Author/pseudonym: Cathy Roberts
Email address: huntersglenn@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17
Status: Completed
Pairing: John Carter/Luka Kovac
Date: March 6, 2003
Archive: Please ask first
Series: 5/7
Category: "E.R."
Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure. I owe a special thanks to Melissa for planting the story idea in my head and being there to look over each bit as it was written.
Summary: The slashy adventures of John Carter and Luka Kovac in the Congo. The song "Grace Is Gone" is by Dave Matthews.
Dr. Kovac, I Presume, Part 5
By Cathy Roberts
John was almost out of breath from running all the way to Luka's room. His first instinct was to bang on the door, demanding to be let in, but years of training made him ignore that instinct, and instead he took a deep breath, then calmly knocked on the wooden surface. But his heart beat wildly as the seconds passed while he waited for Luka to open the door.
And when he did...John just stood there, staring at him, thinking how good the man looked, even if there was a bit of sadness in Luka's eyes. There were so many things he wanted to say to Luka: that he wasn't with Abby, that he wanted them to see each other once they were home in Chicago, that he wanted them to both go home. But as John faced Luka, all of those things eluded him. What happened was something he hadn't planned, but it wasn't something unwanted either. Stepping forward, he wrapped his arms around Luka's body, pulling him close and kissing him passionately, pushing his way into the room as they kissed and then kicking the door closed with his foot.
The next thing John knew, Luka was on his back crossways on the bed, his head barely on the mattress and John falling on top of him. Taking a deep breath as the kiss ended, John smiled down at Luka. "You came back." Oh, that was smooth, he thought. A million things to tell the man and the best he could come up with was 'you came back'.
Luka regarded him solemnly, then began to smile. "I did. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, but you were on the phone with Abby and I didn't want to disturb you."
"It wouldn't have mattered. We were confirming the break-up, more or less. I'm not back together with Abby, Luka."
Luka's small smile was an instant grin. "You're not? But I thought that she'd ask you to forgive her..."
"She did, and I did forgive her. But we both realized that we were not meant to be a couple." John moved around until he was comfortably straddling Luka's hips. Well, it wasn't all THAT comfortable, considering the way his erection was being held back by his pants. But compared to being sprawled over Luka's body, it was a bit better. "I thought you had changed your mind...you know...about us," John said, his voice going soft on the last bit, more than a bit surprised at how much it meant to him that Luka apparently hadn't changed his mind about anything.
"I thought you were back with Abby...I guess I jumped the knife with that, didn't I?" Luka said, his hands reaching for the buttons on John's shirt. "I talked myself into believing you were with her and didn't want me around."
"You jumped the gun, and yes, I do want you around. I want..." John paused, moaning lightly while Luka's hand slipped inside of his partially open shirt, fingers rubbing over an already hard nipple. "I want us to give us a try, Luka."
More buttons were undone in the silence that followed John's statement, and he was about to wonder if he had said the wrong thing when Luka suddenly sat up and began to suck hungrily on an exposed teat. John moaned, running his hands through Luka's hair before regaining his senses enough to start undoing the buttons of Luka's shirt. "I take it that you agree with me?"
Luka's head moved in what John thought was a nod, but his mouth never moved except for where his tongue was now flicking at the nipple his sucking had made stand tall. Again, John moaned, momentarily distracted from his task of undressing Luka. It appeared as if they were going to make love again, not that John minded that idea one bit.
Getting his body back under control, John's fingers flew over the buttons, and he pulled Luka's shirt out from under his belt, undoing the last few buttons before trying to push the shirt over Luka's shoulders. Luka managed to somehow help him with that, moving his arms just enough to allow the shirt to be removed without ever taking his arms far from John's body. John, for his part, reciprocated in kind, and they were then both shirtless, although John wanted nothing more right then to also be totally naked and on Luka's lap that way.
And Luka apparently had the same idea, because his hands were next at John's waist, undoing the belt and then the button and zipper. Luka's hand was cool as he pulled John's boxers out of the way and wrapped it around John's hard penis. John's body thrust forward, moving his erection within that fist, once more giving voice to the pleasure he was feeling.
"Yes, Luka..." John said, taking the time to get to his feet and letting Luka pull his pants and boxers down, but not off. No, Luka had something else in mind first, and his lips were quickly on John's penis, slathering it with attention while John kicked off his shoes and tried to step out of his pants without dislodging Luka. It was good, what Luka was doing, very good. But, John wanted more and he wanted to come when Luka came, and didn't think that could happen if Luka sucked him dry right then.
"Luka, slow down, okay? We've got all night," John's hands went gently to Luka's head as he tried to disengage the guy.
Luka let go of him, but pulled John closer, resting his cheek against John's belly and holding him tightly. "I missed you. I thought we'd never again be like this. God, Gillian was right, I was a fool to let my fears get the better of me."
"Me, too. I had myself convinced that you'd changed your mind about us, especially when you arrived today and looked right through me as if I wasn't there." John was running his fingers through Luka's hair, wanting to memorize the way each and every strand felt as they moved across his skin. "That hurt, Luka."
"I'm sorry." Luka placed a tender kiss on John's belly, then put his cheek back against the skin. "I had to ignore you or run the risk of giving a free show to everyone in the waiting room. Somehow I don't think that the Congo is quite ready for that."
"Probably not." John once more tried to get out of his pants, but they seemed to be stuck at his ankles, and being held that tightly by Luka wasn't giving him the chance to remove them.
"Something wrong?" Luka's voice floated up to John's ears, with more than a hint of amusement in it.
"Not a thing. That is, if you think that it's perfectly normal for me to be standing here with my pants and underwear bunched up at my ankles," John replied with a chuckle.
Luka pulled back from him, looking John up and down, then grinning. "Looks fine to me. You can't run away from me with your pants where they are."
"As if I had a reason to run," John retorted, taking advantage of the physical break to bend over enough to untangle his pants and then they were kicked to the side. All he had left to take off was his socks, and he started to bend again to remove them, but was stopped by Luka once more pulling him in close.
"Leave them on," Luka growled, his tongue snaking out to lick its way down John's surgical scar.
"It looks dorky," John protested.
"I don't intend to make love to your socks, John. Forget about them." The tongue dipped into John's belly button, making him squirm.
"No way," he replied. "I'll have you know that I have made a personal vow to never look dorky."
"Dorky? What is this word 'dorky'? I do not know this word," Luka said, exaggerating his accent while moving his tongue downward.
"Liar," John shot back with amusement. It was sometimes convenient for Luka to be from another country since he could easily claim ignorance of something and get away with it, too. John then had to grasp Luka's shoulders tightly as the man's tongue began to slowly lap at the head of his penis. "Jesus, Luka...you're going to make me come and I don't want that."
Luka looked up at him, his eyes unreadable. "You don't want me to make you come?"
"Not yet, no," John admitted. "I want to come when you come." He smiled down at Luka. "And I want you naked. Completely naked. No dorky socks allowed."
Laughing, Luka got to his feet, his hands reaching for his belt buckle. "I think that can be arranged, but soon my friend, I will once more be having my total and complete way with you."
"I know," John said, quickly removing his socks while trying to watch Luka undress. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."
Luka's eyebrows rose. "That doesn't sound very obedient. You sound demanding."
John grinned as he stepped forward, his hand grasping Luka's newly revealed hardness. "I am extremely demanding, Luka. It's something you're just going to have to get used to. Now, finish stripping so we can make love. We don't have all night, you know."
"Seems to me that I remember you saying just the opposite not so long ago," Luka said as he slipped out of his shoes and began to pull his pants off.
"And look at how much time that's passed since I said that. I want us to do it, oh, I don't know, ten or twenty time before dawn. Time is wasting, Luka."
Luka laughed again. "Ten or twenty times is it? I don't think either one of us has that kind of recovery ability."
"You don't?" John asked, cocking his head to one side as he regarded Luka. "You're right. I forgot that you're older than I am. Okay, so ten times for me and five for you."
"Brat," Luka shot back as he tossed his socks aside and stood proudly in front of John, completely naked and hard. "But I think we can at least try our best and see what we can accomplish."
"Good idea," John said as he sat down on the bed and reached out, gently grasping Luka's penis. The skin felt like silk, smooth and warm. He wished he could just take it into his mouth, sucking on it with as much enthusiasm as Luka had seemed to feel when he had done that to John. But John felt hesitant, unsure of what to do, where to start. Not sure that he'd even like having a penis in his mouth in the first place. Touching it was okay, he thought, his long fingers caressing the shaft, easing back the foreskin and revealing the head, a small bead of pre-ejaculate sitting there, glistening under the harsh overhead light. John found himself missing the candlelight at that moment, halfway wishing that the Mai Mai had once again cut the power lines. Then again, this was the first true time he saw Luka's body.
John glanced upward, his insides thrilling as he saw the look of pleasure on Luka's face, then felt Luka's hands coming to rest on his shoulders. Luka wanted what he was doing, John could tell that much. And, as a man, he knew that Luka wanted more; wanted to feel John's mouth on his penis.
Returning his eyes to the fine organ in front of him, John leaned forward, his tongue quickly darting out to lap at the bead of moisture, gingerly tasting it, then savoring the salty tang that was a precursor of Luka's essence. It wasn't so bad, John thought, and he swirled his tongue around the entire head, then slowly sucked it into his mouth. Keeping his lips tight, John moved his head forward, taking in more and more of Luka until he had all of the man engulfed. John could smell the musk of Luka's body, and his own body responded to that scent, his penis twitching as it tried to get even harder for Luka. Luka's hands were now in John's hair while he quietly urged John onward.
And John found himself eagerly complying with that silent request, slowly letting that shaft slide out of his mouth and then licking at the head again, tasting salty liquid and then sucking Luka back in, his tongue massaging Luka as he went down, only to repeat the process, over and over again. One of John's hands snaked behind Luka, grabbing a butt cheek and pulling Luka even closer while his mouth worked him over. And then John found his mouth empty as Luka pulled away and knelt before him, their faces millimeters apart for a moment before Luka pulled John closer, their lips meeting and Luka sucking as hungrily on John's tongue as John had been sucking on Luka's penis.
Hands were everywhere, caressing and teasing, pinching. Their moans managing to make it past their sealed lips, and John found himself falling backward on Luka's bed, his legs spreading open even further as he offered more of himself to Luka. It could never get any better than that, John thought as he looked up into Luka's face, noting the desires in those hazel eyes and knowing that they were reflected in his as well.
Luka's heart was beating wildly against his chest as he looked down at Carter, a feeling of fright running through him as he realized that his own suppositions and insecurities had almost cost him the man. He looked down into Carter's eyes, and the look he saw there quickly chased that fear away, replacing it with love and desire and lust. He wanted to be inside of Carter, wanting to merge with him into one being, wanted to claim him as his own. He wanted to make love with Carter without a condom in the way, so his seed could seep into Carter's body, but Luka knew that wasn't possible. Maybe once they were back in Chicago where they could be tested over a period of months, be certain they were both clean, especially with the way AIDS was so prevalent where they were. How certain could they be that they hadn't been exposed? How certain could HE be? He'd been with Gillian, who wasn't the most chaste woman around, and then he'd been with the nurse from Scotland. Hell, all in all, for the past year or thereabouts, he'd pretty much been a slut; bedding nearly everyone he could, including prostitutes.
Oh, yes, he'd been a virgin on his wedding night, but since his wife had died, Luka had definitely made up for the lack of experience, most of it happening once he had lost Abby. No, not really then. It had been when he knew Abby was seeing Carter. And now he found himself wondering if the need to bury his emotions in sex and the search for fulfillment came from wanting and not having Carter and not from missing and wanting Abby. A tear slid down Luka's cheek, dropping from it and splashing onto Carter's chest before Luka could wipe it away.
John reached up and tenderly cupped Luka's cheek. "What's wrong?" he softly asked, his lips full from their kisses.
"I was thinking about all that I've done wrong recently, and how now I'm finally doing something right." Luka bent his head and licked away his own tear, then kissed his way over to a taut nipple, knowing that even a little bit of play there would drive Carter wild, and Luka had a nearly overwhelming desire to drive John Carter wild. He wanted to return to Chicago and not have to worry about Carter returning to Abby, despite his assurances that that was something that wasn't going to happen. Luka was rewarded with the squirming of Carter's body and his voice quietly begging for more, for Luka to take him.
"Stay here," Luka said, giving the nipple one last flick with his tongue and then leaving the bed long enough to grab a condom and something to use as a lubricant. As he turned to return to the bed, his breath was taken away by the beauty of seeing Carter's body laid out before him, the lips still full, the eyes dark with desire, a flush on his body, his cock hard and ready and his legs parted, giving Luka full access to whatever he wanted.
Once again kneeling on the floor, Luka began to kiss his way up Carter's thigh, from the knee to the tender spot where the thigh met the hip, then avoiding his groin so he could repeat his actions on the other thigh, quietly driving his lover wild once more, and smiling as he heard and felt Carter respond.
Standing, his own cock bobbing in the air, Luka locked eyes with Carter, tearing into the condom packet and rolling the protection down his cock without ever once looking down. Then he reached to the floor for the lubricant, spilling a huge amount into his hand and working it into Carter's skin - first his cock and balls, then around and into his anus, getting him ready. Or perhaps that should be 'more ready', Luka thought as Carter kept trying to buck his hips against Luka's fingers.
"Are you ready for me?" Luka asked, his voice husky and sounding incredibly loud in the room. "Can you take me without more preparation?"
"God, yes," John replied, his arm reaching down and his hand clamping around Luka's wrist, holding his hand in place against his bottom. "I need you now, Luka. Please..."
Luka nodded, placed another kiss on a thigh, then rose once more to his feet, gently disengaging his wrist from Carter's grasp and slowly withdrawing his fingers, making sure they pressed teasingly against Carter's prostate. His cock head was quickly at the opening, hovering there while Luka slowly smiled. "Are you sure you're ready for me? I don't want to hurt you," he said, certain that Carter was more than ready.
"I'm sure," John replied, looking beseechingly up at Luka. "Either take me or I'll have to do it myself."
"As pleasurable as that sounds, I think that we can wait and do that once we're home. As a matter of fact, I can think of nothing I'd like better than to be sitting on my couch while you slowly impale yourself on my cock. What do you think, Carter? Does that appeal to you, too?" Luka asked, his hand now gripping Carter's cock, holding it tightly, but not yet moving his own cock.
"Yeah..." John replied as his eyes fluttered closed. "I'd like that a lot. But I think there's something else that needs to happen first."
"And what is that?" Luka asked as he began to slowly pump Carter's cock, noticing the way that simple movement could make Carter's breathing grow labored.
"You need to take me now." And with that sentence, John moved his hips, gasping lightly as the movement resulted in some part of Luka entering his body.
"Ah, yes," Luka breathed, his cockhead already sending messages of a tight pleasure to his brain as it disappeared into Carter's body. "You're quite right." And then Luka gave up on talking and instead gave his full attention to burying himself deeply within Carter - with Carter's help as the man moved his body on the bed, hips moving upward, his body moving toward the edge of the bed - it all worked to the same end result - ultimate pleasure for the both of them.
Days of abstinence, of need and want, those days combined with the recent desire to make sure that neither man lasted very long, and Luka found himself coming within minutes, his hand still working furiously to bring Carter to completion even as the rest of his body was stilled from the intensity of his orgasm. And then Carter erupted over Luka's hand, his cock pulsing over and over again.
Luka let his body fall forward, hoping that he wouldn't leak out of the condom, but wanting so much to kiss Carter while still buried inside of him. It was a quick kiss, one followed by a quick suck on a nipple before Luka straightened his body and carefully withdrew, the combined sigh and moan coming from Carter's lips letting Luka know that Carter didn't like being left any more than Luka liked leaving him.
He knotted the condom and tossed it into his bedside trashcan, then climbed back onto the bed, hovering over Carter's body, kissing and licking his way to Carter's lips. "I...damn it, Carter, I..." their lips barely touching, Luka stopped himself from saying that words that were waiting there on the tip of his tongue. Would the words drive Carter away? Would they be more than what Carter was ready to hear?
John looked up questioningly. "You what?" he prompted, a smile on his face. "You can't get enough of this, you like kissing me, you...
I love you," Luka blurted, and then, to keep Carter from responding, Luka closed the small space between their lips, kissing him hungrily. His heart soared when he felt Carter's arms wrap around his body, pulling him closer until he was literally resting on top of Carter's body. The kiss ended, and Luka raised his head slightly, his eyes searching Carter's face for any sign of uncertainty or rejection. What he seemed to see was intensity, but intensity of what, Luka didn't know.
"She never said that. Hell, I never said that, either. We just always figured the other one knew it. I told Maggie...I guess I should have been telling Abby that," John said. "But, that doesn't matter now, does it?" He lifted his hand to softly caress Luka's face. "I'm not there yet, Luka. But I promise you that when I am, I will tell you. I won't just assume that you know. I won't make that mistake with you."
Luka slowly nodded as he let his body ease down beside Carter's, their arms automatically reaching out to embrace one another. "I know my feelings for Abby were stronger than I even admitted to myself. Until she was gone, that is. I was a fool to them, not wanting to let myself feel that much for another person. I guess perhaps I was too afraid that it would all be taken from me...again. I won't make that mistake with you, John. Although I almost did, didn't I? I was letting my fears get the better of me and had almost lost you without you leaving me."
"That won't happen," John said as he moved onto his side so they were face to face. "I have very strong feelings for you, Luka, even if I can't yet call them feelings of love. But give me time and that will change."
Luka also moved onto his side and his hand reached out to caress Carter's face. "I'll give you eternity if that what it takes," he whispered.
John smiled wryly. "I hope it won't take that long, but I do like the idea of spending an eternity together." His smile turned into a look of reflection. "It's funny, because I was all set to propose to Abby once I got back home. I almost proposed - properly, that is - before, but it didn't happen. I'm thinking that it didn't happen for a reason, maybe because she wasn't the one for me after all and you are. I want the time to find out, Luka."
"So do I. But right now, we need to spend our time sleeping. We both leave early in the morning, but once back in Chicago, we'll have all the time in the world, John. This I promise you."
They kissed, lips lingering while hands caressed, and then the two fell into a sleep devoid of the nightmares that usually plagued them. It was a sleep created out of exhaustion and being fully sated. It was a sleep of the contented.
To be continued