Author/pseudonym: MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Email address: monaCK2@yahoo.com and huntersglenn@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17
Status: Finished
Pairing: John Carter/Dave Malucci
Date: March 1, 2004
Archive: Please ask first
Series: 42/?
Category: "E.R."
Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure. The title of the story was inspired by the Jimmy Buffett song of the same name, and no infringement is intended. The story can be found on the following web sites: http://www.heresmona.com/fanfic.html
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Boutique/7087/, and
http://www.errealmofslash.com
Summary: It's a slashy A/U story about how Season 8 might have been and contains no spoilers for the current season.
"Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes, Part 42"
By MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
John quickly shook his head, not wanting Dave to continue thinking that he had done something wrong. "No, it's nothing like that, Dave. I think that Gamma likes you, which is good since we're together. It's just that if you're with me, then you really can't be her doctor. It just wouldn't be right. If something happened to her, then the rest of my family would be all over you, claiming that you...well, let's just say that I don't trust my family to believe that you'd do everything in your power to save Gamma. I know how good you are, and so does Gamma, and knowing her, she'll try to keep you on as her private, in-house doctor. But we both know that it wouldn't really be right."
Dave let John's words sink into his head, before he responded to them. "I hear what your sayin'," he finally said after a moment's silence. "I...yeah, I guess your Gamma is gonna haveta find a new physician. I don't wanna cause problems for your family, any more then the lot of 'em findin' out that I've turned into *your* personal physician in more ways then one," he said with a lopsided grin. "I can't think of a better reason to haveta lose my job if I gain you in the process..."
As Dave looked at John, his mind was reeling. What *was* he going to do? Dave's pride wouldn't let him be a kept man. Dave was a doctor -- and he knew that if he sat at home for very long he was going to go insane. And speaking of homes..."Uh...John, I guess I gotta find an apartment then..."
John frowned slightly. "I thought you wanted to spend all your nights with me?" he blurted out. He had thought that Dave would stay right where he was, either in the guest cottage or move into John's bedroom with him. It had never occurred to him that Dave would want to move out and leave him behind. He looked away, thinking he had been more than stupid to have ever believed that Dave would want to be with him all the time.
Dave looked over to John quickly. "No...no! I...I do. I...I was just thinkin' that if I was no longer your Grandmother's doctor, then I'm going to have to give up the cottage...won't I? I...I was thinkin' that whatever apartment I found would include you in its residency. I...there's no way that I'm gonna live without you, John...that's no longer even close to an option..."
The relief John felt at hearing that was dampened by Dave's belief that John would move out. "I can't leave her, Dave. I just can't. Gamma's done so much for me and even though I know there's no way I can ever repay her, I just can't leave her here alone. I'm also not so sure that I can handle moving right now." John shook his head as he thought about all the hassles that went along with moving -- changing your address, buying furniture, moving it in, getting used to a new place. His grandmother's house had become his home, and he really didn't want to leave it. "Can you at least try living here for a while? I'm sure Gamma would let us have the cottage, or else you could get your own room here in the house or stay with me." He looked pleadingly at Dave. "Would it be all that bad to stay?"
"I honestly hadn't really thought about livin' here bein' an option," Dave said, as he looked over towards John. "I...I'm sorry for scarin' ya, really. Of course we can try to work somethin' out with stayin' here...or the cottage, but...uh, is Luka gonna still be livin' next door?" It was a question that *had* to be asked, as much as Dave hated to do it. But John having come to terms with who he wanted to be with meant that Luka was no longer in the picture, and if that was the case, then the man should really be shown the door. However, Dave was determined to not pressure John into doing anything that he wasn't ready to do.
"I don't know," John mumbled. "He was staying here until he could find a new place to live because his apartment building was sold. Gamma had said he could stay here as long as he liked..." John looked away from Dave as he thought about how he still had to tell Luka about his decision. That wasn't going to be easy. It was never easy to give people bad news, and John had no idea how Luka would react. "It would be a lot easier if I could know for sure that Luka would be happy. I can't help caring about him, Dave, and I don't like the thought of him being upset and hurt," John admitted.
Dave reached out his hand, softly running his fingers through John's hair. "I know you care, and it's okay. It's part of what I love about you...your seemingly endless ability to just...care so much about people. Of course you shouldn't throw Luka out, and, as for the rest of it, I think that Luka just want ya to be happy. I mean, I obviously care about ya too, and if for some reason you had made the *wrong* decision and decided to stay with Luka, I...I woulda been upset...but happy at the same time cause ya finally decided what you wanted. I think if Luka's a reasonable man, he'll react the same way."
Dave knew even as he was saying the words that they were bullshit. Dave would have been devastated if the decision had been reversed. The difference was, based on the man's actions earlier in the day, Dave wasn't sure that Luka had feelings for John that ran as deep as Dave's did. In fact, he was almost sure of it -- but Dave would never say that to John.
John slowly nodded, then managed a small smile. "I guess I should get dressed and go look for him. Might as well get this over with. We should probably have dinner, too. I'm sure Corrine's been busy..." John's voice trailed off as he vaguely remembered Corrine being in the study when Jenny was there. He closed his eyes and groaned softly. "Oh, God, she knows, doesn't she?"
Dave looked at John intently as he spoke. And when he mentioned Corrine, Dave felt himself cringe. "Yeah, yeah, she...she knows. Everyone knows what happened...but ya haveta know that no one blames you for this. You know that right? No one is lookin' down on you at all..." Dave hoped that saying these things was the right thing to do. The last thing that Dave wanted to do was send John into a flashback, or into another fit of depression. While Dave was quite sure he could handle just about any challenge they came across, he was *not* sure that he could handle another breakdown in the same day.
"I know...it's just...hard. One of the hardest things when I first had visitors after the stabbing was knowing that some of them had treated me, stripped me naked, even. And I feel that way now. Like I've been stripped naked in front of everyone who was in that room." John opened his eyes, then scooted to the other side of the bed and out from under the covers. He needed to use the toilet, and hoped that he could handle the short walk from that side of the bed to the bathroom.
Dave watched with wide eyes as John left his side, feeling guilty that he had been part of the reason that John was feeling as vulnerable as he did, even though Dave knew it *was* the right thing to do. "I...uh, are you okay, John? I mean, ya kinda got up quickly," he quipped as he moved into a sitting position.
"Yeah, I just have to use the bathroom, that's all." John tentatively put his feet on the floor and braced his hands on the bed. "Well, here goes nothing." He was no sooner fully on his feet than he found himself sitting back down due to the pressure and soreness. "Damn, I had hoped they'd be better by now. At this rate, I won't be able to go into work tomorrow. Damn." John hated feeling helpless and not being able to do what he wanted, when he wanted, really sucked.
Dave frowned, and was immediately out of the bed, and back by John's side, reaching down so that John could support himself against him. "Maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea for ya to go in tomorrow anyway. I mean, it's been a long day today, and, uh...dontcha need to help your new roommate get used to his new surroundings?" he said, a playful smile on his lips. His smile turned softer as he cocked his head to the side. "C'mon, Hoss. Lemme help you."
John heard what Dave was saying, but he couldn't help wanting to feel 'normal'. Going to work as scheduled was normal, even if he had had one Hell of a day. One way or another, he'd find a way to get to work, even if he had to find his crutches and depend on them for the day.
John forced himself to smile at Dave as he wrapped an arm around those strong shoulders and they headed into the bathroom. "So you want to move into my room? You don't want me to move out to the cottage with you?" John's smile turned real and playful as he observed, "My bed isn't as good as yours for playing."
Dave shook his head and laughed. "Well, of course it would be best if you could move out to the cottage with me, but I don't wanna assume that I can still stay there if I'm not workin' here anymore. I mean, I jus' don't wanna assume anything, ya know?"
As he walked into the bathroom with John, Dave led him over towards the toilet. "Call me when you're done, and I'll help ya back to bed, okay?" Dave grinned and planted a soft kiss on the other man's lips, and then turned to head back towards the bathroom door.
John scowled at Dave's retreating back. He didn't 'want' to get back in bed. He wanted to get dressed so he could go downstairs, grab a bite to eat, find Luka and get that difficult task over with. As soon as Dave was out of the bathroom, John tended to business. He managed to hobble over to the sink so he could wash his hands, and that small victory made him determined to get back to the bedroom under his own power.
Moving slowly, and with his teeth clenched tightly against the throbbing pain, John made his way to the door, grateful that Dave hadn't closed it all the way. John gripped the knob hard as he walked through the doorway, needing that extra support but not wanting to admit it. The bed was just in front of him, and John knew that a few more steps would see him to the bed and a relief from the pain he was feeling. But getting back in bed didn't get him dressed and downstairs.
John let go of the doorknob and began to slowly make his way to his chest of drawers.
Dave had been sitting on the edge of the bed, thinking things over in his mind while John was taking care of business. What was he going to do for a job? Dave was a doctor, it was all he knew how to do. And Dave didn't know how long he was going to be able to cope with being out of work. Dave hated relying on others for basic needs -- he wanted to be able to provide for himself. Maybe...maybe he should consider getting a job at County -- not necessarily in the ER, but one of the other departments there. Maybe plastics, or even as a general practice MD or something. There had to be *something* that he could do...
He was just thinking about the possibilities when he heard the sink run. Dave stood, thinking that John would surely call for him soon, and was surprised when it didn't happen. And his eyes widened as he watched John open the door, and then with an expression of determination combined with raw pain on his face, the man began to walk towards his dresser.
"Hey...hey," Dave said, walking behind John. "Can I help ya? C'mon, don't be a hero...your feet are still a mess, and you're gonna end up doin' more damage to them if ya don't rest off of 'em..."
John stopped and looked at Dave. The concern was still there, and that made John rethink his plan to do everything himself. "Yeah, you can help me. I need a shirt and pants. Sweats will do and they're in the second drawer from the bottom. And some socks, too. I've got some slippers shoved in the back of the closet, some really ugly soft ones that someone gave me for Christmas and I swore I'd never wear them, but I think they'll do for now." John turned to head for the nearest seat, which was the small sofa at the foot of his bed.
Dave nodded, taking careful note of where everything was that John had indicated. Soon he had a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt, and after much searching, the fuzzy slippers. He brought his finds over towards John, with a half smile. "I'm not usedta seein' ya in pajamas," he quipped, as he set the articles down on the sofa next to John. "They have a certain charm all their own, but I am lookin' forward to seeing ya in your regular clothes again. So, uh, can I help ya get undressed...?"
John's lips turned up in a smile. "Since you prefer me to be naked when we're in bed together, does that mean that you consider my birthday suit to be regular clothes?" John asked as he began to unbutton his shirt. He felt it was safer to ignore Dave's question because if Dave started to undress him then John didn't think they'd ever make it out of the bedroom and he *was* hungry.
Dave rose a brow. "Oh, absolutely," he said, as he reached for John's t-shirt. As tempting as it was to try to seduce John -- to get him to ignore the rumbles of his stomach, and concentrate in on a different hunger instead -- Dave knew that would be wrong on *so* many levels. So instead, Dave stood silently by in case John wanted or needed his help, but didn't press the issue of actually touching the other man. Dave did not want to do anything to upset John, or make him feel uncomfortable.
"I thought so," John replied. He tossed his pajama top on the bed and held out his hand for the t-shirt. "You hungry? If Corrine didn't feel up to cooking then we can probably raid the fridge, or go grab some hot dogs like we did yesterday. The one thing we can't do is order pizza. You'd think that wouldn't be a problem here, but the delivery places say the house is too far away."
Dave handed John his t-shirt, and chuckled as he spoke about the pizza place. "What you need here, my friend, is a pizza place right on premises so you can have it delivered whenever you want. Maybe that's what I should do, open a pizza place and call it 'Doc's Pizza'," Dave said, unable to keep a playful grin from forming on his lips. "In all seriousness, we can check out the fridge, cause.. uh, I don't think my stomach can handle hotdogs two days in a row," Dave said in all sincerity. Hey, if he couldn't share his bowel problems with the man he loved, who *could* he share them with?
John shrugged on the shirt and laughed at Dave's idea about a pizza place on the premises. But his laughter died away when Dave made that comment about the hot dogs. "Your stomach can't handle them? Why didn't you say something yesterday? They have other food at that store, food that wouldn't have bothered you."
Dave shook his head. "Because, ya see, my friend, I *love* hot dogs. Do you remember those old commercials, I think they were for Tums or somethin'...with the guy in the ape suit that says, 'I love bananas, but they don't love me..'? Well, that's sorta the relationship I have with hot dogs. I love the way they taste..but my stomach doesn't like 'em at all. I just deal with the consequences, but it's not somethin' I'd eat every day..."
John laughed. "You are so bad, do you know that?" He carefully stood, then looked at Dave, a grin on his lips. "I can't believe I'm actually asking you this, but would you mind pulling down my pants so I can get them off?"
Dave rose a brow. "The day that *I* mind pullin' down your pants..." he teased, the smile on his lips growing wider. He walked a little closer to John, and reached out his hands, lightly grabbing the top of his pants. He worked the fabric over John's hips, trying hard to focus on the task as opposed to staring at John before him. And as he helped John sit back down so he could pull the pants the rest of the way off, he chuckled. "I dunno...I'm not usually gettin' your pants back on so quickly when I help ya strip..."
"Well, there's always a first time for everything," John replied as he waited for Dave to hand him the sweat pants. "I can put them on myself, you know, if you don't think you can handle that particular first."
"No, no," Dave said quickly, bringing his eyes up to meet John's. "I can do this, really. I *can* be this close to you without jumpin' ya," he said, as he reached for the sweatpants. He waited for John to step into them, and then pulled them up his legs as far as he could while John was sitting. Then, he looked at John once more. "I'm gonna need you to stand now, so I can, uh...pull them the rest of the way up..." It was *not* easy trying to be nonchalant, but Dave knew he had to be, or he was sunk.
John braced his hands on Dave's shoulders and got to his feet. "There you go," he said, still smiling as he felt the cotton material slide up over his hips. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" John moved his face closer to Dave's, interested in seeing if he could get another kiss. "I think that a person who can face an unknown first and get through it so well deserves a reward, don't you?"
"Yeah?" Dave kept his hands on John's hips even after the sweatpants were on. "What kinda reward didja have in mind?" Dave's own mind was whirling, and truth be told, he would be happy to just get a simple kiss.
"Hmm...maybe, this?" John moved forward until his lips were just barely touching Dave's. He parted them slightly and ran his tongue along Dave's lower lip for a moment, then fell fully into the kiss, needing to lose himself in everything that was Dave.
Dave's hands slid around to John's back, and he pulled John ever so slightly closer to him. Sighing into his lips, they continued to kiss. Yes -- sparks still flew, but things were different somehow. The kiss was backed up with *so* much love that it almost overwhelmed Dave.
The kiss finally ended, and Dave leaned his forehead against John's with a smile. "Well...I'll take *that* kinda reward any day."
"That's good to know," John said, somewhat breathlessly. "Because I plan to reward you often. As for right now, though, how about helping me get the socks and slippers on and then we can see about getting something to eat. I can use Gamma's toy and ride down the stairs if that will make you happy."
"We can do that," Dave said, as he gently pushed John back down onto the sofa. Kneeling on the floor before him, Dave reached for John's socks, and carefully helped him put them on. "As for ridin' the cart, I think it's a good idea...otherwise I'm gonna be forced to carry ya down the stairs," Dave teased.
"And won't that be a sight for everyone? While I greatly enjoy the feeling of your arms around me, I think I'll pass on having you carry me down the stairs."
Putting John's last sock on, Dave slid the slippers on John's feet, and then helped him stand again. "Is that any better?"
"Much better, thank you." John replied, and his feet did feel a bit better in the cushioned slippers. John looked down at his feet. "I think I love these slippers now," he said with a grin, and then he looked back up at Dave. "Ready?"
"Absolutely," Dave replied, as he reached out to put his arm around John's waist. He led the older man towards the door, and they together made their way to the top of the stairs. "So from what I understand," Dave said, focusing his attention on the chair. "All you gotta do is sit in this thing, and then press that button on the arm, and it'll do all the work for ya. Maybe I should get one of these for the cottage for when I'm too drunk to make it up the stairs," he teased lightly.
John eased into the seat. "Thanks for the driving lesson, but I really should point out that I'm the one who found this for Gamma and I had to show her how to use it." He put on the seat belt and grinned up at Dave. "See you downstairs, and no racing. We'd be a Hell of a couple with me limping and you with a broken leg or arm."
"Hey, I'll have ya know I've already raced your grandmother down the stairs several times, not that I won or anything," Dave added onto the end with a shy grin. "But, I don't want ya to worry about me, so I'll *carefully* walk down the stairs while you zip down in this thing." Dave's grin grew broader as he watched John use the chair to get downstairs, and he followed behind, humming to himself. He really *was* in a pretty good mood. For a day that had started out good, been pretty bad in the middle, it was definitely ending on a great note...
As soon as John came to a stop, he had the seat belt undone and was getting out of the chair. Grinning, he was in the process of turning around to say something to Dave when the front door opened and Abby and Luka walked in, hand in hand. John's grin faded away as he looked at Luka, and then looked at Abby, and then looked at their hands. So, they were back together?
Abby nervously licked her lips, wondering what to say or do. She really hadn't expected to run into John as they walked back into the house, and from his silence, Luka obviously hadn't expected it either. And now John was staring at them, and it made her feel as if she had suddenly sprouted horns.
John watched Abby squirm for a bit, and then he smiled. "Well, I guess that what I need to tell you just got easier," he said to Luka. In a way, it was a wonderful answer to his worries about Luka. He knew Abby had never truly gotten over the man, and it was good to see them willing to try again.
Dave stopped dead in his tracks as he watched Luka walk in, with Abby in tow. Well. This was definitely an interesting development. Dave quickly turned to look at John and gauge his reaction, at first worried about the man's silence. But as John spoke, Dave's fears were calmed. John was still going to tell Luka.
Luka had gripped Abby's hand tightly when confronted by John, and Dave. It was already going to be an awkward situation for Luka to break things off with John, and this was *not* the way that he wanted John to find out about Abby. But then John spoke, and Luka couldn't help the smile overtaking his own lips. "Oh? And what is it that you have to tell me? Obviously, I have something to tell you too, and if what you are going to tell me is similar, I think that perhaps a solution has come upon us that is best for all of us, don't you think?"
"I hope so," John easily replied. "Provided you promise me one thing," John asked as he stepped over to Luka and Abby and placing his hand on top of theirs.
Luka looked at John curiously as the man's hand covered his and Abby's. "Of course...anything..."
"Good." John smiled and he looked from Luka to Abby, then back at Luka. "Promise me that this time you two will actually 'talk' to each other? I don't mind being there as a sounding board for either one of you, but I think that if you two talk more, then you won't need me for that so much."
Abby laughed. "We noticed that we need to talk more, open up more, so don't worry. This is a promise I can make with all my heart." She let go of Luka's hand and placed both of hers on John's cheeks, suddenly serious. "You really are okay with this? With us? I mean...you and Luka were..."
"Meant to be good friends and nothing else," John said, looking directly into Abby's eyes. "It makes me happy to know that Luka's going to be happy."
"And what about me?" Abby asked, feigning indignation.
"It makes you happy to know that Luka's going to be happy, too," John replied with a grin.
"Oh, you!" Abby laughed again, then gave John a quick kiss on his cheek. "I love you, John Carter. And if that big Italian lug over there ever does you wrong, then don't you hesitate to show up on our doorstep."
Dave smiled broadly. Really, things could not have worked out better. Walking up to the couple, Dave extended his hand in friendship. "Hey, I'm happy for you guys," Dave said, his eyes moving from Abby to Luka. "I'm glad that you guys are gonna give it another go. You two were meant to be together..." Sort of like how Dave was meant to be with John. "Maybe we should double date sometime..."
Luka returned the smile, his own hand taking Dave's. "I think that going out on a double date sounds like a very good idea," he said. And then, something that Abby said, struck him as odd. "Our doorstep, huh? Does this mean you are asking me to move in with you?" Not that Luka minded. Seeing as he and John were no longer an item, it would have been awkward for the man to continue to live under John's roof, even if that roof did actually belong to Mrs. Carter. A playful smile was on Luka's lips as he looked towards Abby.
Abby smiled back at Luka. "The thought had crossed my mind. It's the only proper thing to do, isn't it? I mean, you were generous enough to let me stay at your place when I needed to get away from my apartment building, and I do have a couch that's long enough for you," she teased.
John shook his head. "As much as I would love to stand here and see the outcome of this, I'm starving. Why don't we take this into the kitchen while Dave whips up something for us?" he suggested with a smile and a hopeful look in Dave's direction.
Dave laughed, and then turned towards the other couple. "You see, he bagged me, and now I'm his personal slave," he said, turning his gaze back towards John. "Not that I'm complainin' one bit. Yeah, I'm sure there's some sort of food in this house we can whip up into some sorta gourmet meal," he quipped, as he led John towards the kitchen.
Luka turned towards Abby, hesitating for a moment before following John and Dave in. "So, you are serious? You want me to live with you..?" A smile spread over his lips as he thought about it. "You think I might be able to eventually graduate away from sleeping on your couch?"
Abby nodded. "I'm serious, and I'm sure that if you fulfill your promise to John that you won't be spending much time on the couch. At least not alone," she added with a smile.
Brushing a stray hair off of Abby's forehead, Luka's smile turned softer. "I think that it would be a very good idea. Why don't we go and join our friends for dinner?"
Abby nodded, then looked in the direction Dave and John had disappeared in. "He looks okay, except for the limping. Did he hurt his back again?"
Luka shook his head. "No, not his back. He hurt his feet," Luka simply said, not feeling that it was his place to go into full details of exactly what happened when John had his breakdown the previous day. "He'll be all right. He has a doctor taking very good care of him in Dave. Dave will make sure that John doesn't do anything to further hurt himself..." Of that Luka was sure. What had sealed the decision for Luka about whether or not he belonged with John had to do with the patient way that he had observed Dave taking care of him. Luka, quite simply, was not equipped to deal with the range of problems that John was dealing with. Abby, for all of her problems, was still mostly able to stand on her own.
"So, shall we join Dave and John?" Luka smiled down on her once more.
Abby looked up at Luka, wishing he would be more willing to tell her exactly what had happened with John. But, she knew Luka's ethics, and if Luka had been willing to divulge all without John's permission then he wouldn't be the man she loved. She smiled and held out her hand to him. "Let's. I'm starving and anxious to see if Dave's as good of a cook as John claims."