Then again, Chris had been right about one thing. Martin didn't want that kind of action all of the time, although he had no idea how Chris knew that. Yes, they'd talked a lot while together, but their talks about sex had centered on what each of them liked, and not that Martin or Chris didn't like that kind of stuff each and every time. And he really didn't want to think about Chris and Danny talking about it.
"I'd say it's more of a male thing," Martin began. "I've always been attracted to both men and women, but with women, it's different. I mean, yes, I want to bring her pleasure, but I expect to get just as much from her. I also want things to be more equal between us. I don't want one or the other deciding what we'll do and how we'll do it, or even when. But with another man, I don't want that. I prefer to have the other guy be the one in charge. Granted, I've had more relationships with women than I've had with men. Hell, I've never really had a relationship with another man." Martin admitted.
He let out a rough sigh as he shoved the chopsticks into the container and placed it on the table. "The week I spent with Chris is probably the longest, continual relationship I've ever had with another guy. There were some guys at clubs that were regulars, and I'd go off with them more than once, but no boyfriends, not even back in school. I really don't know how Chris could assure you of what I'd want, when I've never been in the position to know what I would want from a boyfriend."
Martin looked over at Danny, trying to gauge how he was taking this. But Danny was staring down into his own food container, and Martin couldn't see his eyes. He really needed to see Danny's eyes right then.
"Danny?"
Danny looked over at him, and while his expression seemed unreadable, Martin saw all that he needed to know in those expressive brown eyes. Danny wasn't feeling derision toward him. No, what Martin saw in his eyes was confusion and uncertainty. Based on Danny's admission that he felt he might not be able to satisfy him, Martin ached to put Danny's fears to rest.
"I really enjoyed what we did, even before you pulled out those nipple clamps," Martin said, a genuine smile on his face. He had liked what they'd been doing, and wanted to do it again, and again and again and again. "I wish I could give you a better answer, I really do. But I think that, like with any other couple starting out on a new relationship, we're just going to have to play it by ear and see what happens. I've already promised you that I'll let you know when something gets to be too much for me, and you've pretty much said that you'll let me know if I want something you don't think you can give. I don't think we can ask much more than that, do you?"
Martin hadn't realized just how important this was to him until Danny grinned and nodded. "I think you're right about that."
Martin let out a laugh. While he'd never been in a real relationship before with another man, this was one relationship that he found himself really wanting to work. And it wasn't just because the sex with Danny was so mind-numbing good, but because it was Danny, pure and simple.
Danny put his carton of food on the table and turned his body slightly toward Martin, a serious look now in his eyes. "So, why not a relationship with a man? Was it because of your family?"
Martin shook his head. "No. I had plenty of girlfriends who my parents didn't approve of, and I wouldn't have let their disapproval over me being with a guy get in the way if that's what I wanted," Martin smiled. Some of those girlfriends had been chosen just because he knew that his parents would freak out over them, and there was a part of him that felt like an ass for doing that. Those girls had deserved better, he knew it and he hoped they knew it, too. But he had the sinking thought that they probably thought they'd hit gold when he'd asked them out, and didn't really care about the whys behind his actions. Just as long as they could head back to their dorm rooms after their dates and brag that they'd had him. So, maybe he wasn't the only one doing the using back then, but he still didn't feel right about it.
"So then what? You never met a guy that you wanted to be with for months at a time, or even longer?" Danny asked, a smirk playing around his mouth and just begging to be kissed away. But Martin knew that he wouldn't be able to divert Danny from this line of questioning, even with the offer of sex. Danny could be like a dog with a fresh bone at times, and while he might let himself get distracted for a moment or two, he'd always go back to the topic at hand.
"I met a few guys that I probably wouldn't have minded that with. But for the most part I only sought out guys at certain times. I've never been the type to go from bar to bar in search of a bed partner. If I want to pick up someone, I go out and pick them up at one place. Or get picked up, as the case may be."
Danny shook his head. "You're gonna make me drag this out of you, aren't you, Fitzie?"
"I don't know what you mean," Martin quickly replied. He knew exactly what Danny meant. Danny wanted him to open up and tell him why he liked what he liked, and Martin wasn't sure that he wanted to reveal that much of himself to Danny yet. Granted, Danny had revealed some of his own insecurities to him recently, and Martin appreciated the trust. And he wanted to return that trust, he really did. He just didn't think that Danny would be all that understanding of the reasons why Martin sought out men who would hurt him.
"Don't you?" Danny placed his hand on Martin's knee and gave it a squeeze. "It's just me, Martin. I'm not your old man, out to hold anything and everything over your head. And I'm not Jack, out to lecture you about your lifestyle choices. It's just me, Danny Taylor, the guy who loves you and wants to know more about this side of you that you've never let me see before."
Wow. Danny definitely had his father pegged, and Jack, too. Jack meant well, Martin knew that. His father, however, never meant well. Danny had a point though; he'd already shown Danny a part of himself that he'd never before shown to the man, so it was only fair to give him some explanation as to why that side existed.
Martin nodded, but he didn't say anything at first. The reasons why he enjoyed being hurt weren't things he gave a lot of deep thought about, and he wasn't really sure if he could explain them to himself, let alone to Danny. But, for Danny's sake, he'd try. "There are times when I feel as if I don't meet up to what's expected of me. It doesn't matter if it's my Dad's expectations, or Jack's, or yours. Or even my own. There are just times when I feel that I come up lacking, feeling as if I don't deserve what I've been given. And then there are times when I just feel numb inside because of what I've seen. When I'm like that, then that's when I go to places like the Falcon. At those times, I want my sex rough and harsh, and I don't want to have to think about anything other than pleasing the guy that I'm with at that time."
Martin reached for his soda, taking a long drink. "It makes me feel better…human again. And, I suppose that the worse I feel beforehand, the more it takes to make me feel better. It would probably be more productive for us to talk about what we both like or dislike with regard to sex; especially things like sex toys and stuff like that." Martin grinned, "Not that your body isn't a great turn-on all by itself, but sometimes I like a little bit more."
Danny chuckled, "Yeah, I think I noticed that about you."
Martin laughed. "Never let it be said that I'm shy when it comes to acknowledging what I like."
"So, I know that you like having your nipples messed with," Danny said, his usual smirk firmly in place.
Martin nodded. "I guess you want me to add more to the list?"
Danny's eyebrows rose as he gave Martin a glare that screamed 'Doh!'
"Well, let's see…" Martin took another sip of his soda, then nodded. "I like being spanked, especially over someone's knee. Doesn't really matter too much if it's with a belt or paddle, although I am a bit more partial to a bare hand. I like being told what to do, and how to do it, and dirty talking is always a big turn-on for me."
"I picked up on that, too," Danny said, still smirking. "And since I noticed the welts, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you like taking it a step further from being spanked and that you enjoy being whipped. Or are those welts from a belt?"
"It was a whip," Martin admitted. He looked over at Danny, easily picking up on the fact that mentioning a whip made Danny look uncomfortable.
Martin put his soda can on the table and moved quickly to straddle Danny's thighs, draping his arms over Danny's shoulders. "I don't see any need to rush out to buy any of that. We can take things day by day and just see what happens. I'm pretty damn sure that you're never going to disappoint me, Danny."
Martin had no intention of giving Danny time to argue with him. He didn't want to rattle off a list of what he liked and didn't like, or what toys he wanted them to use, and he certainly didn't want to run the risk of Danny realizing that Martin was just too fucked up for him after all and find some excuse to leave. Besides, it *was* more fun to find out things about each other rather than having a Q and A session.
Martin leaned in closer, his lips ghosting over Danny's as bare skin slid against bare skin and he let his fingers lightly ruffle the short hairs on the back of Danny's neck. "I seem to remember hearing something about how we're supposed to be engaged in some wild fucking?"
Danny's eyes darkened. "Yeah," he said, his breath hot against Martin's mouth. "I remember hearing that, too. However," Martin gasped as Danny's hands grabbed his ass and pulled him even closer. "I'm more in the mood to make slow, passionate love to you. Think you can handle that kind of action right now?"
Martin's answer was to smile and then kiss Danny. It was a long, slow kiss, full of tongue and emotion, and when Martin pulled back a little breathless, they were both smiling.
Martin got to his feet and held his hand out toward Danny. "Yeah, I think I can handle that kind of action."
God, but it was nice to watch as Danny reached up and grabbed his hand, then got to his feet in one smooth motion. Martin didn't think there was an ounce of fat anywhere on the other man's body. Instead, Danny seemed to be all muscle covered with golden skin, and for a moment, Martin felt lacking as he knew his own skin was pale and uninteresting. At least he didn't come up short in the muscle department, Martin thought. It was bad enough to be pasty-white, so he was glad that he also wasn't too skinny or flabby.
Martin bit back a yelp as he felt a sharp sting on his ass, and he glared at his grinning partner. "What was that for?"
"I told you that I owed you for locking me and Chris out earlier," Danny replied.
Martin shook his head. "No. You tried to claim that you owed me back for forcing you and Chris to have to stay out in the hall with the police officer. You never mentioned anything about locking the two of you out."
"Oh, you've got such a short memory, Fitzie," Danny said with a laugh. "What did I say when you came to the door?"
Martin thought back, then grinned. "I think it was something about fucking me," he replied, deliberately leaving out part of what Danny had said.
"It was more like me vowing to fucking tan your hide."
"Was it?" Martin didn't even try to hold back his smirk.
"You know it was. And you might as well know that I've been wanting to spank that fine ass of yours for a long time, so it's a good thing that you like that kind of thing."
"Is it?" Again, Martin smirked.
Danny moved closer until their bodies were touching from groin to chest, and he rested both of his hands on Martin's ass. "It most definitely is. So, why don't we get to that boring bedroom of yours and see what we can do about it?"
"You think my bedroom is boring?" Martin had brought his hands up, originally intending to rest them on Danny's shoulders, but now he pushed them between their bodies, hoping to separate them. "Boring?"
"Yes, boring. Plain white walls, no artwork, no color. No curtains, either. Not much in there at all to grab a person's attention." Danny then grinned. "Although the sight of that king-sized bed of yours did give me some dirty thoughts."
Martin grinned back. "I don't think it's boring to have the bed be the main focus of the room, especially once you consider all the nice things that can happen in a bed like that."
Martin's grin grew broader as Danny's hands dipped lower and he gave both ass cheeks a firm squeeze. "I was thinking of some decidedly un-nice things that we could do, but I can handle nice, too."
"Well, then c'mon, and let's go see what we can come up with." Martin slipped out of Danny's embrace and started for his room. It wasn't until he was at the door that he realized that Danny hadn't followed him. Turning slightly to look back at the other man, Martin was surprised to see that Danny was just standing there, an intense look on his face as he looked back at him.
"What?" Martin asked. If Danny had changed his mind again, then Martin really would get violent with him.
Danny slowly grinned. "I was just appreciating how good you look when you're walking away from me naked. I've spent many hours watching you walk away and wondering just what those slacks were hiding, and I have to admit that what I imagined doesn't come close to how good you look."
Martin felt a bit of heat on his face as Danny's comment sank in. Danny liked his ass, despite how pale it must look to him. "Yeah, well, even though I've seen you often enough in just your boxers or a towel, your body looks a lot better than I ever imagined, too."
Danny walked to him, then reached out and pushed the bedroom door open. "Thank you. Now let's ignore that I zoned out on your ass and get back to the business at hand. Which, if I remember right, was getting that fine ass of yours spanked."
Martin snuggled closer to Danny, content to just stay there and listen to the combined sounds of Danny's breathing and heartbeat. Danny, however, seemed to be happier if he kept moving, but Martin didn't mind the way his lover's hands were still sliding over his body, lightly stroking his skin. Finally though, Danny's hands came to a stop, with one resting on Martin's hip and the other on the rise of his ass.
Martin raised his head until he could see his bedside clock, and then he rested it back against Danny's shoulder.
"Got somewhere you need to be?" Danny asked, his voice sounding about as lazy as it did sated.
"Nope. I was just wondering what time it was, that's all. It's later than I thought."
"Is that praise or a complaint?"
"Neither. Although, spending hours making love with you isn't a bad way to pass the time," Martin lifted his head a bit and placed a kiss on Danny's skin, then snuggled back down.
"Yeah, it was pretty damn good, wasn't it?"
Martin nodded. He'd known that Danny would be more than enough for him, and he hoped that now Danny could believe that, too. "I've never felt like this before."
"Oh? As in fucked so thoroughly you couldn't move if your life depended on it, or as in spanked so thoroughly you won't be able to sit down at work tomorrow?"
Martin smiled against Danny's chest. "I was thinking more along the lines of being loved so completely that my mind still can't quite grasp it all."
Martin felt the vibrations of Danny's laugh. "You are such a sap, Martin."
"Maybe. I can't help it if it's true, though. It's funny, two nights ago at this time, I was scared that I was going to lose your friendship once I told you about Chris and me being together. On Friday, I never could have imagined things turning out this way."
"On Friday, I was wishing that I was Chris Larabee and you were the mysterious fuck toy," Danny admitted. His hands were once more skimming over Martin's skin, and Martin was pretty sure that the soft cock that his thigh was touching, was now getting hard. "I had myself convinced that it was nothing more than a fantasy. But, I guess that wishes really do come true."
"Now look who's being sappy," Martin joked. But he felt the same way. He'd fantasized so many times about being with Danny, about Danny wanting him and loving him. And now it was a reality.
Martin suddenly found himself on his back as Danny moved over him, "Can't help it if it's true." Danny's mouth latched onto a nipple, sucking and then licking the skin around it. "Mmmm…delicious."
"You're confusing my body with food," Martin pointed out. "A person can't be delicious."
"Can, too. And I'll prove it to you tomorrow when I get my hands on a dictionary. For now, you're just gonna have to trust me on that."
Martin turned his head and licked at Danny's arm, tasting his skin. "Mmmm…you're right. You are delicious."
Danny's tongue swiped at Martin's other nipple. "Don't leave out delectable. And scrumptious, and sweet, and…"
"Egotistical," Martin added with a smirk.
Danny lifted his head and grinned back at Martin. "Hey, I was describing you! I don't think I'll ever get enough of your body."
"Good thing we've got all night then, because I know I'll never get enough of you."
Danny's grin faded, and he looked serious. "I want this to last a long time, Martin. You admitted that you've never had a relationship with another man, and it's only fair that I let you know that while I have had one, it was just that. One relationship. It lasted less than two years, but it was enough to give me a taste of how good it can be to be with someone for a long time. I know that we'll be even better than that."
Martin smiled. "I'll just have to trust you on that."
Danny moved his body slightly upward, until they were face to face. "And I promise that I'll never give you a reason to regret giving me that trust." He kissed Martin then, leaving his lips partly open. As Martin kissed Danny back, his tongue delving into that warm mouth, he found himself knowing two things. The first was that he knew he'd never regret trusting Danny, and the second was that Danny's mouth really did taste delicious.
The end