Author/pseudonym: MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Email address: monaCK2@yahoo.com and huntersglenn@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17
Status: Finished
Pairing: John Carter/Dave Malucci
Date: March 8, 2004
Archive: Please ask first
Series: 43/?
Category: "E.R."
Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure. The title of the story was inspired by the Jimmy Buffett song of the same name, and no infringement is intended. The story can be found on the following web sites: http://www.heresmona.com/fanfic.html
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Boutique/7087/, and
http://www.errealmofslash.com
Summary: It's a slashy A/U story about how Season 8 might have been and contains no spoilers for the current season.
"Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes, Part 43"
By MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Once in the kitchen, John sat down at the counter, feeling relief in more than just his feet. While on one level it hurt a bit to know that Luka's love for him hadn't been as deep as he'd thought, John could also say the same about his own love for Luka. He wasn't going to waste his time moping around over that, not when everything was working out so nicely. He had Dave and Luka had Abby and they would all end up happy. All in all, it was a good ending to a shitty day.
"I'd offer to tell you where everything is located except I have no real idea," John said, grinning at Dave. "You can see the fridge and the pantry is through that door and should be fully stocked. Help yourself."
Dave nodded. "Ya sure I'm not gonna get in trouble for rootin' through another cook's kitchen?" Dave grinned over towards John as he made his way over to the fridge. Opening the door, his eyes widened. "Whoa...you guys *are* fully stocked."
The amount of fresh ingredients was staggering. And as Dave entered the pantry to look at the dry ingredients, he nearly fell over. "Man, I'm gonna have somethin' whipped up in no time," he said, as he began to gather things for dinner.
Dave couldn't get over how much everything had changed -- and how they had gone from one extreme to another in regards to emotions in just a matter of days. But at least, at least everything seemed to be settling nicely. They had each other. And Luka had Abby. That couldn't have worked out better if Dave had written a script and planned it all out.
As he put the ingredients on the counter, Dave began to root through cabinets, looking for a bowl to mix in.
"What are you going to make?" John asked as he watched Abby and Luka walk into the kitchen, once more hand in hand. He smiled at the sight, wondering if there would ever be a time when he and Dave would be able to casually walk hand in hand away from the seclusion of the house and grounds. John felt a great sense of relief over having his father know about his feelings for Dave and his acceptance of it. With his parents and grandmother being accepting, all John was left to worry about were his friends and co-workers. His friends weren't a problem, but John wasn't so sure about his co-workers - at least, not all of them. Randi, of course, wouldn't be a problem. She'd be delighted at the turn of events, John was pretty sure about that. But Kerry -- Kerry had been very upset with Dave when she fired him, and John wasn't so sure that she would be understanding about them being together, and not because she was homophobic, but just because her dislike for Dave might run that deeply.
"I haven't quite figured that out yet," Dave said, as he began to mix ingredients in a bowl. "But when I figure it out, I promise ya...you'll like it, and it'll be good," he quipped, as he continued to mix. His eyes shifted as he saw Luka and Abby enter the room. They really did seem to compliment each other well. And Dave was happy for them, especially since it had assured Dave that John was his.
Abby took a seat on the stool next to John's. "A penny for your thoughts," she said as she took in the huge kitchen. Jesus, she thought, my apartment would fit in here.
"They aren't worth that much and I don't have change," John replied with a smile.
Luka smiled, and took his place on the other side of Abby, not quite hearing the conversation between her and John. Instead, he was watching Dave as he worked around the kitchen. For a guy who he initially thought did not have a lot of class, the man certainly seemed to know what he was doing.
"Veal Parm," Dave finally said, lifting up his head. "I'm makin' Veal Parm, with a side of penne pasta with a marinara sauce, sound good to you guys..?"
John grinned. "That's good for starters." He was only half-joking. The events of the day had taken a lot out of him, and breakfast, while fun, hadn't been very filling, especially since he hadn't eaten all that much.
Abby chuckled. "I'd forgotten just how huge your appetite can be," she said, teasing John. "How about if I make up a salad while Dave's working on the rest?"
"Sounds good to me," John replied. He looked at Luka. "Anything you want to add to the dinner? Bread, dessert, side vegetable, appetizer? All of the above?"
Dave nodded. "Okay, Abs, you can do the salad, and uh...how 'bout some Broccoli Rabe?"
Luka furrowed his brow. "What is that?"
"Oh, it's great," Dave said, as he moved towards the refrigerator to grab some fresh spinach and broccoli that he had seen earlier. "You mix the spinach and broccoli together in an oil and garlic sauté..."
"Where did you learn how to cook?" Luka was still amused that a man who could act so crass was this good around the kitchen. "I mean...I never knew..."
"You all never knew much about me," Dave quipped, as he looked down towards his ingredients. "You'll find I'm a man of many talents once you get to know me."
"Wait, I need some of that," Abby said. She got up from the stool and grabbed the bag of fresh broccoli. "Don't worry, I won't use it all in the salad, just a bit." She went to one of the other counters and set the broccoli aside, then began to look for a cutting board and knife. "Knives?" she asked John.
"Over there by the bread box," John gestured to yet another counter. He was enjoying watching his friends and lover interact, especially Luka and Dave. Maybe they'd end up being friends now that he wasn't between them? He hoped so.
"I thought I heard voices in here," Jack said from the doorway. "Is everything all right?" He was asking the question of Dave, but his eyes were on his son.
John smiled at his father. "Everything's great, Dad. Luka and Abby have decided to give their relationship a second chance and he's going to move in with her. And Dave and I are staying here, hopefully in the guest cottage, if Gamma agrees to that."
"I see," Jack slowly said. That was a far cry from the dire situation John had described earlier to Dr. DiLeo about the 'trigangle', but maybe he had been exaggerating. Not that it mattered, it was enough for Jack to see John smiling and truly looking happy.
Dave looked up from his vegetable chopping in time to see John's father enter the room. He was about to answer the older man's query when John spoke up instead. And as John finished speaking, Dave looked up and grinned at John's father. "I'm makin' a real Italian feast here. Would you like to join us, Mr. Carter?"
"We've eaten already, but thanks for the offer. We 'do' need to talk once you're done with dinner, though," Jack said. He needed to let John know that Jenny would continue to walk around free unless he pressed charges against the woman. He also wanted to warn him about Eleanor's attitude. Jack knew that both subjects would ruin John's present good mood, which is why he felt it would be better to discuss them after dinner.
John frowned, wondering what it was his father needed to discuss with them, but he nodded. "Okay." Whatever it was could obviously wait, and John really wasn't in the mood for any more discussions.
Luka looked over towards Mr. Carter, thinking he knew what Mr. Carter wanted to talk to John about since he'd been there when the subject of prosecuting Jenny had arisen. "Would it maybe be possible to wait until the morning, and maybe talk then? I think that all of us have had a very long day...I can only speak for myself, but I'm sure that John and Dave will want to just relax after everything today..."
Dave looked up towards the men, and nodded. "I...Mr. Carter, I can just take John back to the cottage tonight. I think that it might be a bit...much to talk over anything else today..."
John's lips were set in a firm line as he listened to Dave and Luka once again take on the task of deciding things for him. "I believe that I already told 'my' father that I was okay with discussing things after dinner and I meant it." He was trying not to be angry with either man, but they made it so damn difficult.
Luka began to speak. "I don't think..." But one look from Dave silenced him. Dave bowed his head down, and muttered an apology. "Sorry," he said, focusing his attention back on the food. "You're right..."
Dave certainly hadn't meant to upset John. But he wanted to protect him. They were having such a good few hours that Dave didn't want anything to ruin the moment. He just wanted *one* night where nothing went wrong.
"Damn straight I'm right," John muttered. It was good that Dave had realized his mistake, but John still felt it shouldn't have happened in the first place, especially since he had been sitting right there.
Jack nodded. "I'll catch you after dinner, then." He turned and left the room, not wanting to inadvertently cause any more stress than his words had already caused. He had a new worry, and that was finding Eleanor and making sure she stayed out of the kitchen. She was still highly upset with him, both over Jenny and the fact he approved of John being with Dave. The only good thing was that she had no idea that John had also been involved with Luka, but she might end up finding out about that relationship if she interrupted them all in the kitchen.
Eleanor left the room that she had come to call her bedroom after taking a rather long nap. She had changed her clothing, and washed her face, trying to clear her mind from all of the earlier nastiness. How could it be that her John was in love with a *man*? Had that boarding school roommate really messed him up *that* much? Obviously, it had been some sort of mistake, and it couldn't be the truth. Maybe she had dreamed it all, which was why she had awakened feeling not only restless, but hungry as well.
Making her downstairs, she headed towards the kitchen, intent on making herself a late dinner when she ran into her husband walking out of the room. Eleanor could hear voices coming from the kitchen, and wondered what was going on in there, especially considering the odd look on Jack's face as he saw her. "Good evening, Jack. What a pleasant surprise..."
"Eleanor," Jack said, making sure he was blocking her path to the kitchen. "What brings you down here?" He hadn't seen her since their short talk after she had made that scene over John being with Dave, but since he had been about to go looking for her, Jack couldn't exactly fault her timing. It was just the location of their run-in that didn't suit him.
"Well, I'm hungry, Jack. I thought I would find myself something to eat. Is there a problem that I should be aware of? Is something wrong with John?" Her initial apathy had actually turned to a bit of fear. What if that horrible creature Jenny had turned up again and John was in trouble...
"No," Jack quickly replied. "John's fine. He's awake and downstairs. In the kitchen, to be exact, but he's not alone. Dave's preparing dinner for him and their friends." Jack took a deep breath and looked his estranged wife in the eyes. "He doesn't know that you disapprove of his relationship with Dave and I'd prefer that you not make a scene right now. He's hungry and doesn't need you pushing him toward another breakdown."
Eleanor stood stoically as Jack spoke, and was silent for a few moments after her husband finished expressing his thoughts. So it wasn't a dream. John *was* sleeping with another man. On some level, however, Eleanor realized that Jack was right -- John had been through enough for one day. "I would never dream of embarrassing him, Jack. You underestimate me." And pushing herself past the man she had once loved, she made her way into the kitchen.
Dave looked up as Eleanor entered, his face draining of color as he remembered their earlier confrontation. Was she back for round two? And, if so, what could he do to prevent it?
John smiled as he saw his mother. "Mom, you remember Abby from work, don't you?" He thought his mother looked sad, sadder than usual, but knew it was best to not say anything. God knew she had more than enough reasons to feel sad, and they were all because of him. Finding out about Jenny must have been a great shock to her, he supposed.
Eleanor turned towards the woman, and a rather cold smile crossed her lips. "Nice to see you, Abby." Of course, she didn't remember her, but she would humor her son. She didn't want to upset him -- that was the goal. "So, what are you making for dinner...Dave?"
Abby returned Eleanor's smile. She remembered the woman from when John's grandfather had died, and then later when Eleanor had brought a young boy into the ER so John could treat him. That had been right about the time that Brian had beaten her, and Abby really didn't want to dwell on that again. The woman she remembered from that time though was cold, and this woman was no different. Although Abby supposed that under the circumstances with John, his mother would have come across as more...loving.
Dave's eyes widened, and a grin crossed his lips. "Veal Parm...pasta...salad...Broccoli Rabe. Wouldya like some?"
Eleanor nodded, thinking that she could easily handle sitting down and eating with the others if it meant that she got to spend time with John in the process. "That would be very nice. Do you mind if I join you for dinner?"
"Of course not," John quickly replied. "Everyone's making something to go along with it. Abby's making the salad, Luka's making the Broccoli Rabe, or at least, he's going to try," John shot a grin in Luka's direction, then turned his attention back to his mother. "We still need a dessert or appetizer? Feel up to volunteering to make something?"
Abby chuckled. "And just what do you plan to prepare for dinner?" she asked John.
"Not a thing, and you should be very grateful for that, too, Miss Lockhart," John quickly replied. "The plan here is to end up with edible food and not food that we have to toss in the garbage." He looked back at his mother. "Well? Any ideas?"
Jack had lingered in the hallway, ready to jump in if Eleanor got out of hand, but she seemed to be doing all right, so he decided to head to the study to sit and read with his mother for a while. If things got out of hand, then he was sure he and Millicent would be able to hear the shouting from in there, especially if he left the study door open.
Luka got up from his stool, muttering something about having absolutely no idea how to make Broccoli Rabe, when Dave assured him that he would help the poor guy out. It was amazing, now that Luka was no longer his enemy, how Dave found that he did not mind spending time with him at all. It was overall a good feeling.
Eleanor brought her gaze back to meet her son's. "Why don't I take care of dessert," she said, straightening up. "You know I don't cook very well, John...but maybe I can heat up a pie? I'm sure that Corrine has a few in the freezer..."
"I'm pretty sure she was baking apple pies the other day, and we have ice cream and some sharp cheddar cheese, so those would go well with it." John smiled and licked his lips in anticipation of dessert. "A slice of hot apple pie with melting cheese on top sounds wonderful, doesn't it?"
Abby laughed. "It does, but I think you're going to have to be patient. It'll be a while before we reach dessert."
Dave smiled up towards Eleanor, as well as Abby and John. Everything seemed to be working out just fine, and even Mrs. Carter seemed to be doing all right, finding a task for herself to do while the rest of them quietly prepared the food. Soon, everything was in the oven, or on the stove being cooked, and they were left to try to talk to each other while the food was being prepared.
"So," Luka began, as he put a gentle hand on the small of Abby's back. "You and Dave are going to live in the cottage now?" He looked over towards John with a soft smile. "I think that will be good for the two of you..." Luka was unaware of exactly how John's mother viewed the situation, but he had assumed that she was fully aware of what was going on.
Eleanor's back straightened as she turned to face John, trying her best to keep her distaste of that idea from showing. "Oh? You and Dave are going to be living together?"
John nodded, completely missing the look in his mother's eyes. "I think we'd have a bit more privacy over there as opposed to him moving in here. And I'll still be able to keep an eye on Gamma, which is the most important thing. Dave and I have already talked about how he'll need to resign now that we're back together. We both agree that it just wouldn't look right for him to continue working as Gamma's in-house physician."
"No. Of course. That wouldn't be right at all. I can't imagine it would be a good idea for Dave to continue on in the house at all. I'm sure his mind will be occupied on other things..."
Eleanor's eyes darted around the room, and she felt as if the four walls were closing in on her. Her need to express herself was fighting with the realization that fighting with John was not a very good idea. So instead, she decided to remove herself from the situation. "I...if you'll excuse me, John, I suddenly find that I have a headache, and I have lost my appetite. I hope you enjoy your dinner..." And before another word could be said to her, Eleanor fled from the room, intend on going *somewhere* and screaming at something -- or someone. And who better than her soon to be ex-husband?
Back in the kitchen, Dave let out a breath that he hadn't realized he was holding as he turned around and nervously checked on the food that was baking. He was *very* glad that John's mother had wisely decided to keep her thoughts of disapproval to herself.
John took a few moments to look at the doorway, wondering if his mother really did have a headache or if it was just a convenient excuse to not be around him. She had to be, on some level, disgusted by what he had done with Jenny, and John couldn't blame her for not wanting to be anywhere near him. "I'm sorry. Mom tends to have headaches when she gets tense. I throw up, she gets headaches," he weakly joked, but tears beginning to form in his eyes.
Abby was finishing with tearing the lettuce to bits when she noticed that John was on the verge of tears. Putting down the lettuce, she wiped her hands on a towel and went to stand beside him, putting her arm around his waist. "Are you okay?" His mother certainly hadn't said anything that would upset him, but, Abby knew that someone suffering from PTSD could be set off by anything.
John nodded, and then buried his face in Abby's shoulders, angry with himself for crying. "I know she can't help it, it's stupid for me to be upset. Just stupid."
"Hey, it's all right to cry, John, just as long as you don't get carried away with it." Abby held him close, smoothing his hair down with one hand. "It's okay."
Dave turned around, bewildered that John had gone from happy to upset in a matter of a few seconds, but he supposed that it was inevitable. And silently he cursed John's mother for being so outwardly unemotional. She had been part of the reason why John was as fragile as he was, and it was tearing John up inside. "Hey...Abby's right," Dave said, as he took a step closer to his lover. "Even I cry every once in a while," he teased lightly. "I mean...yeah, it's okay to cry..."
Dave touched John's shoulder, not wanting to disturb him too much since Abby was already doing such a good job of comforting him.
"Well, there you have it," Abby said. "If Dr. Dave cries every now and then, it's more than okay for you to cry, right?"
John shook his head. "That's not what I meant." He pulled away from Abby, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hands. "I meant that I know why she's upset and it's not her fault, and I have no business being upset because she can't stand being around me now."
Abby looked worriedly at Dave, wondering if John was referring to the abuse. Had his mother actually said something to him about it? Something to make him think that she didn't want to be around him now because of it?
Dave returned Abby's look, and shook his head. "Abby, would you mind keepin' your eye on the food for a minute?"
Dave put his arm fully around John's shoulder, and pulled the man close to his chest. "Why do you think your mom doesn't wanna be around you now?" He remembered what Dr. DiLeo had said -- about encouraging John to talk when Dave felt that John was upset about something. And the fact that John was crying made it obvious that there was something very wrong. He brought his hand up to the side of John's face, and wiped away a stray tear. Dave was hoping that he would be able to get John to talk.
"She left in a hurry, didn't she?" John replied. Safe and secure within Dave's arms, John found it a bit easier to give voice to his fears. "She doesn't want to be around me now...she's got to be disgusted about what I did."
Abby was finding herself blinking back tears as she heard what John said. As cold as the woman seemed, Abby didn't think that she'd turn her back on John just because he was abused. Then again, this was the Carter family, and the more Abby had heard of them and their exploits, the more she felt as if her childhood had been normal after all.
Dave shook his head. "No...no, John. I'm sure that's not it at all. I think...I think she's just disgusted by the whole situation. Today she heard a lot of things for the first time that she wasn't really ready to handle. You're her son, and I know she loves ya. I just think she has a really funny way of showing' it at times. Do you trust me, John?"
Luka observed the situation, and then noticed Abby's reaction to it. Wordlessly he walked over towards Abby, and wrapped his own strong arms around her. John had been through so much -- but him talking was a very good thing. It was his first step towards healing.
"We need croutons for the salad," Abby said. She pulled away from Luka, then took him by the hand and led him into the walk-in pantry so that John and Dave would have a bit of privacy. As soon as they were out of sight, she buried her own face into Luka's shirt, her heart breaking for her best friend.
"You know I do," John said against Dave's shirt. He let Dave tie him to the bed, hadn't he? Didn't that show that he trusted him? "How could you not know that?"
"Then I need you to believe me when I tell you that your mom just needs some time to get used to everything. And...I think that might also include you and I as a couple...okay? Your mom was just given a Hell of a shock, and if it takes her as much time to adjust to things as I think it does, it's gonna take her a while...but she'll come around..." Dave continued to hold John close, stroking his hair as he kissed the top of his head.
"It took her twenty years to get used to Bobby being gone, Dave. I don't think I can wait twenty years for her to get used to this." John wanted to believe Dave, but he knew his mom and Dave didn't. Then John belatedly picked up on Dave's comment about his mom needing time to get used to the two of them. He pulled back from Dave, worry replacing the sorrow in his eyes. "She doesn't like you or she doesn't like the fact that I'm with you? Which is it?"
"I...I'm not gonna lie to you," Dave said, his voice very soft. "I think it might be a little of both. She knows how we feel about each other, and I don't know how used to she is to seein' her son in love with another man..." Dave hoped he wasn't saying too much, but one thing he had learned was that covering up the truth was not the way to handle things. "I think that mighta been why she left. She's tryin', John, I really think she is. But, she's just gotta get used to it..."
A chill ran through Dave's spine as he thought about telling his own family about what was going on. "I can sorta understand it. I love you with all my heart, you know that. But I'm scared to death of tellin' my brother about this, and my brother and I have a really *good* relationship..."
John looked away from Dave. He had already cost Dave two jobs and now the possibility existed that he would cost Dave the love of his brother. "I just keep hurting you, don't I? First your job with the cruise line, then when you came here and found out I was with Luka, and now you're facing losing this job and your brother..." John shook his head. "I'm not worth that much, Dave, I'm really not."
"Oh no you don't," Dave said, shaking his head intently. "You're not gonna push me away from you. You are *not* hurtin' me. I already explained to you that I'm happiest when I'm with you. You are the person I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I'll...I'll tell my brother...but it's not gonna surprise me if he has the same reaction as your mom did. But you know somethin'? I already learned that I am *not* happy without you. And you are worth all the risks in the world...
John knew that if his family was against the idea of him being with Dave then it would devastate him, no matter how much he loved Dave. John also knew that he definitely wasn't worth the risks, no matter how rosy the glasses were that Dave was wearing. "He's the only family you have, Dave. It's not right for me to come between you and him." John looked at Dave intently. "It's just not right."
"Don't you understand, John, that if I don't have you...that it's not gonna matter *what* my brother thinks? Please...don't push me away, not after everythin' we've done to get to this point. I love you so much. Please...don't do this..." Suddenly Dave felt like his world was closing in on him again. Everything had settled, and now it was up in the air again because Dave had opened his big mouth and mentioned his family. "Don't worry about my brother...please...?"
John could see that Dave was becoming upset and he didn't want that. He wrapped his arms around Dave and pulled him close, once more resting his head against Dave's chest. "I'm just still a bit tired...don't mind me, okay?" John knew there would be other times for them to discuss the situation. God knew it wasn't going anywhere.
Dave nodded, blinking away the tears that had filled his eyes without him even realizing it. And then sniffing around, Dave abruptly let John go. "Shit...the veal..."
Running towards the oven, Dave opened the door to find he was too late. With a sheepish grin, he pulled the tray out of the oven. "Uh, okay...so, uh, what do ya say about orderin' in?" he teased, as he showed John the tray of now blackened veal.
John smiled weakly. "I already warned you that no one delivers out here. The salad's half made, and I don't think Luka started on the Broccoli Rube, so why not just make spaghetti or the penne with the marinara sauce? We don't have to have meat, do we?" It was his fault that the veal was ruined and John was trying to think of some way to salvage dinner, not that he now had much of an appetite for it, but he'd pretend to still be hungry if it made Dave happy.
Dave set the mess down on the counter and thought for a moment, his mind obviously whirring as he tried to figure out what he could do to make a decent meal out of what was left. "Y'know, I saw some sausage in the fridge. I can finish up the pasta, and add some sausage to the sauce so that we've got some protein goin' on, too. How does that sound? I seem to remember you likin' Italian Sausage," Dave teased, as he walked back over towards John.
John couldn't help but grin at that. "That sounds good. And if I can't get any Italian Sausage with my meal, then I'll just have to settle for it as a midnight snack," he replied.
"I think that's more than I wanted to know," Abby said with a giggle as she and Luka walked back into the kitchen. "I take it that the veal is no longer among us?" She asked as she glanced at the ruined meat.
Dave was feeling better -- at least he had gotten John to smile a little bit. And he looked up with a wider grin as Abby and Luka rejoined them. "Yeah, the veal has seen better days. I thought we'd have some sausage instead. Any objections?"
"None from me," Luka said, as he replaced his arm around Abby's shoulders. "Whatever it is, I just hope it's soon. I'm rather hungry. It's been a long day." Long day was an understatement -- but it was a day that ended up with everyone happy in the end. And that was a very good thing.