Author/pseudonym: MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Email address: monaCK2@yahoo.com and huntersglenn@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17
Status: Finished. Well, mostly finished. Just the ending left to write.
Pairing: John Carter/Dave Malucci
Date: March 26, 2004
Archive: Please ask first
Series: 48/?
Category: "E.R."
Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure. The title of the story was inspired by the Jimmy Buffett song of the same name, and no infringement is intended. The story can be found on the following web sites: http://www.heresmona.com/fanfic.html
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Boutique/7087/, and
http://www.errealmofslash.com
Summary: It's a slashy A/U story about how Season 8 might have been and contains no spoilers for the current season.
"Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes, Part 48"
By MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Tears had begun to gather in Abby's eyes while Dave was speaking, and the despair in John's voice made them spill over. "Luka?" she whispered, "Didn't you say something last night about John talking to a psychiatrist yesterday? We should call him out here after we get John inside." Someone needed to be making plans to help John, and not just stand out there in the woods while John's world continued to fall apart on him.
Luka forced himself to turn away, and focusing his attention on Abby, he nodded. "Yes, Doctor DiLeo. I...I think we need to call over to the house. Maybe if one of us wants to walk back over to the cottage to call? Unless you have your cellular phone on you, I didn't think to bring mine..." Luka still couldn't believe that this was happening.
"Let's get John back to the cottage first and then we'll get this Dr. DiLeo. It's so early he's probably not even up yet," Abby said as she pulled away from Luka, then started to walk over to John and Dave, coming to a stop a short distance away. "John, how about we all just go back now? You and Dave can talk in the cottage while Luka and I take care of the cuts on your feet, okay?" If he had been in the water with those cuts, then John was running a risk of infection and the longer they remained unattended, the greater that risk became.
Dave was about to speak, to reassure John that telling the truth had been the right thing, when he heard Abby's voice. He then nodded, in agreement, and then moved to help John up from the ground. Turning towards Abby, he threw her his car keys. "Would ya mind drivin'? I wanna sit in back with John..."
John had no choice but to let Dave help him get to his feet. Abby had said something about them being cut, but they didn't hurt, and John found it a bit strange that they had hurt so badly for the past few days and were now fine. Without waiting for Dave, John began to walk back along the path, back to the cottage where he could just curl up under the covers and do his best to pretend that everything was going to be all right.
Abby, thinking that John was heading for the car, quickly walked in that direction and got in behind the wheel, wishing that Dave or Luka would just scoop John up and carry him to the car to save time as well as more wear and tear on his feet.
Dave quickly followed John, his hand touching his shoulder to try to force him to turn around. "We...we have the car here. Wouldn't ya like to ride?" His brow was raised, and his voice was inquisitive. Dave was trying *very* hard to not let his emotions get the best of him. "Please?" Dave was prepared to lift John up if he had to in order to put him into the car. John's feet were a mess, but he didn't seem to be affected by it, which was a sure sign of emotional shock.
Luka was not far behind either man, willing to assist if necessary, but not wanting to get in the way.
John looked from Dave to the car. It was such a short distance back to the cottage, and, despite not getting much sleep the night before, John didn't feel as if the walk was beyond him. "I'm not tired," he replied and then thought that perhaps Dave didn't trust him to actually end up at the cottage. "You can walk with me if you like, to make sure I really go there. I won't mind."
"I...I believe that you're gonna go there," Dave said, as he maintained eye contact with John. "But...I'm jus' afraid that your feet are gonna get more messed up from the walk. They're still pretty messed up, John. I...I jus' don't wanna see them get worse..." He wanted to try to prove to John that he trusted him, and that he loved him -- and that there wouldn't be a 'next time' because they were going to get John the help that he needed. But Dave couldn't find the words to say all of that. Once again, Dave took some security in the fact that John was not walking completely away.
John was tempted to argue with Dave that his feet felt fine, but there was an odd look in Dave's eyes, one that John hadn't seen before, and that look made him slowly nod instead. "Okay. We can all take the car." He walked over to the open door on the passenger side and got into the back seat. The vinyl upholstery was cool against the bare skin of his back, and John finally began to feel cold. He wrapped his arms around himself as he waited for Dave and Luka -- the comfort of bed was even more enticing.
Dave let out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding as John began to walk towards his car, and Dave quickly followed, getting into the other side of the back seat so he could be next to John. Luka had already situated himself in the front seat once he realized that John *was* going to join them in the car. "We're all in," Dave said, as he put his arm around John's shoulders. "Let's go."
Abby nodded and turned the key in the ignition, then carefully drove back to the cottage. The last thing she wanted was for them to get a flat tire from driving over something. Slowly and surely was definitely better than hastily and broken down.
John snuggled up against Dave's body, seeking warmth as his shivering increased. "Can Abby turn on the heat?" he asked, his voice shaky from the cold as well.
Abby looked down at the temperature gage as John asked about the heat -- the engine wasn't warm enough for that. "We'll only get cold air if I turn it on. We're almost there, John, and then we can wrap you up in some blankets and get you something warm to drink." After chiding herself for forgetting to grab the blanket that John had pushed off, Abby found herself hoping that Dave had hot chocolate mix or something similar around since John would benefit from both the heat of the drink and it's sweetness.
Dave swallowed, his arms going completely around John's body as the man moved closer to him. "Abby's right. We'll get ya all set up on the couch downstairs...nice and comfy. We...can chat, and Luka can change the dressin' on your feet," Dave said, as he brought his eyes up to look at Luka, who was looking back at them.
Luka nodded. "Yes, and then maybe Abby can make us some coffee or something, if she doesn't mind..."
"I'll put some on right after I make something for John," Abby replied as she neared the end of the pathway. The parking area for the cottage was just up ahead and the ground was rather firm underneath the tires, so Abby increased the speed of the car for the last bit of distance. It was with a great deal of relief that she cut off the ignition, then got out of the car and went to open the front door for John.
Dave was hesitant to move. Obviously, there was still a great amount of... trust there for John to be leaning on him, even when he was not doing so well emotionally. "We're home," Dave said, planting a soft kiss on the top of John's head. "Can...can I help ya get inside...?"
Luka left Dave to take care of John, knowing that Dave would let them know if he needed help, and instead decided to go and meet Abby so he could help let John into the house.
John nodded, then reluctantly moved away from Dave's body, leaving the warmth and safety he had found there. How could he have ever hurt Dave? The man had made him feel nothing but safe and John had betrayed that with his violence. He slid across the seat and opened the door, then stepped out onto the paved area. "You coming?" he asked Dave, knowing it was a lame thing to say but needing to say 'something' that might be considered normal.
Abby looked up at Luka. "Why don't you hold the door open while I run upstairs to grab some blankets and pillows for John?"
Luka, listening to Abby's instructions, and grateful for something to do, nodded and held the front door open while Dave got out of the car to meet John by his side. He put a comforting arm on John's shoulder as he led the other man towards the house. "It...it really is gonna be okay, John. Ya...ya have to trust me...that I'm gonna make sure it's okay..." Bottom line was, it *had* to be okay. Dave simply couldn't accept the alternative.
John stopped walking as a sudden need overcame him. His eyes wondering, he turned to face Dave. "Would you do something for me?"
Dave stopped in concert with John, he was so in step with John's movements. "Anything. What do you want me to do?"
God, he felt like such a baby, but John desperately wanted his mother. He needed her there even more than he needed the security that Dave offered. "I want my mother, but I don't know if she'll come over here. Would you ask her for me? Please?" There were fresh tears in John's eyes as he worried that Eleanor would refuse to come to the cottage just because he was with Dave.
Dave nodded. "Of course I'll call your mom for you. I'll run over there to the house myself and get her for you if I have to..." Anything to make John happy. *Anything*. "But for now...can I get ya back inside? Maybe get ya into some dry clothes, and some warm food in your body?" Despite what had happened the night before, the need to take care of John nearly overwhelmed him. Dave brought his thumb up to the side of John's face, and wiped a stray tear from his cheek. "I promise ya, this is all gonna work out..."
"I'm cold, not hungry," John said as he leaned in towards Dave touch, slightly depressed that Dave wouldn't go right then to get his mother. He figured it was just as well since she probably wouldn't come anyway.
Dave nodded. "I know. You don't eat when you're upset, but how 'bout some coffee? Can I interest ya in some coffee? Maybe some hot cocoa? Just somethin' to warm your belly...then I'll go get your Mom. I promise." Dave began to walk towards the cottage, hoping that John would come with him. Dave didn't want to force John into doing anything, but when the man was in this kind of state of mind, it was hard for Dave to know just what John *would* do.
John followed Dave through the open door and into the cottage. Abby was coming down the stairs, her arms loaded with blankets and pillows, and he could hear Luka closing the door behind him.
"Just one second and we'll be on the way to getting you nice and toasty warm," she said as she dropped the pile to the floor beside the couch. "These are nice blankets, but what I wouldn't give for a warming blanket right now..." she said as she began to spread a blanket over the overstuffed cushions. The living room area of the cottage had a huge sectional sofa, and Abby was certain that John's long body would easily fit on the section she was preparing. A few tucks and smoothing of the blanket and it was ready for John to lie down on. Abby fluffed up two pillows and put them at the end, then motioned to John as she produced a sweatshirt and sweatpants from the pile. "Come on and change, then you can lie down."
John blindly obeyed Abby, his desire for warmth outweighing his dislike for being coddled. He didn't even care that she was in the room as he stepped out of his damp and clingy sweatpants before reaching for the dry ones she held. Abby had seen him naked before, ages ago, so it made no difference to John right then if she saw him naked again.
Dave watched John get changed, and instructed Luka quietly as to where his medical supplies were. As Luka headed up the stairs, Dave continued to observe John, wishing there was something that he could personally do to make everything better again. In a way, there was. If Dave could convince John's mother to come over...
"John," Dave said, his voice soft and soothing. "I'm gonna call over to the mansion now, and see about gettin' your mom over here, okay?"
Sweatshirt in hand, John turned to look at Dave. "Thank you," he softly replied, sending a small smile Dave's way.
"Here," Abby took the sweatshirt back. "Sit down and I'll help you get into this, then we'll get you under the blankets." She didn't want John on his feet any longer than necessary.
John slowly broke eye contact with Dave, then he turned back to face Abby as he sat down on the couch.
Seeing that Abby had everything pretty well under control, Dave left to go into the kitchen to place his phone call. Meanwhile, Luka was coming downstairs with both Dave's medical bag and a basin of warm water with a wash cloth and towel slung over his shoulder. He was hoping that he had all the supplies he needed to treat John, but boy did it look like John had done a pretty raw job on his feet. Standing by the couch, near Abby, he turned to face the two of them. "Are you ready to have your feet looked at, John?"
As he reclined back against the pillows, John shrugged. "Guess so. They don't hurt, honest." He grasped at the blanket that Abby spread out over him, doing his best to ignore the way she tucked it in close against his body, although she did leave his feet uncovered. "Should I get on my stomach?" John asked. "It might be easier for you to reach the bottom of my feet that way."
Another, lighter blanket followed the first one, and as John huddled under them, he could tell that his shivers were easing.
"If you don't need me for this then I'm going to go on and get some hot chocolate made for John and some coffee for the rest of us," Abby said to Luka.
Luka nodded towards Abby. "I think some hot chocolate and coffee would be a very good idea," he said, as a small smile crossed his lips. And then, the tall man focused his attention back on John. "I think you're just fine the way that you are. I can rest your feet on the arm of the couch while I'm dressing them..." Luka had no doubt that John wasn't feeling any pain. He was likely still in shock.
Abby saw John nodding as she headed into the kitchen where she did her best to ignore Dave's phone conversation while she searched the cabinets for either a can of cocoa or a box of hot chocolate mix. She finally found a box of Swiss Miss, then filled a mug with hot water and stuck it in the microwave to come to a boil while she got the coffee maker going.
After Abby left, Luka set to work. First, he tucked the blankets around John a little bit closer, to make sure he fully benefited from the warmth that they provided. Then, satisfied that John would remain warm, Luka moved towards the arm of the sofa to take a look at John's feet. The sight was enough to make him wince, but Luka kept control of his face, knowing that seeing him wince would worry John. So instead, Luka remained stoic as he began to move the dirty dressings from John's feet. They really were a bloody mess, and Luka was surprised that even with being in shock, that John didn't feel *anything* from them. "You are likely going to have to stay off your feet for a while," Luka found himself saying as he applied some warm, soapy water to the wounds to try to clean them out.
John shrugged. "Dave will like that since he didn't want me going to work. Shit!" He shook his head and sat up. "I need to call in, let them know I won't be there today. Kerry's going to have my head."
"You can call in after we finish with your feet, okay? You *can't* go in like this," Luka emphasized, as he switched to gently drying the cuts. "I'm sure that Kerry will understand..." There was not much that she could do about it, he thought. "Today is supposed to be my day off," Luka found himself saying. "I'll go in your place, and then Kerry can't complain about not having coverage..."
John shook his head. "I can't ask you to do that, Luka. You're supposed to move in with Abby...don't let me ruin things." Stretching, John reached down and gently touched Luka's arm. "Please?" It just wasn't right for Luka to give up his day off because he was an idiot. It wasn't right at all.
"Friends do things for each other," Luka said, as he moved onto applying the antibiotic to John's red and sore feet. "When you're feeling better, then you will trade a day off with me. I can move tonight after I get off of work. Hey, I don't think that you're kicking me out, right? So if it takes a few more days for me to move my stuff over, then so be it." Luka took care to make sure that John's feet were well covered, hoping that it would be enough to ward off further infection. And then, he began to put the clean, dry bandages on.
John shook his head again. "You're not being kicked out, please don't think that. And I promise to work a shift or two for you." Once again, he managed a small smile, this one for Luka. John was about to lie back down when he saw Dave walking over to him.
Dave, in the meanwhile, had finished his conversation with John's grandmother. The woman had assured him that she would convince Eleanor to come over, and John had to count on that. Dave could have gone to the mansion himself, but that would have meant more time away from John, and he simply didn't want to risk that. There was a small smile on his face as he made his way back out to the living room. "Your Mom's gonna be here soon," he said, hoping and praying that that was indeed the truth.
"Thank you for calling," John replied, and the smile he gave Dave that time was a little bigger than before. "I guess they're probably calling Dr. DiLeo, too, right?"
Abby followed Dave out of the kitchen, a mug of hot chocolate in her hand. "The coffee's almost ready." She knelt down by the couch and extended the mug toward John. "It's hot, so be careful," she warned.
Dave turned towards Abby with a nod. "Thanks, Abs. I appreciate it," he said, and with a soft smile, he turned back towards Dave. "Yeah...your Grandmother mentioned somethin' about givin' Dr. DiLeo a call. I mean...you can talk to him, so that's a good thing...." Dave was hoping that if John wouldn't open up to him, he would at the very least open up to his therapist. "And you know I'd do anythin' for ya..." Dave just hoped that John's grandmother would be able to convince his mother to come over. It wasn't like his mother was the most *open* woman in the world, and it wouldn't surprise Dave if she avoided the situation completely.
John took the mug from Abby, murmuring his thanks as she got to her feet and then headed back to the kitchen. Listening to Dave, John found his eyes drawn once more to the bruises he had created upon the man.
"You shouldn't have to do anything for me, Dave. Especially when the result is that you end up bruised. No one should go to that extreme," John softly said.
Luka realized that this conversation was about to get quite personal, and despite the fact that Luka was curious as to what was going to be said between the two men, it was not his place to stay and listen. "I'm going to go help Abby in the kitchen," he said, as he retreated hastily from the room.
Dave nodded towards Luka, and then brought his full attention back towards John. Moving to sit down on the couch next to the man he loved, he brought his hand up to John's face, wiping a stray hair off of his forehead. "No...I'm not gonna say that that was a lot of fun, cause it wasn't. But, I *know* you didn't do it on purpose, John, which is why I wanna have ya talk to Dr. DiLeo. There's obviously a lot more about what happened between you and Jenny that you need to work out. And, I'm...I'm glad ya told me, John. Ya wanna know why? Because this likely woulda happened anyway, and at least this way I *understand* why it happened. We're...we're gonna get you through this..." Tears filled Dave's eyes as he looked at the broken man sitting next to him, and Dave felt awful that it had to be that way at all. Dave knew it wasn't his fault, but the younger man was experiencing some pretty bad flashbacks of his own while John was in the throes of horrible memories, and that scared Dave more than the act itself had.
John considered all that Dave had said, but one thing still seemed clear to him. "You're wrong, Dave. If I had never told anyone, then this wouldn't have ever happened. It was doing all that remembering...all the thinking and talking about it, that brought it to the surface, I think. We could have been so happy together and now you're faced with having someone like me hanging around your neck. You shouldn't love me if it's just going to make you miserable. No love is worth that." John looked away from Dave, and, having nothing else to do with his hands, he lifted the mug to his lips and took a few sips. Even though he wasn't hungry, the drink was hot and it tasted good. And drinking it kept John's attention diverted from Dave.
"We still *can* be happy together," Dave protested, as he moved his hand to John's shoulder. "We still *can*. Rememberin'...you were rememberin' even before you wanted to remember. Back when we were on that cruise was the first time you had a flashback, and it scared the Hell outta me because I really didn't know what was goin' on. Now...now, at least I understand, and I can deal with it better. I...I think we both have a lot of demons, and, okay...John, let me put it to you this way. Suppose this was reversed? What if it was *me* dealin' with all this stuff? What would you do if *I* tried to push *you* away? You'd be doin' the exact same thing that I'm doin' here, trying to convince me that I was wrong for wantin' to go through this alone...that we love each other, and bein' as we've already gone to Hell and back...well, what's another side trip or two along the way?"
Dave was right. John would never turn his back on him. "I'd never let you get away from me, but that's just the way I am. The truth is, you're the only person who's ever even said anything about staying around when things are rough. Everyone else has run away even before anything ugly happened." John took a long sip of the hot chocolate, but he still wouldn't look at Dave. "I guess there's a part of me that's still expecting you to run away. Maybe I just want you to go before you reach that point on your own, I don't know." He finally looked into Dave's eyes. "I just know that it upsets me that I hurt you, and I never want to hurt you again."
Dave's eyes locked with John's. "I'm not runnin', not ever again. I think that last night was probably the worst that it's ever been for us, and I'm not runnin'. The...the difference between you and other times, specifically with my old man, is you...you know that it was wrong, and you're willin' to try to fix it. I...I can accept that, and I can live with that. I *know* that wasn't you last night, John. I *know* what the real John Carter is like, and I love that man so much that it overwhelms me sometimes..." Dave reached out his hand once more, and gently stroked the side of John's face. "I promise ya, I'm not goin' anywhere..."
John pushed his face against Dave's hand. "I believe you," he softly said, and he meant it. "I love you."
Dave felt tears well up in his eyes, as he brought his left hand up to John's other cheek. And very gently, he leaned in and planted a soft kiss on John's lips. "I love ya, too," he said, as their lips parted. "And that's forever..."
Dave's thoughts and words were interrupted by a knock on the door. "I'll bet that's your mom," he said, as he drew away from John once more. "Why don't I go get that, and you can have some more of your hot cocoa, okay?"
John nodded, and then lifted the mug so he could take another sip or two. He hoped it was his mother, and not someone sent to tell them that she wasn't coming over after all.
Outside the cottage, Jack and Eleanor were in the middle of an argument. All the way across the lawn, they had been bickering on what the next step should be. Eleanor didn't quite understand what the problem was. It was obvious to her that John needed help. He was sick, very, very sick, and he needed to be somewhere where he could be well again. She just had to convince Jack of that...
"I really don't know what we're facing in there," Eleanor said, as she put her hand onto the door handle of the cottage. "But we'd better find out quickly, so we can make the proper arrangements. And there's no use arguing with me about it, Jack. My mind is made up..."
Jack reached out and gently grasped Eleanor's wrist. "We're not deciding anything until Dr. DiLeo sees John, and I don't want you upsetting him any by mentioning 'arrangements' of any kind, is that understood?" he firmly asked. Lord, but it had been ages since had spoken that firmly to his wife. It felt good, really good. "And you're not just going to walk into the cottage. This is Dave's home now." Jack reached out with his other hand and knocked on the door. "Please remember that you 'do' have manners, Eleanor."
Eleanor cast Jack a cold, icy glare. "Let go of my wrist, Jack," she said, trying very hard to keep her anger carefully controlled. "He is my son, and I will say what I want, when I want. As for this being Dave's home, that's only because your mother obviously doesn't know what that man has done to our son. Did you ever hear of John having such problems before the two of them....became friends? It's obvious to me that..."
Just then, the door swung open. And Eleanor was standing face to face with Dave, who was not very amused. He had heard a bit of what Mrs. Carter had said to John's father, and he was none too happy about it. However, he wisely chose not to say anything at all. Getting into an argument with her would likely only add to John's stress level. And Dave had just gotten John to agree to stay. He didn't want to do anything to fuck that up.
"Mrs. Carter," Dave found himself saying. "Thanks for comin' right over...and you too, Mr. Carter."
"I called Dr. DiLeo," Jack informed Dave, making sure he kept his voice low. He could see John on the couch and didn't want to be overheard by his son. "He's got a few patients that he has to see this morning and then he'll be over here. He said we can expect him around noon, and that if John's alive and mostly unharmed then that's a good sign and not to worry too much."
Dave nodded, and motioned with his head for Mr. Carter to follow him to a spot a little further away from John. "That's good. Uh, yeah, it was pretty bad...but things are a little bit better. He...he really wanted to see his mom. I think what she did yesterday, walkin' out of the kitchen when she realized that John and I were together, it...it didn't help much. He...he was afraid that she wasn't gonna come over today..." Dave's voice trailed off, as he watched Eleanor approach John, and he found himself hoping that seeing his mother would make things a lot better for John.
"John? Oh, you had us worried..." A smile with very little emotion behind it crossed Eleanor's lips. Her son looked absolutely pathetic. So little like the man that he should be. And there was no *doubt* in her mind that that Dave fellow was what caused this. The situation the previous day was all but forgotten to her, especially since Jenny was untouchable. However, Dave was someone that she could punish for this now...
John swallowed hard as he looked up at his mother. She was smiling at him, but she wasn't really there. It was if the breakthrough they had had back when she was helping out a boy who'd been strickened leukemia had been lost. It had obviously been a mistake for him to have even imagined that he would get any comfort from the woman who called herself his 'mother'. Eleanor Carter had never known the meaning of the word.
"I doubt it," he caustically replied. "You never worry. I guess you find it safer emotionally that way, don't you?" It was pathetic the way he kept setting himself up to be hurt by her.
"How could you say that?" Eleanor really was surprised. Of *course* she was worried. He was her son -- her emotionally frail son who needed to be taken care of. "I...I was very worried, and I'm still worried now," she said, her voice very soft. "We...we need to find a way to take care of you...to make sure this never happens again..." It was fully obvious to Eleanor now that there was no choice but to have John committed, and safely away from Dave Malucci and his perversions.
Jack, angered that Eleanor would even think of talking about that after he had warned her not to, was about to interrupt when John spoke up.
"We? How does this become a 'we' problem, Mom?" John sat up straight, feeling angry that Eleanor seemed to think she could just waltz right on in and take over his life. "This is my problem, and Dave's. It's not any of your concern. You gave up the right to be concerned about me when you let Jenny walk into my room to rape me night after night." John got to his feet, his hand wrapped tightly around the mug of hot chocolate, and loomed over his mother. "That's what it was, Mom. Rape. If I said no, she did it anyway. And where were you? Just where the fucking Hell were you? Hiding, that's where. You couldn't handle the thought that Bobby was dying, so you hid yourself away. You and Dad. You should have seen that something was wrong, but you didn't. Damn you, you didn't!"
Inwardly, Eleanor bristled. But outwardly, her face showed no signs of changing emotions. However, when she finally spoke, her voice took on a very even tone. "I'm sorry you feel this way. We didn't know. Neither your father or I knew what was going on. Or actually, your father did. But he never told me. I never knew until yesterday, John. I know you've been through a lot, but I will *not* tolerate being spoken to like this."
Eleanor then turned around, and glared at Dave. "This is all *your* fault," she said, finally letting some anger out in her tone of voice. "If it weren't for you, none of this would have happened. You've been having...gay sex with my son...and that's why he's so emotionally bruised now..."
Dave stood there, mouth agape as he listened to John's mother throw insult after insult at him after he had watched her attack John. "Who the *Hell* do you think you are? You come waltzing in here..." Dave was losing it, and he knew it, and there was nothing he could do. This woman, despite the fact that she had given birth to John, was not exactly acting like a mother.
"I don't know why in the Hell I ever expected that my own mother would give me comfort," John said, his voice barely concealing his rage. He had been the one to hurt Dave, and there she was, acting as if Dave was to blame for what Jenny had done. "You're not wanted here after all. Get out and don't come back. I can assure you that I won't make the mistake of asking for you again. I guess I had thought that after Mickey, you had changed, but I was wrong. You're still the same cold-hearted bitch you've always been."
A part of Jack wanted to cheer at John's words, but a stronger part of him was saddened that John felt that way about Eleanor. It wasn't that the woman hadn't done all she could to deserve that kind of resentment, but it was still sad that a child would feel that way about his mother. "Eleanor, maybe you should go back to the house? I can stay here." Jack didn't want John becoming even further upset and it was apparent that upsetting John was about all Eleanor was good for right then.
Eleanor's back straightened. After being cursed at by her son, she didn't need to hear this from her husband as well. But then, she realized it again -- John was sick. Very, very sick. And that was obvious by the horrible things that he was saying about his own mother. Not wanting her around...why once John had begged for her to come to him, and now he was throwing her out? No. She wasn't going to allow it. She was about to open her mouth to protest, when something in both Dave and Jack's expression told her that that wasn't a good idea. "Yes...yes, you're absolutely correct," Eleanor finally found herself saying. "I do need to go to the house. I have some arrangements I need to make."
And with her head held high, she finally exited the small cottage, absolutely confident that everything she was doing was in the best interest of her son.