Author/pseudonym: MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Email address: monaCK2@yahoo.com and huntersglenn@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17
Status: Finished. Well, mostly finished. Just the ending left to write.
Pairing: John Carter/Dave Malucci
Date: April 4, 2004
Archive: Please ask first
Series: 47/?
Category: "E.R."
Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure. The title of the story was inspired by the Jimmy Buffett song of the same name, and no infringement is intended. The story can be found on the following web sites: http://www.heresmona.com/fanfic.html
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Boutique/7087/, and
http://www.errealmofslash.com
Summary: It's a slashy A/U story about how Season 8 might have been and contains no spoilers for the current season.
"Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes, Part 47"
By MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Dave felt the tension leave John's body -- was it over? Was it *finally* over? Dave wasn't sure, but he wasn't going to release his grip on John. Not any time soon. First of all, Dave was afraid that the attacks were going to come again. And second of all, Dave was more than slightly fearful that John was going to do something to hurt himself. Dave was silent as he looked over towards John, and finally, he found his voice. "J...John? T...talk to me, please..." There were still tears in Dave's eyes.
Damn, but why did Dave have to sound as if he still cared? John's eyelids squeezed closed even harder as tears once again threatened. "Can you hand me my clothes? The sooner I'm dressed, the sooner I'm out of here and you'll be safe from me." John hoped that his voice sounded a lot stronger to Dave's ears than it had sounded to his own. But, sounding strong or not, John knew that Dave was much better off without him, even if he did still care.
"No, damn it...I am not lettin' you leave, do you hear me? I'm not lettin' you leave. I...I don't give up that easily..." Dave could hear the fear in John's voice, and Dave felt tremendous guilt that not only did he not initially push John away, but that he had had to use force to get John off of him when it was obvious that the other man was in the throes of a flashback of some kind. "I promised ya that I'd be here for ya in *all* times, good and bad. It's...that hasn't changed..."
"I hurt you," John said. His arm was now beginning to ache from the way Dave was holding it, and the pain from his feet was becoming more pronounced, but none of that mattered. All that mattered was that John had hurt Dave. "I hurt you and I might hurt you again. I can't stand that, Dave. I can't stand the idea of living without you, but knowing I've hurt you is killing me." At that point John began to lose his battle to keep from crying. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you...I don't know what happened, Dave, and I'm sorry, but I can't change it and you're better off to just let me go."
"N...no," Dave managed to say, and loosening his grip on John's arm, he pulled the other man fully into his embrace. "No. I'm not lettin' you go. I...we'll work past this, we...we haveta work past this. I...I can't be without ya, please...we'll...we'll figure out a way past this..." There was no way that Dave was going to let John leave. It wasn't even close to being an option. Dave had let John walk out of his life too many times, and there was no way that he was going to allow it to happen again. "I am *not* going to let you go. I know you didn't do it on purpose...I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and that...that makes all the difference in the world. Please, don't do this."
John's body stiffened as he was pulled into Dave's arms. God, but Dave made it so difficult to do what John knew was the only right thing to do. As he listened to Dave's words, though, John could see that he wasn't going to win. Not then, anyway. He let his body relax against Dave's, giving in for the moment to what his heart wanted. He'd find a way in the morning to make what his head wanted happen. Dave would just have to understand that it would be for his own good.
Dave could feel the tension once again leave John's body, and a sob that Dave had been stifling escaped his lips. What an emotionally charged evening this had turned out to be. Kissing the side of John's face gently, he began to guide him back towards their bed. "Let...lemme take care of you..please. I...I need to take care of ya...I...I need to check your feet. I need to make sure your feet are okay..." At that point, taking care of John was how Dave had to focus his mind. Maybe if Dave took better care of him, John wouldn't want to leave him anymore. Dave couldn't handle John leaving. That much was a fact.
"My feet?" John wasn't worried about how his feet felt, not when it was his heart that was shattering over the thought of leaving Dave behind. But he didn't fight Dave as the man led him back to the bed and pushed him onto the mattress. John looked up at Dave and a small gasp escaped his lips as he saw the ugly red marks on Dave's shoulders. Marks he had put there. John reached up and tenderly touched Dave's left shoulder. "I hurt you."
"It'll heal," Dave said, not wanting to think about what pain he was going to be in later. The wounds to Dave's body always healed after his old man pounded into him. All Dave had to do was wear shirts that had sleeves for a while. No one would ever know that he was hurt. "I need to take care of your feet. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Swallowing hard, he brought his eyes up to meet John's. "We'll...we'll figure out a way past this... "
John couldn't bear to look into Dave's eyes, or to touch the man he had hurt. The physical evidence might heal, but Dave would always know that John had hurt him. He would always know that John had *wanted* to hurt him, and that was the part that was toughest to bear. As he let his hand fall away from Dave's body, John found himself facing the inescapable fact that while he didn't want to live without Dave in his life, he also couldn't live in Dave's life.
"Yeah, sure...we'll get past this," John said, but it made him sad to know that he'd be leaving Dave to be the one to deal with it all. It wasn't the first time John had thought about killing himself, but it was the first time that it had ever been a serious option.
Dave was still a bit numb from everything that occurred. John had physically assaulted him, and it was still a little much for Dave to take. His eyes drooped, and he soon found himself crawling into bed next to the man he had committed his life to, for better or for worse. They simply *had* to find a way to get past this. Some how, some way. Tentatively, Dave moved his arms around John, hoping that the man wouldn't brush him away. "I love you, John. Please, don't ever forget that. I *love* you."
"I won't," John said. It was that knowledge that was eating John up inside, making him know that he could never, ever hurt Dave again. John looked away from Dave, suddenly feeling too exposed in the brightly lit room. "We should get back to sleep," he tonelessly suggested. He needed time to think, and John knew he couldn't think clearly if Dave was constantly talking to him and watching him.
Dave nodded, realizing that he was going to need to shut the light if either of them were going to try to sleep. Dave was pretty tired, but he didn't know how easily sleep was going to come after all that had occurred. He got up then, and a few minutes later, they were once again in complete darkness. Dave crawled back into bed with his lover. "Try...try to sleep," he found himself saying as he once again wrapped his arms around John. And obviously more tired than he thought, Dave quickly drifted off into a rather deep, if troubled, sleep.
As John listened to Dave's even breathing, he found a plan forming in his mind. If he couldn't be with Dave without hurting him, then John simply had no desire to go on living. During that day he had managed to shock his father, hurt his mother with his choice of a lover, and now hurt Dave, not only emotionally, but physically. John knew it wasn't fair of him to expect Dave to stay by his side while he wrestled with his demons, and, quite frankly, John wasn't so sure that he even wanted to confront his past. John was sure that in the morning, there would be pressure from his family to press charges against Jenny and maybe even Alex, and he didn't want to do that.
It seemed to him that there was only one way to avoid the entire mess. There was only one way to ensure that he would never again hurt Dave. The only question that John couldn't answer was how to kill himself. Slitting his wrists wouldn't be good because someone would find him; the same thing with overdosing or shooting himself. John knew people would be upset enough that he was dead, that he was a coward, but he didn't really want them to have to deal with finding his body on top of everything else.
Bodies washed up on the shore all the time. Drowning was probably the best answer, John thought. Just walk out into the lake, start to swim until he was out quite a ways and then just stop swimming. And then just stop living.
John moved to his side and noticed that Dave didn't seem to notice the movement. Hopefully it meant that the man was asleep. Moving carefully, John crawled out of bed and made his way to the doorway, his eyes on Dave the entire time. It was good that Dave could sleep and rest, he'd need his energy for the Hell that John was about to put him through, but there was no other alternative. In the bathroom, John slipped into the sweatpants he had been wearing earlier. His feet ached, but it was a distant pain -- a nuisance more than anything else, and John pushed that nuisance aside as he made his way down the stairs and out of the cottage. He struck out over the property toward the lake, only looking back a few times, his heart heavy at leaving Dave behind and causing even more pain of loss to his parents.
Contented. That was how Luka felt -- though he supposed that an evening of lovemaking would do that to a person. And now, it was early, and the sun had not yet risen. However, Luka was finding it impossible to sleep. Abby was back by his side, and somehow Luka realized that this was the way it was supposed to be.
He gathered the woman into his arms, and planted small kisses along her ear and the side of her face. If he was awake, then he wanted Abby to be awake too. "Good morning, Abby," he said, his voice soft and soothing. "How would you like to join me for a walk out to the lake to see the sun rise?"
"Mmmm," Abby purred as she entered wakefulness courtesy of Luka's lips. "Will there be a surprise when we reach our destination?" The idea of taking along a blanket and making love out by the lake held a lot of appeal for Abby, and with John's feet bothering him, she knew that she and Luka would be out there alone, without the danger of either interrupting Dave and John or being interrupted by them.
"Hmmm...well, I think that I might be convinced of throwing in a surprise or two. Maybe we should look in the kitchen, and see if we can find some things for a picnic breakfast...and, making love as the sun rises over the lake sounds like a very nice way to start the day." He planted another soft kiss on Abby's lips, hoping that she would agree that this would be a good idea.
"It sounds like a wonderful idea," Abby agreed as she lifted her head so she could kiss Luka back. "A very wonderful idea," she whispered just before their lips touched.
He returned the kiss, smiling as their lips parted. "I think, then, that we should go before I decide to give you your surprise right here in this bed," he teased, as he planted a light kiss on the tip of Abby's nose. "Ah, perhaps we should think about putting *some* clothing on, just in case we do happen to run into someone. We wouldn't want to be caught in our...ah...holiday suits?" Luka knew it was something like that. Holiday suits, birthday suits, he honestly couldn't remember what the correct phrase was.
"Birthday suits," Abby playfully corrected. "And, no, I wouldn't want John's grandmother catching us running around her house naked." Abby slipped out of the bed and headed into the bathroom. "Give me five minutes and I'll be ready to go."
Luka watched Abby as she left the bedroom, and then slowly roused out of bed. He reached for a pair of sweatpants that he had haphazardly left there earlier, and slipped them on. Then, he rooted through his drawers for a clean t-shirt. Luka was well aware that he was going to have to pack up soon, but he didn't want to think about it at that moment. This whole morning was about Abby, and reconnecting with her. After getting his clothing on, he sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Abby to reappear.
Abby quickly did what was necessary, including 'borrowing' Luka's toothbrush so her teeth and breath would be clean. Her clothes were still in a heap on the bathroom floor and she dressed, then ran a comb through her hair before heading back into the bedroom. "I'm ready whenever you are, I just need to find my shoes." Considering how frantic the two of them had been to get undressed the night before, Abby wasn't quite sure where her shoes had ended up. "You haven't seen them, have you?"
Luka grinned, and bent down near the foot of the bed, grabbing the pair of shoes in his hands before handing them to her. "Here you go," he said. "Now, if you will just give me one moment in the bathroom, we can go," he said, as he headed into the small room and shut the door behind him.
Only a couple of minutes later, Luka came back out to join his lover. Hair combed, teeth brushed, Luka was ready for another love making session with Abby. "Now, if you're ready, why don't we go? It looks like a nice morning, would you be interested in walking?"
Abby smiled warmly at Luka as she reached out for his hand. "I'm interested in seeing this lake at sunrise. Let's go, nature boy, and don't forget to grab a blanket."
A little while later, they were headed towards the lake. They had found a blanket in Luka's closet, and they had stopped to pack a picnic breakfast in the kitchen for the two of them to share. All in all, they had a very romantic morning cut out for them. The sky was starting to lighten, as the sun was threatening to rise soon. "If we hurry, we'll be at the lake before the sun comes up..."
Abby grinned up at him. "By all means then, let's hurry," she said as she picked up her pace. The idea of making love with Luka as the sun's rays started to hit their bodies was getting her very hot and bothered.
John sat on the damp grass just a few feet from the water's edge. His face was facing east, but he didn't notice the lightening of the sky as the sunrise approached. If things had worked out the way he had planned, then it was a sunrise he shouldn't have been seeing anyway. Everything had started out going according to plan -- he had made it to the lake without anyone, especially Dave, knowing he was gone. He had even made it into the water up to his waist -- and that's when his plan fell apart. First of all, he had realized that dying without leaving some type of note was just plain wrong. He remembered the mental and emotional turmoil he had endured back when Dennis died -- had his friend killed himself or had he died by accident? A note would have settled that issue. If nothing else, it brought some sense of closure to those left behind.
The second thing that stopped John was that he had forgotten that the lake was totally and completely on his family's property. The only people available to find his body were his family and friends, or the staff, and they were the very people he was trying to spare. John had waded out of the water and sat down, knowing he needed to re-think his plan. Could he head in to work and then wander off to Lake Michigan at some point during the day? Or just forget about work and go to take a walk down by the river?
What would he say in his note? Did he just leave one for everyone, or should he write a note to each person in an effort to explain his actions?
Those questions kept John thinking for quite a while, and as dawn approached, he was no closer to the answers than he had been when he first sat down.
Luka was walking at a rather rapid pace, his girlfriend by his side, as they made their way to the lake. They chatted along the way, genuinely happy to be in each other's company. The smile that had been on his face all along grew wider as he spotted the lake. "I think there is a perfect place to set up the blanket...under those trees..." Luka's voice trailed off as he saw a familiar figure sitting on the grass, not far from where he had pointed. "Abby? Is that John?" Luka turned his gaze towards Abby, concern evident in his eyes.
Fear shot through Abby as she looked in the direction where Luka was pointing. "It's him. What's he doing out here?" She looked around, but didn't see any sign of Dave, which made her even more worried. "I think our breakfast is going to have to wait," she said as she pulled Luka forward, intending to get to John as quickly as possible.
There was no question in Luka's mind that John was their first priority, and he quickly followed Abby towards John. He was quite concerned and worried as to why John had wandered so far -- and why Dave was nowhere in sight. As they approached, Luka dropped his grip on Abby's hand, and carefully approached the other man. "John? Is everything all right?"
John shook his head, not even bothering to turn to look at Luka. "No," he finally said, keeping his eyes glued to the horizon. "Nothing's right, Luka. I hurt him and I never wanted to do that."
Abby quietly moved closer as she wondered just how long John had been outside dressed only in sweatpants. He wasn't shivering, yet the morning air did have a nip to it, and in her opinion, John should have been reacting to the cold in some way.
Luka crouched down beside John, and placed a gentle hand on the other man's shoulder. His eyes swept John's body, and he could see even from this vantage point that John should have been feeling quite a bit of pain -- even if he wasn't showing it. Luka surmised that John had walked here from the cottage, without shoes on. While it was not a far walk, for a man with bruised feet, without shoes on, it might as well have been miles. Ignoring John's bloodied feet for the moment, Luka spoke. And when he did so, his voice was probing, but soothing at the same time. "What do you mean? How did you hurt Dave?"
This very statement confused Luka -- because he was quite sure from what he had observed between the two men, there was very little that John could do to Dave at that point that would actually hurt him physically, if indeed, that was what John meant.
John slowly turned his head to look at Luka. "I almost raped him...and I did bruise him. He thinks it's all right...that we'll get through this...but we won't. I can't hurt him again. I won't." John wished that Luka would just go away and leave him alone so he could keep thinking, but even more than that, John wanted to make sure that Luka wasn't added to his list of 'victims'. "Go back to the house and Abby, Luka. It's not safe to be around me."
By then, Abby was to John's other side, and she carefully knelt on the wet grass beside him. Since Luka had carried the picnic basket, she had offered to carry the blanket and now she unfolded it and began to wrap it around John's shoulders. "We don't want you catching a chill out here this morning," she said, making sure that her voice didn't carry any hint of censure or worry. The goal was to comfort John, not to scare him.
Luka's eyes swept over his former lover once more, and then up towards Abby. "Abby," he said, his voice very soft. "Why don't you go and grab the car for us...so we won't have to make the long walk back," he said, as his eyes locked with those of his girlfriend. Luka then reached his hand up, and brought the blanket the rest of the way around John's shoulders as he returned his attention to John. "Why don't you talk to me about it? I'm sure it was not done on purpose, whatever happened..." John was capable of a lot of things, but rape was not one of them. And somehow, Luka knew that Dave would not necessarily agree with what John had said occurred.
Abby nodded. "I'll be right back," she said as she got to her feet, and then took off at a jogging gait. The sooner John was indoors, the better.
John shook his head. "Whether it was on purpose or not doesn't matter, Luka. It doesn't change anything. I love Dave, and I can't stand the thought of ever hurting him again in any way. It's going to be bad enough when..." John let his voice trail off as he thought of how upset Dave would be once John was able to complete his plan.
"It does matter, though, John," Luka said, his voice very soft so that he wouldn't upset him. "And I am sure that Dave loves you, too, which is why he would want to work this out with you..." Luka paused for a moment, realizing that John had not completed his thoughts as he has finished speaking to Luka. "What's going to be bad enough?"
"I can't hurt him again, Luka. I won't. And I won't allow myself to hurt anyone else, either," John said, his voice firm with conviction. "I simply won't."
"Then...let us help you make sure that it won't happen again. I...I think it's silly to say that you won't hurt anyone. We...we all hurt people. Most of the time it's not on purpose," he said, as he kept his voice low. "I think that Dave knew the risks when he decided that it would be worth it to have a relationship with you. That man loves you more than even I thought he was capable of. And I still love you too, in a certain way."
John looked directly into Luka's eyes, knowing one thing above all other things. "I'm not worth it."
Luka found himself hoping that Abby would get back with the car soon. He was sure that Dave was worried about where John had gone off to. And Luka was also still trying to piece together exactly what had happened between the two of them to drive John to leave the cottage.
********************
Dave's eyes popped open, and he wasn't exactly sure why, other than the fact that things in the room seemed *too* quiet. The first thing he noticed was that his arms were not wrapped around his lover. And then as he felt next to the bed, he realized that John wasn't there, and by the fact that the sheets were cold, he hadn't been there for a while. Sitting straight up in bed, Dave looked around the room, adjusting his eyes to the lack of light. No -- John wasn't in the bedroom. Having enough presence of mind to throw on some clothing, Dave grabbed a pair of sweatpants he had haphazardly thrown on the floor, and put them on. And then, he headed out of the bedroom.
"John?" Dave stepped out, and peeked his head into the bathroom. No -- no sign of him in there. The light was on, though, and the door was wide open. Heading downstairs, Dave continued to call John's name. Refusing to panic just yet, and surmising that maybe the man had gone out for a smoke, Dave swung open the front door in time to see Abby breathlessly running towards the cottage.
At this sight, Dave felt fear begin to rise in him. "Abs? What's the matter?"
The events of the evening, after a few hours sleep, seemed like a dull memory save for the bruises on his shoulders that Dave had forgotten to cover with a shirt. All that mattered was making sure John was okay.
Abby was never so glad to see Dave Malucci as she was at that moment. Coming to a stop by his car, she took a moment to get her breath. "It's John. He's down by the lake and his feet...Luka sent me to get a car so we can bring him back." She slumped against the car, her heart quickly beating as much from her fear for John as from the running.
Dave looked at her, his eyes wild with how fearful he was. "J...John's by the lake? How the Hell did he...oh, God..." Thinking quickly, he headed back into the cottage long enough to grab his keys. Without thinking of anything other than his lover, he then darted out of the house. Unlocking the car door, he made sure Abby was inside before driving off towards the lake. "Wh...what happened?"
Abby shook her head as Dave headed down the gravel path to the lake. "I'm not sure. He's pretty out of it, but he said something about hurting you. I don't know how long he's been out there, Dave, but when I wrapped a blanket around him and touched his skin, it was pretty cold. He's not shivering though, or seeming to feel the pain from his feet. He's definitely in some kind of emotional shock."
Dave shook his head. He was completely bewildered, and he likely drove a little more haphazardly than usual. Finally, he spotted John, blanket pulled around his shoulders, with Luka by his side. Feelings of jealousy welled up in him, but they were quickly squashed -- Luka was likely just as upset as Dave was. Stopping the car, he turned towards Abby briefly before bolting out of the car. Ignoring Luka, Dave dropped to his knees next to his lover. "J...John?"
John had heard the approaching car and remembered Luka saying something to Abby about getting one, but he wasn't prepared to suddenly see Dave appear. That was enough of a shock, but when John looked at Dave all he saw were the bruises on his shoulders -- the evidence of John's depravity. He lunged forward onto his knees, desperate to get away from both Dave and Luka before he hurt either one of them -- before he hurt Dave yet again. "Get away from me...get safe..." John loudly said as he found himself trapped with the lake in front of him and Luka and Dave to each side and slightly behind him. He knew then that he should have just kept going into the lake earlier, then it would have all been over by the time Luka and Abby had come strolling along.
"I'm *not* leaving you," Dave said, his eyes darting from John, to Luka, and then back to John again. Luka held up his hand towards Dave, and then spoke, his voice very soft.
"We need to get you inside," Luka remarked, his hand never leaving John's shoulder. "Please...it's very cold out here..."
John shivered, not from the cold, but from knowing what he was capable of doing and the fear that he would hurt his friends -- hurt Dave. He jerked his shoulder away from Luka's touch. "Don't touch me," he hissed. "Just leave me alone." The sun was just now peeking over the horizon, and the first rays from it hit John in the face, causing him to close his eyes against the early glare.
Closing his eyes had been a mistake, John realized, as all he could then see was the replay of him threatening Dave -- hurting Dave. He scrambled to his feet, letting the blanket slip from his shoulders as he was determined to escape into the safe oblivion of the lake. He knew it would have been pointless to try to run and get past Dave and Luka, so that left him with only one alternative, and that was to go forward.
Abby had stayed beside the car after Dave had approached John, thinking that the men could handle him. But as she saw him lunging for the lake, she ran forward. "John, no!"
Dave and Luka both sprung up as John did, but Dave was able to reach his side first. Grabbing him by the waist, he was able to pull John down, but it wasn't until Luka reached him that they were able to completely restrain John. Dave noticed that John's pants were wet - had he already tried to go into the lake? "John, please," Dave said, his voice laced with fear. "Don't...don't do this...please..."
John might have been able to fight off just Dave or Luka, but he couldn't fight off both men -- not that he wanted to, since that would risk him hurting either one. He went limp against the ground, his mind racing to find another way to save Dave from what John knew was a certain future full of nothing but pain. "Don't you understand?" John cried out, "I don't want to hurt you again. Look at all the bad that's happened to you since I fell in love with you, I'm nothing but pain for you, Dave. Nothing."
Dave was truly scared. It was as if he had already lost John, and he didn't know what he was going to do about it. Luka let go of John and looked up towards Abby, maintaining eye contact with her for a long moment before he got to his feet and walked over to her. John was obviously a very, very troubled man, and it saddened him that someone that he cared so deeply about was this upset with life.
Abby wrapped her arms around Luka's waist, needing to comfort him just as much as she needed his comfort. Despite his words, John wasn't fighting against Dave, and Abby thought that was a good sign. God knew they needed some type of good sign that morning.
Dave looked towards John, tears filling his eyes at the other man's words. "You are *so* much more than that. I love you more than I thought I was capable of lovin' *anyone* or *anythin'*, John. Damn it. I promised you that I would stick by you through *everythin'*, and that...that includes this. Yes, it's a rough spot, but damn it...if I'm willin' to try to work through it..." Dave's voice softened, and he reached out to touch John's face. "Please, please don't do this. I...I *can't* live without ya. I...I thought we already established that. I am *far* more miserable without ya, than I am with ya." Dave didn't really care that Abby and Luka were there. He felt like the two of them had already witnessed so much of his personal life, that it was hardly personal anymore. And, if having them there calmed John at *all*, he'd take it.
John began to cry as Dave's words echoed in his ears. "I hurt you," he protested as he looked up into Dave's eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you but it happened. You stopped me this time, but what if there's a next time? I was going to *rape* you, Dave. Do you understand that? That's not me...and I can't be that man, I just can't. And I can't let myself hurt you again."
"We're gonna deal with it *if* it happens. John, the risk of livin' with you is far more appealing than the misery of livin' without you. I *know* that wasn't 'you' last night. I *know* that. We're gonna get you some help, but I'll be damned if I'm not gonna be by your side when it happens..." Dave was overwhelmed with emotion, and he didn't particularly care that there were small tears rolling down his cheeks as he spoke. He *couldn't* lose John.
"And what if I get that help and turn into someone that none of us knows? I don't want to change...I just want to be normal again, like I was before I ever mentioned Jenny to anyone. If only I'd kept my mouth shut..." John knew he could never explain to Dave just how...exposed and raw his soul and heart felt right then. He should have lied about Jenny, never told the truth. She had warned him about that, but he hadn't listened to her, had he? And now look at what had happened.