"Prequel A Most Willing Student"
By: Cathy Roberts
Peter Benton's Elevator Ride:
The doors to the elevator were beginning to close when Benton heard someone call out for him to hold the elevator. He stopped the doors withhis arm and they opened back up just as Carter reached them.
"Thanks." Carter was slightly out of breath as he entered the elevator.
"No problem. What floor?"
"Four."
Benton pushed that button, then re-pushed the button for the surgical floor.
"So, how have you been?" Benton hoped he sounded disinterested in finding out the answer. He didn't want Carter to get the idea that he actually cared about how he was doing.
"Pretty good. How's Lucy working out?"
After she had completed her E.R. rotation, Lucy Knight had begun a surgical rotation with Benton. Benton smiled, "Not too badly. I am getting a little tired of hearing 'Dr. Carter this' and 'Dr. Carter that'. She can do the basic procedures, so that's a big help."
"I'm glad she's doing okay. She couldn't do a thing when she started her E.R. rotation."
"Students seem to have that problem. If I remember correctly, you couldn't do an I.V. when you started your surgical rotation."
Before Carter could reply the elevator shuddered, then came to a lurching halt, throwing both men off balance and into the walls. Carter cursed softly as he rubbed his left shoulder.
"Did you injure your shoulder again?" Benton stepped up to him and gently touched the shoulder in question.
"No. It's okay."
"You're sure?" Benton asked, probing Carter's shoulder. "Once a joint has been dislocated, it has a tendency to dislocate easily."
"I'm fine. I wonder what happened with the elevator? It can't be a power failure because the lights are still on."
"I'm sure they'll have us moving again in no time." Benton took a step back, almost reluctant to break physical contact with Carter. But he knew that if he didn't step back that he would be testing the limits of his self-control.
"I hope you weren't urgently needed in surgery," Carter said.
Benton shook his head, "What about you? Were you in a hurry to get to the maternity ward?"
"No. I had a patient this morning that went into premature labor. We couldn't stop it in the E.R. so we sent her up to Labor and Delivery. I just wanted to see if she was okay and find out if she did have the baby."
Without warning the elevator jerked upward, then dropped a few feet. Benton was thrown forward against Carter, his body pinning the younger man to the wall.
"Are you okay?" Benton asked, afraid that he might have hurt Carter.
"I'm fine. What about you? Are you okay?" Carter was concerned because Benton wasn't trying to move away from him.
"No. I mean, yeah, I'm fine." Benton could feel the warmth of Carter's body against his own and he had to fight the urge to bend his head ever so slightly and kiss Carter. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Are you sure?"
Benton opened his eyes again only to find that Carter was staring at him, his eyes looked worried. Carter reached up and grabbed Benton by his upper arms. "Let me help you."
Benton pulled out of Carter's grasp. "I said I was fine." He walked to the other side of the elevator, determined not to look back at Carter. Knowing that he would see a hurt look on that face. He couldn't bear that.
"Sorry," Carter softly said.
"Forget it," Benton snapped, shoving his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. He hoped the coat was covering him well enough to hide the fact that he was hard. Over the past years he had put a lot of effort into hiding the fact that he cared about Carter. That he wanted John Carter. John Carter was the reason his relationships never worked out. It didn't matter who the woman was: Jeannie, Carla, Elizabeth. After a while of being with either of them, he soon found himself fantasizing that it was Carter who he was kissing. That it was Carter in bed with him. He clenched his fists tightly, relishing the pain as his fingernails dug into his flesh, looking for some distraction to keep him from going in that direction. A distraction that would keep him from doing something stupid. Like walking back over to Carter and kissing him. 'You better get that image out of your mind right now,' he told himself. 'Carter will never love you. Carter will never be in your bed. Just forget about it right now.'
"Are you sure that you're okay?"
Benton jumped as he realized that Carter was at his side. The elevator was suddenly way too small for his comfort.
"I said I was fine. Now drop it, Carter," he snapped.
Carter shook his head, frowning. "I don't understand you at all, Dr. Benton. You refuse to allow anyone to be your friend. Aren't you afraid that one day you'll wake up and realize that you're all alone?"
"My personal life is none of your concern, Carter. It never has been and it never will be."
The elevator cam to life again and this time it kept moving.
The two men silently looked at one another until the doors opened.
"I believe this is your floor, Carter," Benton said.
"Yeah." Carter exited the elevator, then turned around and put his hand on the door to prevent it's closing. "If you ever decide that you want a friend, you know where to find me." With that, Carter dropped his hand and the door slid closed.
Benton slumped against the wall. "Oh, Carter. If you only knew how much I wanted you to be not only my friend, but also my lover, you would run screaming in the other direction. I would prefer to die a lonely man than to have you hate me that way. I love you to much to be able to live with that."
The elevator continued its upward trip in silence.
John Carter's Elevator Ride:
Carter only had ten minutes for his break and he wanted to get up to the fourth floor to check on the pregnant patient he had sent up hours earlier. He saw an open elevator and headed for it, then began to sprint as he saw the doors close.
"Can you hold the elevator, please?" he called out. A dark arm stopped the elevator door and Carter's heart lurched as he hoped it was Peter Benton. It had been a day or two since he had seen Benton and he found himself wishing that it was him in the elevator. Just him and no one else.
"Thanks." Carter was slightly out of breath as he entered the elevator. 'Yes,' he thought, 'We're all alone.'
"No problem. What floor?"
"Four."
Benton pushed that button, then re-pushed the button for the surgical floor.
"So, how have you been?" Benton asked him, the tone of his voice telling Carter that he had asked because it was expected and not because he cared. Some things never changed.
"Pretty good. How's Lucy working out?"
After she had completed her E.R. rotation, Lucy Knight had begun a surgical rotation with Benton. Benton smiled, "Not too badly. I am getting a little tired of hearing 'Dr. Carter this' and 'Dr. Carter that'. She can do the basic procedures, so that's a big help."
"I'm glad she's doing okay. She couldn't do a thing when she started her E.R. rotation."
"Students seem to have that problem. If I remember correctly, you couldn't do an I.V. when you started your surgical rotation."
Before Carter could reply the elevator shuddered, then came to a lurching halt, throwing both men off balance and into the walls. Carter cursed softly as he rubbed his left shoulder. Why did dumb, stupid things always seem to happen to him? And why did this have to happen in front of Benton?
"Did you injure your shoulder again?" Benton stepped up to him and gently touched the shoulder in question.
"No. It's okay." As much as Carter wanted Benton to touch him, he also wanted to avoid having Benton touch him. He remembered the night he had dislocated his shoulder and how pleased he had been to see Benton in the surgical locker room. He had wanted so much for Benton to touch him, to examine his shoulder with his big, but still gentle hands. How much he had wanted Benton to kiss his shoulder and make it all better.
"You're sure?" Benton asked, probing Carter's shoulder. "Once a joint
has been dislocated, it has a tendency to dislocate easily."
"I'm fine. I wonder what happened with the elevator? It can't be a power failure because the lights are still on."
"I'm sure they'll have us moving again in no time." Benton stepped away from him.
"I hope you weren't urgently needed in surgery," Carter said as he turned his body slightly, hoping that Benton wouldn't notice the steadily growing bulge in his pants.
Benton shook his head, "What about you? Were you in a hurry to get to the maternity ward?"
"No. I had a patient this morning that went into premature labor. We couldn't stop it in the E.R. so we sent her up to Labor and Delivery. I just wanted to see if she was okay and find out if she did have the baby." Talking about work helped to make his erection subside. He might actually get through the elevator ride without embarrassing himself.
Without warning the elevator jerked upward, then dropped a few feet. Benton was thrown forward against Carter, his body pinning the younger man to the wall.
"Are you okay?" Benton asked.
"I'm fine. What about you? Are you okay?" Oh yeah, he was fine all right. Benton had him pressed up against the wall and his body was responding to that full force. He was sure that Benton would be able to feel his erection. There was no way he could miss it, could he?
"No. I mean, yeah, I'm fine." Benton answered, then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Benton's face, his lips, were only inches away. Carter thought of how easy it would be to kiss those lips. He knew that once he did that, he would never want to stop. Then his medical training slapped him upside the head. Maybe Benton was injured in some way and that was why he wasn't moving?
"Are you sure?"
Benton opened his eyes again, his dark eyes looked at him intently. Convinced that Benton was in pain, Carter reached up and grabbed Benton by his upper arms. "Let me help you."
Benton pulled out of Carter's grasp. "I said I was fine." He walked to the other side of the elevator. Carter looked down at the floor, knowing that he had screwed up one more time.
"Sorry," Carter softly said.
"Forget it," Benton snapped, shoving his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. Carter could sense the tension in the air and Benton's body language told Carter that Benton was upset with him. Was it because he had felt Carter's erection and was angry? Maybe he hated him now and didn't want Carter to touch him at all. Still, if Benton was hurt, then he was the only one available right now who could help him. Carter slowly approached him and asked, "Are you sure that you're okay?"
Benton jumped and snapped at him, "I said I was fine. Now drop it, Carter."
Carter shook his head, frowning, "I don't understand you at all, Dr. Benton. You refuse to allow anyone to be your friend. Aren't you afraid that one day you'll wake up and realize that you're all alone?" Carter was so afraid that one day he would be alone. Every woman he had ever cared about had ended up dumping him and the only man he had ever been attracted to didn't care if he lived or died.
"My personal life is none of your concern, Carter. It never has been and it never will be."
Carter hated hearing that. As usual, Benton had slammed a door in his face.
The elevator cam to life again and this time it kept moving.
The two men silently looked at one another until the doors opened.
"I believe this is your floor, Carter," Benton said.
"Yeah." Carter exited the elevator, then turned around and put his hand on the door to prevent it's closing. "If you ever decide that you want a friend, you know where to find me." With that, Carter dropped his hand and the door slid closed. Maybe someday Benton would look at him in friendship. Even though Carter so desperately wanted Benton to look at him with something more in those eyes, he would settle for friendship. He would settle for anything besides that look that made him feel as if he were barely being tolerated.
Maybe someday.