't know what to say. I know I should ask for your forgiveness for what I said and did. I don't want you to move out."
"It sounded like you did."
"I know. I was trying...I've been trying to push you away, John. I'm too old for you, too set in my ways. Not the kind of woman you need in your life. When I noticed that you and Chuny were good friends, I decided to try my best to bring the two of you together. She's young and vivacious. She can give you a lot of children and be the kind of wife you need and deserve. Today, I overheard some people talking in the cafeteria. They said that you and Chuny had been having sex in one of the supply closets. That's why I was so upset when you got home."
"Why would you be upset? You just told me that you were throwing me away."
Kerry flinched at the bitterness in his voice, and saddened that he had thought she was tossing him aside when all she had done had been for his own good. "I was upset because I love you, John."
"You have a strange way of showing it, Kerry."
"I don't expect you to understand why I was doing that, John. Chuny told me how wrong I was. She insisted that the two of you were not having an affair and told me about the engagement ring. I'm sorry I hurt you."
John looked away from her. She didn't believe him when he had assured her that he was not involved with Chuny, but she had believed Chuny. He wasn't a cheater. The one time he had come close to cheating on a girlfriend, he had ended up feeling guilty for months. He would have found a way to break up with Roxanne months earlier if he hadn't felt so guilty over the fact that he had nearly had sex with Lucy Knight in the x-ray room. Kerry knew him; at least he had thought she knew him. If she truly knew him, then she would never believe that he would cheat on her. Not after the many times he had told her that he loved her. She had pushed him aside, thrown him away, just as so many others had.
"John, in the morning, when will you be staying?" Kerry hoped her voice wasn't betraying the uncertainty she felt.
"I don't know, Kerry. I just don't know."
"We need to have a long talk, John. I know that you aren't up to that right now, but we can talk tomorrow."
"I said I don't know what I'll be doing tomorrow," he snapped.
Tears in her eyes, Kerry could only nod. She walked to the bottom of the steps, but once there, she found it difficult to walk out of his room. "John? I love you. I really do. I didn't do this to hurt you, I thought I was setting you free so that you love someone else." Then she slowly walked up the stairs.
John waited until he heard the door close, then he closed his eyes tightly against his tears. "You're the only one I ever wanted to love," he whispered.
Once upstairs, Kerry closed the door, feeling weary. John was hurt by what she had done and said to him. And she couldn't blame him. She only wished she had some idea as to whether or not he would be staying once the morning came.
She went into the living room and sat down, not caring that the Christmas decorations were only half up. John had been the one who insisted on a live tree, one from his grandparents' estate. She had bowed out of going with him to get it, claiming that it was too cold the evening he went. He had brought home a huge tree and had only yesterday gotten the lights put on it. It was still waiting for the rest of the decorations. Kerry usually liked the look of a tree with just the lights, but tonight she didn't feel much like going over and plugging in the lights. It didn't hold any appeal to her right now. And wouldn't again, until she had John back where he belonged, at her side. How could she have been so foolish as to not see earlier that the two of them belonged together?
Still, she couldn't keep her eyes away from the tree and after a few minutes she noticed that there was a wrapped present already under the tree. She went over there and saw that it was for her. From John. She hesitated only a moment before tearing off the wrapping paper and opening the box. The only thing inside was a letter with a large envelope nestled under it. She read the letter slowly -- seeing John's handwriting only brought it home to her how much she was on the verge of losing. John had seen that she wasn't taking his advice to hire the private investigator he had recommended. He stated that he could understand her reluctance and fear, so he had decided to take it upon himself to hire the man on her behalf. He had not read the report, so he had to idea what was inside the envelope. His hope was that it would be an uplifting Christmas present and not a disappointing one, but that either way, he would be there for her.
"Oh, John," she whispered as hot tears ran down her face. "I'm so sorry. So, very sorry."
She picked up the manila envelope and clutched it to her chest. There was no way that she could open it now. It had to be opened when John was with her. He would want to know the answers it contained.
"Please God, let him come back to me," she prayed. She laid the envelope under the tree, then got to her feet and headed upstairs for a restless night.