Author/pseudonym: MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Email address: monaCK2@yahoo.com and huntersglenn@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17
Status: Finished
Pairing: John Carter/Luka Kovac/Dave Malucci
Date: January 18, 2004
Archive: Please ask first
Series: 37/?
Category: "E.R."
Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure. The title of the story was inspired by the Jimmy Buffett song of the same name, and no infringement is intended. The story can be found on the following web sites: http://www.heresmona.com/fanfic.html
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Boutique/7087/, and
http://www.errealmofslash.com
Summary: It's a slashy A/U story about how Season 8 might have been and contains no spoilers for the current season.
"Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes, Part 37"
By MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Dave nodded. "Yeah...yeah. I'll come in there with ya." As Dave looked over to John, he thought that if it would bring a smile back to the man's face, he'd likely stand on his head. As it was, he didn't understand why not being in the tub with him had caused John's demeanor to change ever so slightly. "Why don't you scoot up a little, and I'll climb in behind ya, okay?"
He waited for John to move, and Dave stepped into the still warm water. As he sat down onto the surface of the tub, his legs surrounded John, and he smiled as the man leaned back into him. "Now, this...this is what I mean, look at how well your body fits against mine. Like...like it was meant to be." There was no way that Luka and John could fit together as well as Dave and John did. There was just no way, at least in Dave's mind.
John rested his hands on Dave's knees, relishing the feel of them under his palms. "I know exactly what you mean," he said with a small smile. Then John turned his head so he could look into Dave's eyes. "I love you, you believe that, don't you?"
"Of...of course I believe it.. I've never doubted for a minute that you love me, John," Dave said, his voice rather soft. "And you know I love you too, right? More than anything?" He brought his hand up to the side of John's face, and gently caressed the skin. It was loving gestures like these, intimate moments that pushed Dave forward and made him really believe they could have a future together.
John took a deep breath and nodded as he moved to capture Dave's hand against his cheek. "I do...I shouldn't, but I do," he softly replied.
Dave cocked his head sideways. "You...shouldn't? Why?" He was genuinely confused.
"I've believed it too many times in the past, with other people who had no trouble showing me that in the end they really didn't give a damn. Based on that history, I should be running as far away from you and Luka as I can get, or else just not believe it when you guys tell me you love me. But I do believe it, Dave." John twisted around until he had most of his torso facing Dave, and he reached out to caress Dave's cheek. "I really and truly believe you."
"I...I'll never give you a reason to doubt me again, I promise you that. God...John...I know you believe me, because I know you believe that if I didn't love you, I wouldn't have come back. I wouldn't have come to find you, I wouldn't have stuck around when I got here, and you were with Luka. Do...do you understand that you already *own* a piece of my heart? And even though I tried to forget you, all those months, when we were apart...I tried...you...it was always about you. I'd try to go out on dates, and your face would be on my mind. I'd be in the middle of talkin' to someone, and all of a sudden, somethin' you said or did would come back to haunt me. I'm...I'm not sayin' I couldn't live without you, but man, would my life suck..." Leaning in, he very gently captured John's lips with his own. It was a soft, but very, very loving kiss.
Dave's loving kiss, coupled with his words, tore into John's heart. As the kiss ended, he kept his eyes downcast. "I...I wish I could say the same, Dave, but I can't. I dated Susan and hoped for something to happen with her, I imagined things happening with Abby, but they never did...your face wasn't always in my mind." John suddenly looked up and into Dave's eyes. "I thought about you. I thought about you a lot. But I obviously don't love you as much as you love me, and I'm sorry about that, I really am."
Dave's eyes were full of emotion as he looked at John. "Yeah, you looked at them, and you tried...but, somethin' was missin'...right? Somethin' wasn't quite there that you were lookin' for. And it's enough that you thought about me. You have a tremendous capability to love, and I think it's great. I mean...I know you love Luka, and that's okay, as...as long as you keep part of your heart for me...I...I guess that's all I need right now. I want you know that I'm okay with that. You...you did the right thing when we were apart. You tried to move on. I...I just thank God that part of you still loved me when I came back, or I don't know where I'd be right now..."
"No matter what happens, a part of me will always love you, Dave. And I'll be there for you, always. Even if we're not a couple, you will be able to count on me." Even if it killed him, John thought, he'd be there for Dave. "Now, we better get this bath underway before you're late for work," John took the soap from Dave's hand and began to rub it over Dave's chest, needing to change the topic before things became too emotional.
"Yeah, yeah...even if we're not a couple," Dave managed to say, as he leaned against the back of the tub. He shut his eyes, trying to ward off the tears that had unwillingly formed there. There was no way that he could let John see him so emotional. No way. But those words were eating at him. There was still a very real chance that John was going to choose Luka over him. And though Dave had said that he could live with it if that happened, it scared the shit out of him.
Moving to his knees, John continued with the soap, making sure he covered every inch of the front of Dave's body before grabbing the washcloth to rinse off Dave's skin. "I think I've got all the residue washed away, but now I need your back," John said as he knelt between Dave's legs, his eyes lingering over Dave's face as he wondered just what Dave was thinking about behind his closed eyelids -- as if he had to be told, John chided himself. It was more than obvious that it was the situation they were in, and that Dave's pain was caused by John's faithlessness.
Dave blinked his eyes open, and simply nodded. He then repositioned his body so that John could have better access to his back. "I...I'm supposed to be takin' care of you, and I'm not doin' a very good job of it."
John forced a smile to his face. "That's okay. I enjoy taking care of you, too," he said as he rubbed the soap over Dave's back. "Besides, you still have to wash me, remember?"
Dave nodded, and forced a smile onto his lips. "Yeah, yeah, I'll wash you, too, but...I think I might be a little late seein' your Grandmother. I...I don't wanna leave you yet..." In fact, he didn't want to *ever* leave John, but that was a different story altogether.
"You still have to check my feet and put new bandages on them, and help me get downstairs so Jerry Springer and I can spend a quality morning together," John joked as he used his hand to rub soap over Dave's butt cheeks -- and they were very nice butt cheeks to rub a hand over, John thought.
Dave nodded. "Yeah, I'll take care of checkin' your feet, and yeah, I'll be happy to help you downstairs, too. Anything for you, John..." His voice was sincere. Dave had never felt like this for anyone, and he knew without a doubt that if John asked him to jump in front of a running train, he would do it. The last time Dave had tried to say no to something, it had sent John into a near nervous breakdown. And Dave had little to no desire to ever see that happen again.
He involuntarily shuddered as he felt John's hands on his ass. "You know...don't know if I told ya lately, but ya have really good hands, John, really good..."
"Hmm, let me think..." John continued to run his hands over Dave's firm butt cheeks. "No, I don't think you've mentioned that lately," he replied with a grin. Then he put the soap up. "There, you're all clean. So, was I able to follow your washing lessons okay? It's a little difficult to take something I was taught in the shower and make it work in a bath, but I think I did all right."
"Hmm...I dunno...maybe you should make a thorough inspection, just to make sure you didn't miss a spot. Of course, to do that, I'll have to get up outta this nice comfortable bath so you can look me over, and, uh...I'm really quite comfortable bein' like this." Dave turned his head slightly, and kissed John gently on the lips. And as it ended, he continued to smile. "Yeah...I'm likin' this..."
John chuckled. "Good, because I like this, too. However, Gamma doesn't get too thrilled with people who show up late for appointments. If she's expecting you to be there at a certain time, then I highly recommend that you get there either early or on time." As he spoke, John was scooping up bath water and rinsing Dave's back with it, running his hands firmly over the skin. "You feel nice and clean to me," he added, a wicked grin on his face.
Dave grinned. "Yeah, I have no real intentions of bein' late, but I'm afraid that I am gonna have to leave ya soon. But I'll probably be back to check on ya mid-mornin' or so." Dave didn't want to think about what would happen when Luka caught wind of the fact that John was still at the cottage. And in reality, Dave didn't care. If it meant that it was more points in Dave's favor, he was not going to complain. "So, uh...you think you'd be okay with that? Me comin' back to check on you?"
John shrugged. "Sure. I'll need someone to make me lunch, after all," he said, still smiling. "Although I'm sure Corrine will either hand you something to bring to me or bring it over herself, so you should make sure you leave the door unlocked." He reached forward and pulled the plug, listening for a moment as the water began to gurgle down the drain. "You'd better have a look at my feet now, so you can get dressed and on your way. It's strange to think of you going to work just across the lawn."
Dave nodded, and lifted himself out of the tub. He then grabbed a towel and turned towards his lover. "So, since ya bathed me and all, can I dry ya off before I check out your feet? I can wrap them right in here, so that way you won't have ta be on them that long before havin' to walk on 'em."
"That sounds like a plan," John said as he pushed himself to his feet. Being in the hot water had helped with the aches, but they still hurt, and he was grateful once again for Dave's assistance.
After helping John out of the tub, Dave led him over towards the toilet, so that he could sit while Dave began to dry off his body. "What do ya wanna wear today? Should I grab ya a pair of sweats to wear until I can get back over here with a change of clothing?" Dave put a second towel down on the floor so that he could kneel before John as he began to gently dry him off.
"Sweats will be okay until you can come back over. And a T-shirt, if you don't mind," John said as he watched Dave. The man definitely seemed to be enjoying what he was doing and John could almost understand that as he greatly enjoyed drying off Dave's body. He just didn't see where there was all that much to enjoy about his own body.
After Dave had finished clearing every last bit of liquid off of John's skin, he smiled up to him before standing once more, intending on getting his supplies for taking care of John's feet and then setting to work. He had everything assembled and then made his way back towards his lover. This time, he sat down, and took John's left foot into his lap. Looking at it, he upturned his eyes towards John's once more. "It's lookin' a bit better, but I still don't wanna see you walk around on 'em too much today. They look like they still hurt a lot..." John's feet were still rather bruised. Even though they weren't bleeding anymore, it looked like if John put too much pressure on them, that could easily start to happen again.
John nodded. "Okay, you won't see me walking around on them too much today, I promise." And John intended to keep his word. If he had to do much walking, he'd just make sure that Dave wasn't there to see him. "I'll park myself on the couch and stay there as much as humanly possible."
Dave nodded, a half smile on his lips. "Okay. I trust ya, John."
He finished wrapping John's feet, and soon, Dave was once more standing. "You wait right here, I'll grab you those clothes, and then help ya downstairs...okay?"
After Dave left the bathroom, John found himself unable to do much except sit there. He thought about brushing his teeth, but he didn't want to presume to be able to borrow Dave's toothbrush without permission, and besides, Dave would be coming back soon and John didn't want to be caught on his feet. He finally grabbed the towel from the counter where Dave had left it and began to dry his hair with it.
In a blink of an eye Dave was gone, and after rooting through his suitcase, he found a pair of sweats and a T-shirt suitable for John to lounge around in. He didn't bother to cover himself up since he was going to just go downstairs and settle John in before getting ready for work. And he walked back into the bathroom with a smile. Dave helped John get dressed, and then smiled once more. "Ya ready for a day of smut TV?"
John grinned. "Hey, I'm always ready for smut. I wonder just who Jerry'll have on there today? Maybe transvestite sisters/brothers in love with the same guy, only he turns out to be a woman posing as a man?" John joked as he put his arm around Dave's shoulder.
*********
After getting John settled in downstairs, and then getting dressed, Dave gave John a simple kiss and then headed out to work. Kind of odd that work was not far away from John -- and Dave liked that. He liked being near the guy, making sure he was okay. As he entered the house, it was rather quiet, but he easily found Mrs. Carter having her breakfast in the dining room. With a grin on his face, he entered the room.
"Hey, Mrs. C. How ya feeling today? John's feet are still kinda messed up, so he's spendin' the day slummin' it in the cottage."
Millicent's eyebrows rose at that news. She had suspected that John hadn't spent the night in the main house, but hadn't wanted to pry. It was good to know that he had someone watching over him. "I'm as fine as I can be this morning, Dave, thank you for asking. Please, have a seat. Have you eaten yet or would you like some breakfast?" she offered as the butler hovered nearby.
"Hmm, some coffee might be great, actually," he suggested. And the butler quickly went off to fill Dave's request. Once alone, he turned towards Mrs. Carter once more. "I couldn't get him to talk anymore, but he did seem to be feelin' better about things. I was at least happy about that. Maybe confrontin' him wasn't the best plan, but I felt like there wasn't a choice.. I mean, I was really scared yesterday..."
The butler came out with a fresh cup of coffee for Dave, and he slowly sipped it as he regarded the strong woman across from him. If anyone was going to have an answer to this, it would be her, Dave suspected.
Millicent looked up at the butler. "Thank you, I'll call if we need anything else," she said, summarily dismissing the man. As soon as she knew he was gone, Millicent turned to Dave. "John can be stubborn at the best of times, but I've taken some steps that might help. Algier is out now, at O'Hare, to pick up Eleanor and Jack. Even though they were in different places, their flights are arriving close together and they should be here soon. Dr. Meyers is coming back out this morning and he's bringing a colleague with him, a psychiatrist. And Corrine and I spoke at length last night. She's quite upset about what her niece did, but I convinced her to bring Jenny here this morning. If John won't admit what everyone else can see, then perhaps hearing it from the others involved will force him to see the truth."
She took a sip of tea. "In a way it's a good thing that he's stuck at the cottage as I'd like a chance to find out from my son just what happened. I'm still angry with Jack, but after thinking about it last night I came to realize that until I hear his side of the story, I don't really know what happened. I'd like for you to be here all morning, Dave, and not just as one of my physicians, but also as someone who loves and cares for John. You might not like me for this, but I've also asked Luka to return home early for the same reason."
Dave kept his hand around the cup of coffee, taking it all in. And then, he slowly nodded. "Yeah...yeah.. I don't get along with Luka...but it's probably a good idea for him to be here, too. He's very much involved in everything that's been goin' on. Wow. The whole family here, that'll...be somethin' else. You're right, it's probably for the best that John's not here. When's the last time he saw Jenny? I can't imagine he'll react very well if he saw her..."
No. Dave didn't like the idea of Luka being involved, but he recognized that the guy had to be. As much as Dave hated it.
"I don't suppose that he will handle it well, that's why I asked Dr. Meyers if he could recommend a psychiatrist and he volunteered his friend. Although I do believe that the more recognized term these days is 'partner', but I try to not pry into the personal lives of others," Millicent said. "As for when John last saw the woman, I have no idea. It sounded as if the...incident happened directly prior to when she quit working for Jack and Eleanor. If that's the case, then it has been twenty years."
Millicent checked her watch. "Jack's flight, which is the later one, doesn't land until 10:30 this morning, so we have plenty of time before then. We can take care of the vitals check after breakfast, if you don't mind?" she asked him. Then a new thought occurred to her. "Has John had breakfast yet? We can send something over to him or you could take it to him once we're done with the vital signs."
Dave grinned as he remembered what *had* happened to breakfast. "Well, he had some fruit, but nothin' too substantial," Dave said, thinking about the discarded tray on the floor. He hoped that it wasn't obvious that he had spent the morning essentially screwing the brains out of Mrs. Carter's grandson. "Actually, I think he had a bit of waffles too, so he should actually be alright until lunch," he said, as he took another sip of his coffee.
He then nodded. "Yeah, I'll take care of your vitals after breakfast. And, uh...thanks for includin' me on this. I do love John...and I just want what's best for him, ya know?"
Millicent smiled warmly at Dave. She knew that if he had still been alive, that her husband would most likely be having a difficult time dealing with the presence of Dave or Luka in John's life and she found herself hoping that Jack wasn't going to end up giving John any grief over the love he had for the two men. "I wouldn't have dreamed of keeping you away from John," Millicent said as she reached out to grasp Dave's hand. "All I've ever wanted was for John to be happy. I know that this...situation is keeping all of you from being happy at the moment, but I'm confident that things will soon be worked out."
Millicent pushed her empty bread plate aside. "I'm quite done with my breakfast, so if you're ready we can get all the medical brouhaha out of the way now."
Dave nodded, and after taking one more sip of his coffee, he set it aside while he reached for his medical bag. A little while later, he had Mrs. Carter's full round of vitals recorded, and he nodded. "Well, your blood pressure's a little up," he said, frowning slightly. "But that's understandable after all the stress that you've been under the past few days. Nothin' to worry about yet, but we might have to see about adjustin' your meds if it keeps goin' up."
Placing his book back in his medical bag, Dave sat back down in the chair at the dining room table. "We still have about a half hour before the crowd begins to arrive. Do ya wanna lie down or anything before that happens?"
"I was thinking of going to the study to read my morning paper. You're more than welcome to join me, but if you'd prefer to check on John, I'd quite understand," Millicent assured Dave as she wheeled away from the table. She knew that she wasn't the only person in the household suffering from a great amount of stress recently, and thought that both John and Dave would benefit from a quick visit.
That was twice that Mrs. Carter had mentioned it, and Dave would be a fool to turn it down both times. "Okay. I think that's probably a good idea. I'd imagine that John's gettin' kinda lonely bein' at the house on his own. Maybe if you want, you can page me when people start arrivin'? That way I can be there only a few minutes after that...does that sound good?" Because the more time that Dave got to spent with John, the happier he was.
"That will be fine, although I don't want John to think that I'm paging you because of a medical emergency. Why don't you tell him that Dr. Meyers is coming back today and you'll need to be here to see him again? It's not quite a lie and it will keep him from overly worrying," Millicent suggested. She knew better than to think that it would keep John from worrying at all, but it would help allay his fears.
Dave nodded. "Yeah, okay, I can do that. I don't want John to worry about you...he does that enough without me addin' to it," Dave said with a slight grin. "And...Mrs. C? Thanks." With a final smile towards the older woman, Dave headed out of the house, intent on going back to see John. As he strolled across the lawn, he sighed to himself. This was a great job -- how often was it that you were on the clock and still got to spend time with your lover?
He made his way to the cottage, and he was going to knock, but realizing that it was really *his* place, he turned the handle instead. "Hi Honey, I'm home," he said, his voice teasing.
John hit the mute button on the remote, more than glad for the interruption. He could only handle so much smut television at a time. He looked over at Dave with a smile. "I wasn't expecting you so soon. How's Gamma doing today?"
Dave sat down on the couch next to John, and turned to him with a grin. "She's doin' just fine. Dr. Meyers is comin' over again today to talk a bit about her meds, so I'm gonna have to go back over there when they page me, but until then, I'm all yours, that is, if you'd like some company?"
John's smile widened and he placed a hand on Dave's thigh. "I'd never turn away your company, you know that." John looked back toward the doorway, and then frowned as he looked back at Dave. "Were you able to find some clothes for me?" While John liked having something that smelled of Dave next to his skin, he really did prefer the idea of wearing his own clothes, but he wasn't going to make Dave go back to the house just for that reason. For all John knew, Dave might not have had a chance to get upstairs.
Dave grimaced slightly, and then shook his head. "Nah...I didn't. I'm sorry. I took your grandmother's vitals, and when she mentioned that it would be alright for me to come over here for a little while, I snagged the chance and bolted over here," Dave said, as he took John's hand in his. "I figured ya wouldn't mind having my company for a few extra minutes. I can bring ya over some clothes later when I bring your lunch."
"That'll be fine. I can manage until then. It's not as if I was expecting anything besides a T-shirt and sweat pants anyway, so...how about we stop talking about clothing and just concentrate on greeting each other properly?" And with that John leaned over and captured Dave's mouth for a long and heart-felt kiss. The clothes could definitely wait, especially since having them delivered with lunch might result in some further physical activity similar to what had happened at breakfast. At least, that's what John was hoping to have happen.
Dave was *not* going to complain about that greeting, and, as the kiss ended, he kept his hand around the back of John's neck, as a smile spread across his lips. "Well, if that's the kinda greetin' I get when I forget your clothes, I can't wait to see what else you have in store for me when I remember to bring them," he teased as he planted another soft kiss on the man's lips. Dave knew that he didn't have time to fully fool around, and he didn't want to be in the middle of something when Mrs. Carter paged, but that didn't mean that they didn't have time for a full-fledged make-out session.
"I think I can come up with something mind blowing as a proper greeting for later," John said between kisses. He was keeping his hands busy by running them under Dave's shirt and up to his nipples, wishing he could be kissing Dave there instead. But, he knew Dave was technically working, and having sex at work just wasn't something to be done. But John definitely couldn't resist a bit of teasing until Dave's lunch break came around.
"Hmm...you know, you're a tease...but that doesn't mean I don't love what you're doin'" Dave said, as they came up for air once more. His cock was definitely reacting to John, there was little that he could do to control that. But he absolutely loved the effect that John continued to have on him. Dave didn't see that waning any time soon.
"Me?" John asked with a laugh. He took one of Dave's hands and placed it against the soft cotton fabric that covered his crotch, sure that Dave could feel just how hard he was from a few kisses and touching Dave. "Look at what you've done to me just by kissing me and then you call me a tease."
"Hmm...okay, so maybe I'm a tease, too...but, just think how much better this is gonna be when we can complete what we've started," he said, as he guided John's hand to the same area of Dave's body. "And as you can see, you have a similar effect on me. Good thing we both like to do this, huh?" Dave's voice was teasing, and he had a grin on his lips that was about as large as the hard on he was already sporting.
"Oh, it's definitely a good thing. Although I really don't see any reason why you should be made to wait. I know we can't get too involved, not with you expecting to be paged soon, but I could definitely do something to take care of this swelling," John said as he pressed his hand against Dave's erection. "I'll bet I could suck you off long before that page gets here."
Dave was tempted...really, really tempted, but then what if someone came over? Or someone called instead of paging him? Then he'd be literally caught with his pants around his ankles on the job...again. He was going to refuse, but John's hand pressing into Dave's crotch convinced him otherwise. "It...hardly seems fair," Dave managed to say, as his breathing became more labored. "What...what about...you? I'd hate for you to...not get a chance to do anything..." Dave's mind involuntarily went back to a time when John had pleasured himself in front of him. And Dave found himself wishing that they had time to do that.
John slowly smiled. "I can wait for my lunch. You'll have more time then, right?" He asked as he slipped off the couch and to the floor. Raising up on his knees, John began to undo Dave's pants. He hadn't even reached the zipper when a beeping sound echoed in the room - Dave's pager. Or someone's pager, John thought, hoping it was his and not Dave's.
Dave's hand involuntarily went to his waistband, and he sighed as he looked at the number. "Ah...man, it's the house. I haveta get goin'...but, uh...uh...we're gonna have a *great* lunch when I get back over here though," he said, as he reached for John once more. He needed to kiss the man again before he went about his day. As it was, he was wondering if he was going to have to sneak off to a bathroom somewhere to take care of business -- but the thought of Mrs. Carter walking in on him, took away any edge that Dave had. Dave pulled John into one last kiss. "I'll be back around lunchtime, okay?"
John sighed against Dave's lips. "I'll be here," he said. As Dave straightened out his clothing, John pulled himself back up on the couch, only slightly disappointed that they had been stopped. As Dave had pointed out, lunch was going to be great, and John couldn't help but smile over that.
Dave ran a hand through his hair to try to look presentable, and before he could change his mind and blow the whole thing off, he was out the door and back across the lawn towards the main house. He was able to better focus once away from John, and Dave realized that what was going to happen would to be less than easy to deal with.
He opened the door to the main house, and stood in the hallway as he listened for voices.
"Dave, we're in the study," Dr. Meyer said as he approached Dave from the music room. "I don't know if Millicent filled you in, but I've brought along a colleague of mine, a psychiatrist to be exact. I've told him all I know about the situation and what John's been though the past few years, but I thought you might be able to fill in some blanks. His name is Jeff DiLeo, and his specialty is trauma of all kinds, including sexual abuse."
Dave turned to face the doorway from where Dr. Meyers came, and nodded as the man finished speaking. "Okay, lead the way," he said, as he followed Dr. Meyers into the study. Dave was hoping that this Dr. DiLeo could help John, or at least give them advice on how to better handle John, and help him through the obvious mess that he was. It was just a shame that it had come down to this.
To be continued.