Still silent, Kid finally stepped toward Jimmy, crossing the small distance between them and wrapping his arms around him. Kid's lips were soft on Jimmy's face as he began to kiss him and Jimmy felt the last of his control slip away as his hands feverishly worked to undress Kid.
As Jimmy's hands roved over hot flesh, he could feel Kid's hands on his body and a part of his mind noted that he was now stripped to the waist as well. Kid had been busy. They had to step away from each other long enough to remove the rest of their clothes and then they were both naked and very aroused for and from each other.
Jimmy slowly grinned as his eyes took in their fill of Kid. "You still haven't answered my question, Kid. Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"To tell you the truth, Jimmy, I hadn't given much thought to sleeping tonight."
"I like the way you think, Kid."
This time it was Jimmy who closed the space between them as he embraced Kid and pushed him to the bed. Jimmy felt as if he were a madman as he couldn't get enough of Kid's body. He would no sooner begin to kiss or caress a tender spot when he felt the need to kiss somewhere else. It had been so long since he had Kid laying before him like this and he felt greedy. Jimmy wanted all of Kid and he wanted him all at once. As Jimmy licked his way down Kid's throat toward his belly, he could hear Kid's moans. Every time Kid said "Jimmy" in a strangled voice, it would send shivers down Jimmy's body and his own penis would tingle with anticipation of what was still to come.
Jimmy's mouth closed over Kid's erection and Jimmy's mind became centered on pleasing Kid, bringing him release this way. As Kid bucked his hips upward, seeking more of Jimmy's mouth, Jimmy was able to wet a finger and slowly slide it across Kid's opening, making the man shiver. It had always been a rush of power for Jimmy to see how easy it was for him to control Kid's body and the passage of years had not diminished that feeling. Jimmy wanted nothing more than to lazily play with Kid in much the same manner that Kid had tormented him the first time they had ever been together. But, Jimmy's own desire was taking precedence at the moment. He wanted and needed to be inside Kid, but he still wanted Kid to gain relief. Jimmy tightened his lips around the velvety smooth penis in his mouth and within minutes had Kid crying out his name and clutching the bed covers as he came.
Jimmy gazed lovingly at Kid's face, taking in the flushed skin, swollen lips and closed eyes. Kid was panting and Jimmy could see the veins in Kid's neck rapidly throbbing in the aftermath of release. As Jimmy watched, Kid slowly opened his eyes and grinned at him.
"Thank you," Kid softly said.
"No, thank you," Jimmy said. Then he realized that the next part would be much easier for them both if he had something to use as a lubricant. "Got any grease around here?"
"Kitchen. Lou keeps...there's a can on the shelf to the right of the sink."
"I'll be right back." Jimmy hurried out of the room and downstairs, cursing every time he bumped into a piece of furniture. But there was no time to light a lamp. He found the can and hurried upstairs, sure that he managed to hit the same furniture on the way back that he had run into on the way down. He would certainly be bruised come morning.
Jimmy had to pause when he entered the bedroom and saw that Kid was now on his stomach, ready and waiting for him.
Kid turned his head to look over his shoulder at Jimmy. "Well? Do you plan to take me or not?"
"I plan on it." Jimmy forced himself to slowly walk to the bed. Take your time, he told himself. Don't let Kid think that you're the only person you've been able to think about for years. Don't give him that power over you.
Jimmy dipped his fingers into the can and slowly coated his penis. Kid's body was shaking and Jimmy had a feeling that it wasn't from passion or being cold. Kid was laughing at him.
"And just what is so funny right now?"
"You're going to smell like bacon in the morning," Kid snickered.
"Oh yeah?" Jimmy scooped a good amount of grease onto his fingers and quickly rubbed it over Kid. "So are you."
"That's cold," Kid exclaimed, even as his hips wriggled. A low moan then reached Jimmy's ears, mainly due to the fact that Jimmy was putting his fingers to good use getting Kid stretched for him. Others quickly followed that moan until Jimmy was sure that he wouldn't hurt Kid as he entered the tightness of his body.
Positioning himself between Kid's legs, Jimmy slowly pushed inside, the immediate heat and tightness nearly making him lose control right then. Taking deep breaths to steady himself, Jimmy grabbed Kid's hips, holding him in place. One wrong -- or right, as the case may be -- move on Kid's part would end this right here and now.
"You okay?" Kid anxiously asked.
"I'm fine. Give me a second," Jimmy replied.
Kid nodded and Jimmy continued to breathe deeply. Finally he felt that he was in control once more and he continued to push inward until he was completely inside of Kid. God! It had been ages since he had felt this. He had missed Kid so much and Jimmy found himself near tears as he relished the feelings. As he began to thrust and Kid joined with him, control slipped away from them both. Jimmy thrust fast and hard and neither one of them noticed the creaking of the bed or the thumping of the headboard against the wall because of the violence of their movements.
"Yes, Jimmy! Harder!" Kid cried out. Jimmy did his best to accommodate Kid's request, going faster and deeper than he had ever gone before until his vision flooded with red and all he could hear was a roaring in his ears. Jimmy's body suddenly stiffened and he called out Kid's name as he emptied his seed into his lover over and over. Finally spent, Jimmy collapsed against Kid's back, thinking that if he was dying then he couldn't think of a better place or way to die. His heartbeat gradually slowed and Jimmy had enough strength to move. Rolling to the side, he pulled Kid close and they kissed passionately, thanking each other for the precious gifts they had exchanged.
"I still have plans for more tonight," Kid said as he lightly rubbed his hand over Jimmy's back.
"So do I. But I think we can take the time to talk, can't we?"
"I don't remember you bein' much of a talker, Jimmy. You usually fell asleep pretty quickly."
"Only when it was night. And I want to talk now. I want to tell you how much this means to me. How much you mean to me, Kid. I'll always love you."
Their eyes met and Jimmy could see unshed tears in Kid's. He could feel tears in his own, but he didn't care. It was important that Kid know his feelings, especially since he didn't know when he would ever see Kid again.
"I know. I'll always love you, too, James Butler Hickok."
They kissed again and then Kid laid his head on Jimmy's chest. "Stay."
"I can't. I wish I could, but I can't. I know I ain't Army, but I promised to scout for them and I aim to keep that promise."
"I wish the war was over." Kid's breath was soft against Jimmy's chest, almost tickling.
"Me, too. Maybe when it is all over I'll come back here."
They were both silent after that, each one knowing that Jimmy wouldn't return to Sweetwater when the war ended. He would find another excuse to stay away.
"You won't be alone, Kid. Buck cares a lot about you."
"I know."
"Give him a chance and you just might find yourself falling in love with him. That is, if that's what you want for your future."
"I ain't never gonna get another woman pregnant, Jimmy. I killed Lou with my baby and I refuse to do that to someone else. The only way to make sure that never happens is to stay away from women."
"You can't think like that, Kid. It wasn't your fault. From what I remember of Lou's father, he was a big man. Things happen that are beyond our control."
"Well, I can control who I sleep with," Kid said. The determination in his voice let Jimmy know that Kid was serious about this. The only thing Jimmy could do was hope that one day Kid would change his mind. It was Jimmy's opinion that Kid would make a great daddy. The way Kid handled Teresa spoke volumes about his potential as a parent. But, if Kid was serious, then he couldn't do worse than to be with Buck, and it was plain that Buck loved Kid. Jimmy then wondered if Buck and Kid had ever been together? If so then it probably happened back when they were all riders, back before Kid and Lou got married. Jimmy felt another jolt of jealousy at the thought that Buck might have been with Kid first. Kid had never revealed to Jimmy how he knew to do the things he did so well. All he would say is that he had been with men before.
Men. Plural, not a single man. That had bothered Jimmy back then and it bothered Jimmy now. Not that he had a better past. He had been with more than one man in his life. Still, he had wanted to be the Kid's one and only, just as Lou was the only woman Kid had ever taken to bed. Jimmy sighed.
"What's wrong?" Kid tilted his head back to look at Jimmy, his blue eyes dark with desire once more.
"Nothing." Jimmy ran a hand softly over Kid's hip and up his side. "I was thinking it was time to start wasting the night away."
"I like the way you think, Jimmy," Kid said as he lowered his head to Jimmy's chest, seeking out something to suck.
Jimmy sighed again, but this time with pleasure and not sadness. He couldn't think of a better way to spend the night.
It was a little over a week later when Jimmy decided to leave. Kid was in town picking up Teresa from school and getting supplies. Jimmy had just finished saddling his horse when he saw Buck walking toward him.
"You're leaving without saying goodbye?" Buck asked.
"I figured it would be easier this way," Jimmy replied.
"Easier on you or Kid?"
"Both. He knows I can't stay." Jimmy mounted the horse and smiled down at Buck.
"Take care of him, Buck."
"I will. Anything you want me to tell him?"
Jimmy shook his head. "Nope. I left him a letter." Jimmy had spent nearly all day on that letter, telling Kid how much he loved him. Telling Kid goodbye. Jimmy had placed it on Kid's pillow. He knew that Kid would read it the minute he saw it there and Jimmy could only hope that the nights they had spent in that bed were enough to leave only good memories for Kid.
"Take care, Buck."
"I will. Ride safe, Jimmy," Buck replied.
Jimmy smiled at the familiar words as he spurred his horse forward. He stopped by the small cemetery and took off his hat as he looked at Lou's headstone. It had been installed just the day before and was a final reminder that she was gone.
"I know that you loved Kid with all of your heart, but I also know you loved me. And I loved you back, Lou. I just couldn't love you the same way that Kid did. Maybe if I could have, then you and I would have been together. I don't know. I know I love Kid deeply. More deeply than a man should love another man. That scares me. I guess that's part of the reason I can't stay. It all comes so easy to Kid, you know? He loves a person and that's it. Buck's the same way. I know you want him happy, but I can't stay here with him, so maybe he can be happy with Buck. Watch over him, lady. Keep him safe."
Jimmy put his hat back on, then he headed away at a gallop, never looking back at the house where he had once more found love and contentment. With tears streaming down his face, he headed away from all he held dear, knowing that he would never find anything or anyone to take the place of Kid in his heart and soul.
