"I've been wanting' to do that for a long time. Ever since that day I challenged you," Jimmy said.
"Really? That long?" Kid looked confused. "I thought you were in love with Lou."
"If I was to pick a woman to marry, I would pick Lou. She's a fine woman, Kid, there's no doubtin' that. But I've wanted you longer and harder than I've ever wanted her," Jimmy said.
"I noticed the harder part." Kid grinned as he slid his hand between their bodies to caress Jimmy through his pants.
Jimmy closed his eyes as a moan escaped his lips. This was like a dream come true and he idly wondered if maybe he was dreaming all of this? Could it really be possible that Kid felt the same way about him? Jimmy's mind was racing as he struggled to come to terms with the contrast of the virginal Kid who had never been with a woman before Lou and the Kid who was under him right now, toying with him as if he knew exactly what he was doing. No, Jimmy corrected himself, not "as if" he knew. Kid knew it all right. He already had Jimmy's pants undone and was now making skin to skin contact with him. Kid had been with a man before. Maybe more than once and maybe more than one man. Jimmy felt a pang of jealousy at that thought, even though he knew he had no right to be jealous. Kid wasn't the first for him, so why was he expecting to be the first for Kid?
Kid's voice brought his attention back to the task at hand. "This would be easier if you were undressed." Kid grinned up at him.
The huskiness of Kid's voice inflamed Jimmy's desire and he pushed himself to his knees. Jimmy's hands idly caressed Kid's hips as he gazed down at his friend, admiring the view from that angle. Keeping up the gentle caressing of Kid's left hip, Jimmy reached out with his right hand and grasped Kid's cock. He gently pumped it a time or two, then moved his hand higher until he could easily pull back the foreskin, exposing the glistening and sensitive head. Jimmy lightly brushed the tip with his left thumb, smiling as he heard Kid moan from the touch. His touch.
Knowing that he had to feel Kid's skin against his own, Jimmy stood and began to undress. His original intent was to put on a slow show for Kid, delaying the inevitable and driving him crazy with want. That plan lasted until Jimmy found that he couldn't easily get off his boots and socks without sitting down, something he was determined to avoid. He liked having Kid look up at him with blatant desire. He liked looking down at Kid's naked body even more. So, Jimmy balanced himself as best he could and removed those items without falling over. Kid's suppressed laughter let Jimmy know that he was losing control of the situation, so he hurriedly got out of his pants and long underwear, tossing them on the pile of clothing behind him.
When Jimmy turned back around, he saw that Kid had gotten to his knees in front of him, his eyes focused on Jimmy's half gone erection. As Kid's hands began to caress his cock and balls, Jimmy closed his eyes and sighed. He let his hands rest on Kid's head as he enjoyed the gentle explorations and teasing. But his light touch soon turned to a passionate grip in Kid's hair as he felt his cock slowly engulfed in the warmth of Kid's mouth. Jimmy whimpered as Kid worked him over with his lips and tongue, his enthusiasm for Jimmy evident with every move he made. Jimmy could feel his desire grow and he knew he was about to come. He opened his mouth to warn Kid, but it wasn't a word that left his lips but a cry of desire. A cry that quickly became a cry of denial as cool air suddenly assailed Jimmy's cock. Feeling stubborn, Jimmy pulled Kid's head back toward his body, rocking his own hips forward to reestablish contact with that wonderful mouth. And Kid gave in to that demand, slowly working his magic until Jimmy was once more on the brink of release before totally pulling away. Even as Jimmy tried to pull Kid back to him, he felt Kid slip out of his grasp.
Jimmy took tried to take deep, even breaths before he opened his eyes. He still couldn't shake the feeling that Kid was more experienced with this, and what he had just experienced was doing a lot to reinforce that feeling. When Jimmy did open his eyes he saw that Kid was back on the blanket, this time on his stomach. Jimmy didn't trust himself to speak as he saw that Kid's knees were pulled up under his body, offering that body to him. It was one offer from Kid that Jimmy couldn't resist. He fell to his knees behind Kid, then bent over him to kiss the back of his neck.
"Are you sure?" Jimmy whispered in Kid's ear.
Kid nodded. "I want you in me, Jimmy. I've wanted that for a long time, too."
"There's nothing around here to make it easier."
"Spit works."
"I know it works, Kid. I just wanted our first time to be easier."
"You can make it up next time, okay? Just do it."
Jimmy grinned at the thought of a next time for them. He stuck a finger in his mouth, then quickly found Kid's opening, gently working his way inside. Kid was tight and warm and old memories flooded back, reminding Jimmy of why he sometimes sought out other men for sex. A woman couldn't match this tightness or velvet softness inside. Jimmy thought about maybe adding another finger to loosen Kid for loving, but the way Kid was bucking back on his one finger told him that Kid was more than ready for the next step.
Jimmy slowly withdrew his finger, reveling in Kid's moans of pleasure as he did so. Then he worked up a good mouthful of saliva and spit into his hands, wetting his stiff cock. He had barely begun to enter Kid when Kid pushed back, impaling himself firmly on Jimmy's cock. The sensations took Jimmy's breath away and he almost came right then. He had to hold Kid's hips in place to keep him from moving again or else he would lose it then and there. When he finally had his body back under control, Jimmy pushed in the rest of the way, completely burying himself in Kid. Jimmy paused again, savoring the sensation of their bodies being joined as one.
As Jimmy began to thrust in and out of Kid, he lost all track of time. It could have been a few minutes or an hour until he came, he really had no idea. All he knew was how right it felt to be inside of Kid, how wonderful it felt there and how it made him feel proud that Kid was eagerly participating, meeting him thrust for thrust, his moans and exhortations striking a chord deep within Jimmy's heart and soul. When Jimmy came, it was with a violent thrust, and he felt himself emptying his seed deep in Kid. He collapsed against Kid's back, only dimly aware that Kid had a hand on his own cock and was stroking himself to release. Jimmy felt a little guilty about that, but he was too spent to do anything for Kid. Finally, Jimmy was able to get to his feet, and he extended his hand to Kid, helping him to his feet as well. They returned to the stream and washed quickly, then returned to their campfire. Dinner was forgotten as they settled into Jimmy's blankets and fell asleep. Jimmy knew they were taking a risk by sleeping naked in the woods. They were easy prey for man and beast, but the feeling of having a naked Kid next to him made Jimmy forget about being careful for once. If he died that night, then he would die a happy man.
*************************************
Jimmy mentally shook his head. This was not the time to be remembering the first time he and Kid had been together. Jimmy wasn't here to seduce his friend into bed. He was here to help him bury his wife.
Jimmy lightly knocked on the doorframe, then stepped into the room. Kid never turned to look at him, but he knew that it was Jimmy who had entered.
"I killed her, Jimmy. It was having my baby that killed her."
"You can't be thinkin' like that, Kid. It ain't doing you any good. Lou loved you and she wanted to have your baby. There ain't no blame there."
Kid turned his head to look at Jimmy, his eyes red from lack of sleep. "The baby came early. The doctor said that Lou was too small to be havin' babies and the baby was too big for her. Not big enough to live, but big enough to kill Lou. And that's my fault. I ain't a small man, Jimmy."
"You might as well say that it's Lou's fault for bein' small."
Kid's eyes flashed angrily. "Don't ever say that. It wasn't her fault."
Jimmy knelt in front of Kid, placing his hands firmly on Kid's knees. "It weren't nobody's fault, Kid. It just happened. I ain't the most religious of men, but I know enough to be able to say that God takes those he wants. We can't control the how and the when of it."
Kid's lower lip began to tremble and his eyes were filling with tears. "I can't live without her, Jimmy. I just can't."
"I know." Jimmy pulled Kid to his chest and held him as he began to cry. Kid's sobs were heartbreaking to hear and they attracted Buck's attention. Jimmy nodded to Buck as the other man came to a stop in the doorway. Both of them knew that Kid needed to get his grief out now.
Buck came on into the room and put his arms around the back of Kid's shoulders, lending him his strength. It was all the two men could do for their friend at the moment. Jimmy hoped that Kid would cry until he was tired out, so they could put him to bed. He would need his rest if he expected to be there for Teresa for Lou's funeral. Once Kid was taken care of, Jimmy wanted to sit down with Buck and find out just what had happened when Lou died, then find Lou's sister to see how she was holding up. Maybe see Emma, Sam and Rachel after that. See anyone and do anything to keep from having to face his own grief over Lou's death.
Kid's body was slowly becoming heavier and Jimmy belatedly realized that Kid had stopped crying and was now asleep as he had hoped. With Buck's help, Jimmy got Kid into bed. Jimmy tenderly brushed the hair back from Kid's face, not concerned that Buck was still in the room. Of all the other riders, Buck had been the first to know that there was more to his and Kid's relationship than being friends.
"He blames himself," Jimmy softly said.
"I know. There was nothing that the doc could do for her."
"I want to hear about it, but not here. I don't want to risk waking' him up. He needs to get some rest."
"None of us could convince him to get any sleep. He refused to leave here."
Jimmy nodded, then carefully tucked the covers in around Kid's body. He got to his feet and headed for the door, pulling it almost closed once Buck had left the room. They headed downstairs to the kitchen and Jimmy sat down at the table while Buck poured coffee for them. Even though Jimmy wanted to hear what had happened, he knew that the telling would be difficult for Buck, so he didn't rush him. When Buck was ready to talk, he would talk. And to be truthful, Jimmy wasn't all that sure that he was ready to hear the details.
