"Kid said the baby came early," Jimmy prompted.
"Yeah," Buck said. There was a faraway look in his eyes as he remembered the events of that day. "There wasn't anything different that morning. We all got up and ate breakfast, then went on with our chores. It was around noon that Lou started to feel poorly. She went to rest but then called for Kid, screaming for him as she noticed that she was bleeding. I didn't wait for anyone to tell me that it was bad. The second I heard she was bleeding' I saddled up a horse and went for the doctor."
Buck took a few drinks of his coffee. "We had all joked about how big Lou was getting, and how like Kid it was to give her a big baby. The doctor said the baby was coming early because it was too big for Lou's body to handle. The delivery was hard. Very hard. The doctor didn't want Kid there, so I had to take him away. Keeping him away from their bedroom wasn't easy."
"Kid never liked being apart from Lou when she was sick or hurt," Jimmy said.
"No," Buck agreed. He could still hear Lou's screams as the baby was born. The ashen look on Kid's face matched his own fear that having the baby was tearing Lou up. They had both been around women giving birth and they didn't scream with quite the same amount of pain. But, Buck didn't think Jimmy needed to know about that. "The baby was born alive, but Lou was torn up pretty bad. She basically bled to death, Jimmy. There wasn't anything the doctor could do to stop it. Then the little girl, Mary Louise is what they named her, died a few hours after Lou. I don't think that Kid noticed that at the time, he was still at Lou's side when the baby died."
"He loved her so much," Jimmy said.
"Yes." Buck couldn't argue with that. "We had a rough time with him. He didn't want to leave Lou's side, but the undertaker needed to take her away and get her ready to be buried. He's been in bad shape, Jimmy. I'm glad you were able to get through to him. I knew you could."
"Yeah. Well, you mentioned earlier that we need to get a grave dug. I'm assuming that the baby is being buried with Lou?"
Buck nodded. "Both names will be on the tombstone. We're going to put her grave by Jedediah's."
Jimmy nodded. After the bloody attempt by Jedediah and his gang to steal from the Army, Jedediah's men had been buried in a common grave in the town cemetery. But Kid had insisted that Jed be buried at the station. No one could talk him out of that. No one tried. Jimmy certainly felt guilty enough about being the person who had killed Jed, he definitely wasn't going to tell Kid that he couldn't have his brother's grave nearby. The ironic thing was that even in death, Kid wouldn't reveal his last name. The only name on the tombstone was Jed, with birth and death dates and places. No more was put on there.
Buck got to his feet. "Come on."
Jimmy followed him to the barn where they got shovels, then to the small plot. There weren't many graves there -- mainly people who had befriended the riders only to die in Sweetwater. Jimmy's eyes swept over the tombstones, resting fondly on that of Ambrose Merryweather before coming to rest on the empty ground beside Jed's grave.
"Let's get this over with," Buck said. "Teresa is with Emma and Sam today and I don't want her to see us diggin' Lou's grave."
The two men began to dig.
Hours later, the grave was finished and Jimmy and Buck had gone to wash up. They were toweling dry when they saw a buckboard approaching and Jimmy smiled as he recognized Emma and Sam. He vaguely remembered Teresa. She had been such a small girl the one and only time he had ever seen her, but she was obviously growing up. His smile faded as he wondered what she would do now that Lou was gone. Kid was the only family the little girl had left. Jimmy assumed the other children in the wagon were Emma and Sam's.
"James Butler Hickok, my but you are a sight for sore eyes." Emma enveloped him in a big hug. "It's such a shame that something like this had to happen to bring you back for a visit."
"I know. I should have been coming back more often, but other things just kept getting in the way. Hello, Sam."
The two men shook hands. "The important thing is that you're here, Jimmy," Sam said.
"You must be Teresa." Jimmy said to the young girl.
"She most certainly is. And these are our boys; Aaron and James." Emma proudly introduced her sons. The boys were all over Jimmy, asking him more questions than he could possibly answer. It was obvious that they had heard a lot about him.
"I smell something good, Emma," Buck said. He walked to the back of the wagon and peered inside. "Fried chicken. You brought dinner." Buck smiled at her as he lifted a covered platter out of the buckboard.
"I knew you men wouldn't think about cooking until it was too late, so I whipped up a few favorites. How's Kid doing?" Emma was suddenly serious.
"He's asleep," Jimmy said.
Emma nodded. "Good. He needed to rest. He also needs to eat, but I hate to wake him just for that."
"We'll make sure to keep some leftovers for him." Jimmy joined Buck in carrying food into the house. It wasn't much later when they were all seated around the table eating.
"I saw Rachel in town and she'll be out tonight. Amanda's coming in on the stage and Rachel wanted to bring her out here." Emma said as she passed beans to Jimmy.
"No word from Teaspoon?" Jimmy asked.
"It's hard to get mail in and out of Texas. If that's even where he's at. Last I heard, a lot of Texas troops were being moved up to Tennessee. Cody finally got word, but he can't get here," Sam said.
"I'll be happy when this war is over. Lou was the only thing that kept Kid from heading to Virginia. With her gone, I don't know what he'll do," Emma said.
"Excuse me." Jimmy stood. "The meal was real fine, Emma, as always. I want to check on Kid."
"Let us know when he wakes up," Emma said. "I can fix him a plate then."
Jimmy nodded, then made his way back upstairs. He tried to be quiet as he opened the door and then closed it. Kid was sprawled diagonally across the bed, still sound asleep. Jimmy lowered himself into the chair that Kid had been sitting in earlier and simply watched Kid sleep. He couldn't keep his thoughts from going back over the good times they had spent together. Just the two of them, sneaking off to do things that felt so good, even though they both knew they would be in serious trouble if Teaspoon ever caught them messing around. Yet there had been times when being together in a risky place was something they couldn't get enough of. There had been many times when they had loved each other in the hayloft, being able to hear the voices of Teaspoon and the other riders outside. That had been so exciting and seemed to make their climaxes more intense.
Things began to cool off though, as Jimmy noticed Lou paying more attention to Kid, and Kid returning it. Jimmy had known that Kid loved her, but he had selfishly hoped that the two of them never got back together. He wanted Kid for himself. An old problem also cropped up then, the small attraction he and Lou had for each other. There were many times when Lou used his shoulder to cry on about Kid, and as he comforted her, Jimmy often found himself wondering what it would be like to kiss her. If it were a perfect world, then the three of them would be able to live together, joining as one each night. And maybe even in the day, too.
Jimmy could clearly remember the one time his dream came close to becoming a reality. He, Kid and Lou had been assigned to take Elias Mills, a condemned murderer, to be hanged. Not long after they had started out, Kid had been shot. With a bullet in his shoulder, Kid had no choice but to turn back, and Jimmy and Lou were left to Mills to Fort Laramie for his hanging.
All along the way, the old man kept at Jimmy, telling him that Lou was just perfect for him. He was even telling Lou the same thing. She tried to set him straight, let him know that her heart belonged to someone else, but he didn't listen. Mills's words must have worked because one night Jimmy found himself kissing Lou. And feeling so guilty about how much he liked it.
They came close to losing Mills to a vengeful ex-sheriff, but the timely arrival of Kid saved his life and theirs as well. They got to Fort Laramie, got Kid's shoulder patched up, and then watched the hanging. Jimmy couldn't help but notice that it was Kid who Lou clung to as they watched Mills die. It was too late to head back to Rock Creek, so they had rented rooms for the night. Or rather, they had rented one room. The place was packed for the hanging, so the three were forced to share a room. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, except this room only had one bed.
Jimmy smiled as he remembered the look on Lou's face as they entered the room. It came close to being priceless as she eyed the bed, then quickly looked for another one. She had been close to stammering when she turned around and Jimmy couldn't keep from chuckling at her discomfiture. It was a rare day when Lou couldn't manage to say what was on her mind.
"It ain't too bad," Kid said. He sat on the bed, took off his gun belt and boots, then laid down and closed his eyes. "A bed is a bed."
Jimmy and Lou exchanged worried glances. Neither one had noticed how pale Kid had become as the day wore on. Lou sat down on the edge of the bed and tenderly touched his brow, checking for a fever.
"I'm all right," Kid said, even though he kept his eyes closed. "I just have a headache, that's all."
"Well, I guess we can be quiet while you rest," Lou said.
"You can be quiet on the bed, can't you?" Kid asked as he patted the covers beside him.
"I...I suppose so." Lou pulled off her boots, then crawled over Kid's legs and curled up beside him.
Jimmy eyed the pair enviously. Lou looked so content there at Kid's side. He scratched his chin, wondering if the saloon they passed on the way here was too crowded. He didn't feel up to handling any would-be heroes today.
"Jimmy?"
Kid's voice caught him off guard and Jimmy looked over to see Kid looking at him. "Yeah?"
"Get in bed. You need to rest, too." Kid smiled at him. "The bed is plenty big enough for all three of us."
Jimmy slowly grinned, then took off his gun belt. He sat in a chair to pull off his boots, then got in on the other side of the bed, snuggling close to Lou, who didn't seem to mind his presence. Was it possible that Kid had been having the same thoughts about the three of them?
"Lou told me about the kiss," Kid said. His voice was low and Jimmy couldn't tell if he sounded upset.
"Oh? So, are you going to hit me now?" Jimmy asked.
Lou giggled, but she rolled over to look at Jimmy. Her eyes were darker than usual and she reached out a hand to tenderly touch his cheek. "Kid told me about you and him."
Jimmy swallowed noisily as he took in that bit of information. Just how much had Kid told her? Everything? Just a few things? He could feel his cheeks getting warm and he mentally kicked himself for blushing. He was a grown man and well familiar with the ways of the world, women and men. So why did he feel self-conscious over Lou knowing he had been with Kid?
"Just what..." Jimmy cleared his throat, "Just what did Kid tell you?"
"I told her that we were lovers," Kid said. He propped himself up on one elbow. "And I told Lou that you loved her."
"Excuse me, but I am here, you know," Lou interjected. "Jimmy, it don't matter what you and Kid did with each other. Just like it don't matter what Kid and I used to do. What matters is what the three of us can do now."
Jimmy's brow furrowed in confusion. "I don't understand. You looked as if you were going to faint when you saw there was only one bed in here."
"That's cause I thought the bed was too small. I had thought we'd get a room with two beds and then be able to push them together to make a bed big enough for the three of us."
"Oh." Jimmy took a deep breath, then grinned. "I think this bed is plenty big enough, don't you, Kid?" It was slowly dawning on Jimmy that Kid and Lou had planned for this to happen. It had been Kid who had gone to the desk to rent the room. Jimmy wondered if this really was the last room available for the night? Not that he had any intention of getting his own room.
"More than big enough," Kid agreed.
"The door is locked, right?" Lou asked.
"Would it be such a bad thing if it wasn't?" Kid asked as he bent his head to nibble at the back of her neck.
"Ah, well, someone might get an eyeful," Lou said, her words ending in a moan as Jimmy began to kiss her face.
"Let them," Jimmy said. He then began to unbutton Lou's shirt, noting that Kid was busy with her pants. It didn't take long before they had her completely undressed. The two men took their time with Lou, kissing and nibbling her skin, lightly caressing her until she was breathing so quickly that Jimmy thought she would run out of breath. Lou's moans and cries of pleasure were getting to him and he knew he had to get undressed to do all that he wanted. Reluctantly he pulled away from Lou, but her dismay at losing him was replaced by a sigh as Kid turned her over so he could shower kisses down her body.
Jimmy's usually nimble fingers felt like clay as he watched Kid please Lou. Soon her cries filled the room as she climaxed, whispering Kid's name over and over. Jimmy nearly tore the buttons off his shirt in his haste to be the next man to please Lou. Naked, he climbed onto the bed, lowering his head and taking a pert nipple into his mouth. He gave her a minute or two of rest, then let his hand stray lower, finding her wet curls and lightly rubbing his fingers there. He could feel Lou's hands in his hair, holding him to her breast even as her hips arched up, wanting more. And Jimmy wanted that, too. He kissed his way up her chest and neck, then claimed her mouth. Lou's lips quickly parted and she hungrily sucked his tongue into her mouth. They fought for control and Jimmy finally conceded to her strong will. He smiled down at her, then looked over at Kid, whose eyes were dark with desire, just as Lou's were right now.
"May I?" Jimmy asked.
Kid grinned. "I think you're askin' the wrong person."
Jimmy looked into Lou's brown eyes. "May I?" he asked her. "May I enter you?"
"Please?" Lou whispered.
Jimmy moved slowly and carefully to get into position between her legs. Lou was small and he didn't want to hurt her. It wasn't the same as when he was loving Kid. He never worried about crushing him the way he worried about crushing Lou under his weight. Ever so slowly, Jimmy slid into Lou, watching her face as he entered her. He had never thought he would actually get a chance to do this with Lou, and he was so grateful to his friends for making this happen.
Lou was cradled against Kid's body, and Jimmy could see that Kid was putting his hands to good use, caressing Lou and Jimmy both. Urging the couple on as they danced on top of the bed. Lou met Jimmy thrust for thrust, telling him to go faster, deeper. And Jimmy obeyed her commands. Soon he found his own release, and his entire body shuddered as he emptied his seed into her. Jimmy could feel Kid's hand down there and before Jimmy could pull out, he heard Lou cry out as her own release was found, courtesy of Kid. The three of them exchanged naughty grins as Jimmy rolled over to his side of the bed.
"Your turn, Kid," Jimmy said.
"Maybe he don't get a turn," Lou teasingly said.
"Oh?" Kid asked, his smile slightly wavering. "And why not?"
Lou's cheeks were quickly turning red and Jimmy wondered just what she had in mind. He never found out though, because a knock on the door kept her from replying. There was a mad scramble for clothing and since Jimmy was the first to get even halfway dressed, the other two hid on the floor between the bed and the window while Jimmy answered the door. It turned out to be a corporal from the Fort with an invitation from the Colonel to join him for dinner. Jimmy told the Corporal they would be there, then practically slammed the door in the young man's face, then locking it.
Kid and Lou got to their feet. "Dinner?" Lou asked.
"Yep. I'm sorry that you have to go as a rider. It would have been nice to take you out on the town tonight," Jimmy said.
"I had planned to spend the night inside," Lou pouted.
"Sorry," Jimmy said. He had hoped to get back to what they had been doing, but the moment had been shattered and they would need to get ready for dinner with the Colonel. As he dressed, Jimmy wondered what would happen after dinner.
As Jimmy watched Kid begin to toss and turn in the bed, he remembered that nothing else had happened that night. He had made sure that Kid and Lou had a chance to get back to the hotel before he did, and when he finally got into the room, they were fast asleep. Just as well, he had thought then. There had never been another time for just the three of them, or for him and Lou or him and Kid.
It was obvious that Kid was having a nightmare and Jimmy quickly crossed the small space between the chair and the bed, sitting on the edge and gathering Kid into his arms.
"It's all right, Kid. You're just having a bad dream." Jimmy could feel Kid's body tense up as he awoke.
"You mean Lou's not really dead?"
It broke Jimmy's heart to hear the pain in Kid's voice, but he knew he had to tell him the truth. "She's really dead. I'm sorry."
"How am I supposed to live without her, Jimmy? I just can't." Kid broke down again, sobbing wildly as he clung to Jimmy.
All Jimmy could do was sit there and softly stroke Kid's back, murmuring soft nothings to him. Jimmy knew there weren't any words that could take away Kid's pain and heartache. Just as he knew there weren't any words that could take away his own. It came as no surprise to Jimmy that he was now also crying.
The two men sat there in the bed, ignoring the growing darkness, grieving together. Grieving for a woman that one could never be replaced in either man's heart.
There was a soft tapping at the door and Jimmy hastily wiped his eyes and face. "Yeah?"
"It's Emma. Shall I bring something up for Kid to eat?"
Kid shook his head, but Jimmy answered yes. He waited until he heard Emma walk away before talking to Kid. "You need to eat, Kid. You've got a tough day ahead of you tomorrow and you need your strength."
Kid pulled away from Jimmy, his face tear stained and his eyes red and swollen. "There ain't enough strength in the world to get me through tomorrow, Jimmy."
"I'll be there for you, Kid. Let me be your strength."
They stared at each other, feeling the years melt away as they looked into each other's hearts.
Finally, Kid nodded. "I'm glad you're here."
"Me, too," Jimmy said. "I wish to Hell that it wasn't for this. I'm so sorry I never came to visit. It just always seemed so awkward, after all that happened between us."
"Lou loved you, Jimmy," Kid said.
"She loved you more. The two of you were perfect together." What Jimmy really wanted to know was if Kid loved him. But he wasn't going to ask that right now, possibly never. Jimmy didn't think he could stand it if Kid's answer was no. The dream that Kid did love him was one of the main things that had kept him from sinking into despair while alone. There was no way that Jimmy was willing to give up that dream.
