Author/pseudonym: MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Email address: monaCK2@yahoo.com and huntersglenn@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17
Status: Finished
Pairing: John Carter/Luka Kovac/Dave Malucci
Date: February 2, 2004
Archive: Please ask first
Series: 38/?
Category: "E.R."
Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure. The title of the story was inspired by the Jimmy Buffett song of the same name, and no infringement is intended. The story can be found on the following web sites: http://www.heresmona.com/fanfic.html
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Boutique/7087/, and
http://www.errealmofslash.com
Summary: It's a slashy A/U story about how Season 8 might have been and contains no spoilers for the current season. There is a warning for slight descriptions of child sexual abuse.
"Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes, Part 38"
By MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Millicent looked up as the three men entered the room. "Would any of you care for something to drink?" she asked.
Both Dr. Meyers and Dr. DiLeo declined her offer as they sat down. Dr. DiLeo spoke first. "I understand that you called John's parents to come home?"
"That's correct. They're arriving this morning and should be here before noon. I've also arranged for Jenny, the woman who apparently abused John, to be here as well," Millicent informed him.
Dr. DiLeo frowned. "I'm not so sure that that's a good idea. If John has no idea that she's here and he sees her, then he might have a severe reaction to her presence."
"There's no danger of that," Millicent quickly assured him. "He's over in the guest cottage and unable to walk over here."
Dave nodded. "Yeah. I told him that I would go back over, and bring him his lunch and a change of clothes in a little while...and yeah...I also advised him to stay off his feet because he hurt them pretty badly yesterday, as Dr. Meyers knows," Dave said, as he looked towards the other man. Dave couldn't help but wonder what would happen when John's parents arrived. Would they try to deny everything?
Dr. DiLeo nodded. "Aaron told me that John hurt himself yesterday after throwing nearly every breakable thing in his room. He didn't require any stitches, did he?"
Dave shook his head. "No. They have to be bandaged, but the cuts weren't deep enough to need to be stitched. In fact, they're no longer bleedin' at all...his feet are just a little bit bruised. And he really *should* be okay by tomorrow, assumin' he keeps offa them like he's supposed to today," he answered, as his mind involuntarily went back to the way John had nearly collapsed trying to get to the bathroom the night before. That had scared the Hell out of Dave, even though he wasn't one to admit it.
"And I have to say," Dave continued, as he tried to get his mind back on the subject at hand. "It can be a bit frustrating...overall he really seems okay...but I know deep down he's not...and uh, it makes it difficult...ya know?" Dave had heard what Mrs. Carter had said about Dr. DiLeo being Dr. Meyers's partner, but he didn't know exactly how much he should or shouldn't say.
Dr. Meyers nodded, then looked over at Dr. DiLeo before looking over at Dave. "I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty of filling Jeff in on what happened yesterday as well as all I know about John. And that includes the situation between you and him and Dr. Kovac. We're not judging you, Dave, or John either, for that matter, but Jeff does feel that the sexual and emotional aspect of this triangle is putting extra pressure on John, and probably is causing a lot of his repressed feelings about the abuse to surface, even though he denies the abuse."
Dave nodded. "Yeah...it's okay that you're updated," he said, as he looked at the two men. "In fact, it makes things easier for me since I can just sorta talk about things instead of skirtin' around the issue." The fact that the doctor thought that the triangle that they were in was part of the reason that John was like this didn't surprise Dave at all. But it did make Dave feel a bit guiltier. After all, if Dave had just opened up...but then again, maybe these problems would have never been brought to the surface. Maybe there was a reason that it all happened.
"I know that you probably feel that anything John told you is private, Dr. Malucci, but if it might help us figure out a way to help John, then I really need to know what he's told you, not only about Jenny, but about that other person...Alex, was it?" Dr. DiLeo looked over at Millicent, who nodded. Since she had left John's room shortly after the mention of the young man from boarding school, she hadn't heard the full story, but she did know that something had happened that shouldn't have.
Dave nodded again. "Yeah, I feel a little funny talkin' about it...but, I wanna help him.. I want him to get better, I really do. I mean...I care about him so much. But yeah...you know that already. Okay, this is what I know..."
Dave then went into the whole story of Alex, about how Alex had been John's boarding school roommate, how Dave suspected that Alex had forced himself on John and basically used John to get off with every once in a while. And after he was finished, he took a deep breath.
"So...that's the basic story..."
Dr. DiLeo sighed and shook his head. "I can't deny that I really feel that John desperately needs to be in therapy right now, but I can't force him to become my patient. Do any of you know what kind of therapy he had while in Atlanta? Did they only touch on his drug abuse or did they even try to delve deeper? I'm only asking because based on all I've heard, I'd say that the drug addiction was only partly due to his physical and emotional problems that he encountered after being stabbed."
"John has never really spoken to me about Atlanta," Millicent admitted. She looked over at Dave, worry in her eyes. "Has he mentioned anything about it to you?"
Dave shrugged. "He hasn't spoken much to me about Atlanta at all. And I honestly hadn't thought to ask. I always assumed that if John wanted to talk about it, he would. But he never really has. Most of what I've gotten outta him about Jenny and Alex has been after a meltdown of some sort..." Dave was truly worried. Was John going to end up institutionalized? Dave sincerely hoped they could avoid that. If nothing else, Dave was sure that John would never forgive him.
"He keeps things to himself then?" Dr. DiLeo asked.
"Yes, although his eyes manage to give so much away," Millicent said. "John has a very difficult time lying, his mannerisms give him away every time. He'll tell you 'no' even as he's slightly nodding, or vice versa, but when it comes to getting him to talk about his feelings or things that are bothering him, he often tries to pretend that nothing's wrong at all."
"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up," Dave quipped, as he looked from Mrs. Carter to Dr. DiLeo. "I always know when he's not tellin' the truth. And I always know when he's hidin' something from me. Even though I ask him things, I try not to push him too much, ya know? I've done enough pushin'...I don't want to end up sendin' him to someone who isn't gonna question him as much...."
"And you're afraid that Dr. Kovac would just let John get away with hiding things?" Dr. DiLeo asked, clearly interested in Dave's answer.
That was exactly what Dave was thinking, and he was momentarily surprised that Dr. DiLeo was able to figure that out. "I...I really don't wanna bad mouth the guy, but Luka can be...rather compliant. He goes with the flow, and doesn't like to rock the boat. I honestly think that he would rather things not come out at all so he and John could live together in happiness instead of the problems comin' to the surface like these have. I...the way it happened probably wasn't best, but I had no idea how deep this was affectin' John until we got into that fight a few weeks ago. And while I think Luka really does care about John...I don't think that he would try to...push things with him, ya know what I mean?"
Dr. DiLeo opened his mouth to respond when they all heard voices from the entryway. Millicent looked at the three men. "I do believe that Jack and Eleanor are here, although it looks as though their flights were a little early."
And then the couple was in the doorway, both of them looking flustered. "Mother," Jack began and then he noticed the others in the room. He recognized Dr. Meyers, but not the other two men. "I didn't realize you had company."
"I don't. You remember Dr. Meyers, I'm sure. This is Dr. Dave Malucci, he's working with Dr. Meyer on my home care, and this is Dr. Jeff DiLeo, a colleague of Dr. Meyers'. Would the two of you care for something to drink before we get around to discussing why I asked the two of you to come home?"
"Not really. I'm not used to being summoned without explanation, Mother," Jack said as he walked over to her, doing his best to ignore his wife. He had not been expecting to see Eleanor at all, and had been quite taken by surprise when Algier had informed him that they had to wait for Eleanor's flight to land before they could head to the house. "Is something wrong with you that John can't handle, is that why you called us here?"
Eleanor Carter was *not* a happy woman. And truth be told, it was only out of fear that something was wrong with John that she was at this house to begin with -- because as far as she was concerned, other than John, the rest of the Carter family was completely useless. She stood stoically at the door as her husband spoke, and finally dared to voice her own opinions of the situation when her husband finally stopped. That man could *talk* about nothing for so long, it was no wonder that they had finally separated.
"Millicent. I hope you have a good reason for calling us all here. As it was, I had a charity event I had to cancel in order to be here."
Millicent looked up coldly at Eleanor, even though she knew that if the news was indeed news to Eleanor then the woman would be devastated. What Millicent didn't know was in what way -- would it be on behalf of John or because of the near scandal? "I called you both here because something is very wrong with John. And I think that Jack can tell us a lot more about it than what John's been able to reveal."
"Me?" Jack was at a loss as to what his mother meant, and then it hit him that she had to be talking about the divorce. Why else would she also call Eleanor? "Mother, John is thirty-one years old, Hell, we might as well say he's thirty-two since his birthday will be here soon. He should be able to handle the fact that his parents are getting a divorce. It's about time he grew up, don't you think? And I really don't see any reason why you need three doctors here to listen to our family's dirty laundry."
Eleanor looked bewilderedly from Jack back to her mother-in-law. Ignoring her husband's mindless quips, her expression changed ever so slightly as she looked towards the older woman. "What's wrong with John, Millicent?" For her son was the only thing that she *would* step out of her busy social schedule for, even though she'd be the last to admit it.
"Again, I think that it would be best to ask that of Jack," Millicent replied as she eyed her son again. "I hate to be brutal, but there's no other way to say this. John was sexually abused years ago and Jack has been keeping it a secret for all these years."
Jack paled as his mother's words sank in. She had found out about Jenny and John? "How...what...did John tell you this?" He didn't even want to think about the day he had walked into John's bedroom to find his son performing oral sex on the maid. John had only been eleven and obviously hadn't been the instigator. Jack had handled things rather quickly, assuring John he wasn't to blame for what happened and making sure that Jenny could never get near John again. It had all been kept quiet and now Millicent was implying that everyone in the room knew -- everyone except Eleanor.
Eleanor's pale face turned even whiter as she listened to Jack and Millicent speak. And intense eyes around her told the woman that Millicent was not pulling the story from thin air. John...abused? Sexually? How could she *not* have known. "Jack? Do you care to explain...this?" There was a certain anger building up inside of her, a quiet anger. One that would explode once the exact object of her fury was realized. And who better than her soon to be ex-husband to be the recipient of that wrath? "You always did lie about as well as John...so don't even try to say that you have no idea what's going on. It's in your eyes, and it's written on your face."
Jack nervously wet his lips, reluctant to tell the story in front of virtual strangers, even if they did seem to know what was going on. "This is a family matter, Mother. I see no need for your doctors to be here."
"And I see every need for them to be here, Jack. Dr. Meyers was here yesterday when John experienced a partial breakdown, as was Dr. Malucci. And Dr. DiLeo is a psychiatrist who specializes in trauma. Right now, I want to know why you felt the need to keep this a secret and why you never even tried to get any kind of help for John."
"John didn't need any psychiatric help, Mother. It was a one-time thing and he was able to see that it wasn't his fault. Once he was at boarding school and safely away from Chicago, he got past what had happened. All he needed was to be away from the house, our house, and...her. Since I fired her, John didn't have to worry about seeing her again. Besides, just how psychologically damaging can it be to do what he was doing?"
Dave could finally hold his silence no longer, and spoke up. His voice was soft, because he didn't want to show John's parents any disrespect. "I don't think that's entirely true, Mr. Carter," Dave found himself saying, as he looked at the rest of the people in the room. "From what I've understood, the things with Jenny happened pretty regularly...and uhm...he didn't exactly have an easy go of it when he went away to boarding school..."
Eleanor's eyes were wild as she looked back towards the young doctor. "Oh? And what is your assessment of what happened when he was away at school? What exactly are we talking about here?"
Dave looked over towards Mrs. Carter, and then back towards Millicent, needing the support of the majority of the room to speak. "We're reasonably certain that there was an abuse situation there, too."
"You're out of your mind, Dr. Malucci," Jack snapped. "I thoroughly investigated that school before I sent John there and the staff was entirely above board, with never a hint of impropriety. I don't know what gave you the idea that something happened to John while he was there, but you're wrong. He certainly never mentioned anything about it."
"Jack, sit down and listen," Millicent spoke up. "John is the one who said that something happened there, and it wasn't anyone on staff, it was with his roommate. And John is also the one who has more or less indicated that there was more than one incident with Jenny. We'll be able to find out more about that since I've had Corrine ask Jenny to be here by noon."
Millicent looked over at Eleanor. "You should sit down, as well, Eleanor. There's no telling how long it will take to go over everything."
***************
Luka had managed to work his half shift without anything major happening. And it had taken some convincing of Kerry, but he had managed to trade in his day off in order to be able to take a half of a day to go back to the house. When he had spoken to Mrs. Carter on the phone, Luka had agreed that bringing everyone in was probably for the best.
As he took his things out of his locker, he ran a weary hand through his hair. And after a final look around, pushed his way out and headed into the lounge.
Aside from knowing that John's parents would be there, Luka had no idea what he would be facing when he got back to the Carter estate, which bothered him more than the situation itself. And as he pulled up to the house and cut off the engine of his car, he hesitated for a moment longer before heading inside. And then finally, he could not wait any longer.
Luka made his way in, making his way towards the voices which seemed to be coming from the study. They sounded agitated -- that couldn't be good. He entered the doorway, and softly cleared his throat to let the others know that he was there.
"And...who the Hell are you? Another doctor?" That was the voice of a woman who he assumed was Eleanor Carter, and who was becoming more and more agitated as she spoke.
"This is Dr. Luka Kovac," Millicent calmly said. "Dr. Kovac, this is my daughter-in-law, Eleanor Carter, and my son, Jack. The other gentleman here with us is Dr. Jeff DiLeo, a psychiatrist who came here with Dr. Meyers." Even though Millicent was on a first name basis with Luka, she didn't feel it was quite yet time to let Jack and Eleanor know that, or just what the relationship was between John, Luka and Dave.
Dr. DiLeo looked over at Luka, giving the man a quick assessment. He wanted to get a chance to talk with both of John's love interests before talking with John as he felt that the personalities of the men John had fallen in love with would be able to give him a pretty good idea of what was going on inside of John's head. "It's good to meet you, Dr. Kovac. Please come in and have a seat. We were just establishing that John was sexually abused while at school as well as at home. Did you have anything you'd like to add to our discussion?"
"What in the Hell could he have to add?" Jack angrily demanded. He didn't want to believe that John had been abused at school. He had sent John away to keep him safe, dammitt, so something like that just could NOT have happened. And now they were trying to tell him that Jenny had been abusing John over a long period of time? That just couldn't be possible, either. The little bitch had assured him that she had never touched John aside from that day.
"Jack, if you'd please just sit down and listen, then I'm sure you'll get all your answers," Millicent calmly said. Her anger at her son had dissipated quite a bit as she saw that he had truly thought that John had only been abused one time, although she still felt he was wrong to not tell her or JC about it. Or Eleanor, for that matter. Not that it would have done much good at the time, since she had been lost in her grief over losing Bobby.
Luka looked at the dynamics of the room with a bit of interest. His eyes locked with Dave's -- like it or not, they *were* in this together, for a common interest. After making his way to an empty chair in the room, his gaze locked on the doctor who had asked him the question. Luka paused for a moment, pondering the query in his mind.
"I'm not sure what already has been shared, but I can only tell you what John told me," Luka said, his voice soft. And then he too told the story, in his own way, of John's experiences as he knew them. From the little he knew of Jenny, to the full story of John's roommate Alex.
"So...it was because of this...that we all came to the conclusion that there is abuse in John's background, coupled with the...way that he has broken down in the past...Dave? Did you tell him about that one time...?"
Dave looked up, and shook his head. "No...not all the details. But, uh...after John and I had gotten into a disagreement, shall we say, I came back to apologize.. and it was like...a different John was there, a little boy or somethin'. He kept thinkin' that we were gonna force him to have sex, and he kept cryin' that he didn't want to...that he would in the morning...but that he didn't want to...and no matter how much Luka and I tried to convince him that wasn't our intention...he wasn't hearin' any of it..."
"Why on earth would John even remotely think that either one of you would want to have sex with him?" Jack asked as that was the one thing his whirling thoughts could single out from all he had heard. His heart was breaking for his son, and Jack was beginning to doubt if he had ever been a decent and good father, to Bobby or to John or Barbara, at any time in their lives.
Dave was beginning to get angry. "Because he was *abused* by his roommate, Mr. Carter, and I'm sorry if you're havin' a hard time acceptin' it, but at that moment, he thought that either Luka or I were gonna attack him!" He turned around to Mrs. Carter, truly apologetic towards her for losing his temper, but he was a man of very little patience, and Mr. Carter was stamping on the last nerve of it.
"And I want to know why the two of you were in any kind of a situation where John would even think such a thing," Jack shot back. It didn't make any sense to him that his mother's latest doctor would have been having an argument with John, AND have yet another doctor nearby at the time. Unless they had all worked together at that shoddy little hospital? "Did this happen at work? Is that why the two of you were there?" he demanded to know.
"Jack, it's not important, is it?" Millicent said, her voice beginning to show signs that she was becoming exasperated with her son. "What matters is that John had some sort of a collapse and thought that it would happen. That makes two collapses that he's had in a month's time and I'm afraid that he's going to collapse again and again until this is resolved."
"Mrs. Carter might be right," Dr. DiLeo spoke up. "The more that John tries to deny that anything wrong happened to him, the more it increases the chances that he'll have another emotional collapse."
"And you've based that observation on your sessions with him?" Jack angrily asked.
"I haven't yet met John," Dr. DiLeo admitted.
"Then I think you need to sit there and keep your mouth shut until you can actually talk about something or someone you know about," Jack said with a sneer.
"I think that we all need to calm down," Luka finally said, after a moment's silence. "All of us arguing like this isn't going to help matters. Mr. Carter, Dave and I are your son's friends, as well as colleagues. It's why we are here. And it's why we care so much about his well being, we wouldn't be here otherwise."
Eleanor sat watching the scene unfolding, pale-faced. The more she heard, the more she realized...her son...her baby boy...was *abused* right under her nose, and she never knew it. She very carefully stood up from her chair.
"I...I think I need to go freshen up," she said, knowing full well she was only a few steps away from a breakdown herself, and she certainly wasn't going to lose her cool in front of the family. Elegantly she made her way into the powder room in the hall, and shut the door behind her. Only then did she look in the mirror. And turning on the water in the sink, she allowed herself to finally cry.
Jack watched his wife walk away, knowing that she was barely holding her emotions in check and feeling guilty over the fact that they were separated and he wasn't able to comfort her at all. But, Eleanor would survive, she always did. Right then, Jack had to think about John and he began to wonder just where his son was right then. "Where is John? At work? He's not going to come waltzing in here while we're discussing him, is he?"
Luka was wondering this himself, and he looked over to Millicent and Dave questioningly. Dave returned the glance, and shook his head. "No. He's over at the cottage right now. And no, he won't be comin' over here. He hurt his feet durin' his breakdown yesterday, and he can't walk," Dave simply said, hoping that no one would question him.
Luka's head then snapped fully over to Dave. He didn't say a word, but his look said it all -- YOU spent the night with John last night...after everything that had happened? Luka couldn't quite believe it.
Once again, Jack found himself wondering just what was going on. "The cottage has been unused for years, why would John be over there right now? And if his feet were so badly injured, how did he get there in the first place?" Jack looked from Dr. Malucci to his mother and then back at the man who seemed to have all the answers, or non-answers, in Jack's opinion - Dr. Malucci. Jack started for the door. "I'm going to go check on him."
"Jack, sit down," Millicent sternly said. "If John sees you then he'll wonder why you're here and he'll want to come over here. With Jenny due to arrive here shortly, that just isn't a good idea."
"I don't think it's a good idea to have that little bitch in this house in the first place, Mother, but you obviously didn't see the need to consult me about what was best for my son, did you?"
Dave snapped his head over towards the elder man. "As Dr. Kovac already explained to you, John and I are friends. I'm stayin' over at the cottage as I've been hired on to be your mother's personal physician. John was over there visitin' with me last night, and he couldn't quite make the trip back. I was too tired to drive him, so he stayed there. Because of everythin' going on today, we decided it would be best to tell John to stay at the cottage. And trust me, Mr. Carter, I'm about as happy to see this bitch as you are, but I think it might be the only way to get the truth as to what happened..." The nerve of this guy -- coming in after being away for so long, and expecting everyone to just *listen* to him. No wonder John didn't get along with his father.
"The best way to get the truth would be to tell John to quit hiding and to tell us everything," Jack said, but he finally sat down, even though his temper was still just below a rage. "John can't lie worth a damn and he's always so overeager to please me that if I told him I expected the truth from him, he'd tell me."
Eleanor in the meantime had taken a few moments to compose herself in the bathroom, and her husband did not know that she was about to enter the room when he spoke. "Maybe if you had told *me* in the first place that the abuse was going on, there wouldn't have been an issue. And I happen to agree with the doctors here...if we try to pressure him into telling you, he's going to run in the other direction, Jack! Haven't we pushed our son away enough for one lifetime? Damn it, Jack!"
"We? Just where do you think there's ever been a 'we' involved here, Eleanor? The only reason that bitch managed to get her hands on my son is because his mother was so wrapped up in her own little world of grief that she never had time for him. You are the one that ignored John time and time again. He was a little boy and when he got hurt he had to come to me for the bandages and comfort that he should have been getting from you. But I couldn't be there all the time, Eleanor, and we made the mistake of trusting that Jenny, someone we knew for years, would take care of him. It's no wonder John's screwed up since you've done such a wonderful job with him," Jack retorted, his pent-up feelings finally finding an outlet.
Eleanor's eyes were ablaze with anger and fury. But very calmly, she walked over to her husband, and slapped him hard across the face. "Don't you even *try* to peg this on me, you son of a bitch. You *knew* that he was being abused and did *nothing* but send him away. YOU LET THIS HAPPEN YOU SON OF A BITCH...NOT ME...YOU!!"
Luka was stupefied into silence. And Dave didn't know what to do with himself. He just sat back, casting worried glances over towards Mrs. Carter to make sure that she wasn't having any ill effects from this absolutely unbelievable scene.
"Eleanor, as much as Jack may have had that coming, I'd like it if you'd sit down again. When Jenny arrives we'll need to present a united front and if she sees you beating the living daylights out of your husband then she'll know that we're divided," Millicent found herself wishing that her physical therapy was further along so that she could easily get to her feet to slap her son for what he had said. Somehow she didn't think he'd bend down to give her that opportunity.
Eleanor immediately straightened, and, as if she had done nothing out of the ordinary, she again had a stoic impression on her face as she made her way over to her seat. Nodding towards Millicent, she then spoke once more. "What time is this...is Jenny...supposed to be here, Millicent?"
Her voice was once again calm and devoid of emotion. If she removed herself, ever so slightly, she could deal with this. Because as it was, it was all just a bit too much for her to handle.
"Soon," Millicent replied, and she caught a movement at the doorway, and then saw Corrine standing there. "I believe she's here now." Corrine nodded, her face a mixture of grim and grief-stricken. "Please send her in, Corrine. And you're more than welcome to stay. She is your niece, after all."
"Please, don't remind me of that, Mrs. Carter," Corrine said as she turned to go to the kitchen to bring her niece to the study.
Millicent looked around the room. "Remember, we're all united in this."
And then Corrine was back with Jenny right behind her. The woman didn't look all that different than she had twenty years earlier, except for a few wrinkles and some grey to her hair. For the first time, Millicent noted the physical similarities between Jenny and Eleanor -- the same bone structure of the face, the same shade of brown to the eyes, she even carried herself the way Eleanor did. And no wonder, since Jenny had been around Eleanor for years before she had been hired by them as a maid. The young girl who had played with John when he was barely a toddler had turned into a young woman that he trusted, someone he knew. Someone they all knew and trusted. As a devoted servant, Jenny had seemed to follow in the footsteps of her aunt, and yet now they were all finding that Jenny's devotion had been lacking, so very sorely lacking.
To be continued