Ah, Hell. Who was he trying to kid? Jack would be blaming him for all of that and more, and if Danny were honest with himself, he knew that he was to blame for some of the bad things that had happened to Martin over the weekend. The only bad thing he wasn't guilty about was the whole bit with Larabee, so if Jack wanted to be upset with someone about that, then he could blame Martin or Larabee. And speaking of Larabee, did Jack tell him that he'd been fucking one of his team? Or did he let the man fly back to Colorado never knowing the last name of the guy he'd spent last week with?
"Thinking hard or barely thinking?" Jack asked as he sat down in the chair. "Although, I should tell you that I hope it's the thinking hard option, since you've obviously spent most of the weekend barely thinking."
Danny sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees as he considered his reply. His first instinct was to go on the offense, and point out that Martin himself was the one to blame, but instead Danny opted to stay quiet, knowing that Jack would be more than happy to fill in the silence.
Danny looked over at Jack and tried to not to flinch back at the glare he was receiving. So maybe staying silent wasn't going to work. "Jack, I…"
"I thought you knew enough about human bites to know that a bite should be treated as soon as possible. Right now, I don't really want to know the details about how Martin got that bite, but I do want to know what the Hell you were thinking to let it go so long without being properly treated. You broke the skin, Danny, increasing the risk of infection, and you left it up to Martin to try to cleanse it with soap and water. No bandages or antiseptic ointment, no concern as to if the wound would get infected. Is that the way you take care of your friends?"
Danny turned his gaze to Martin's floor. Shit, he'd really fucked that up, hadn't he? "To tell you the truth, I never once thought about it, Jack. There were other things going on at the time, and touching Martin, even for such a short time, wasn't something I could risk right then."
Danny looked back up at Jack, expecting to find that glare still in place. Instead he saw a concerned look, and for some reason that bothered him more than the glare had. When Jack glared, it meant he was angry or upset, and Danny knew how to handle Jack when he was like that. He didn't know how to handle it when Jack was being all caring and paternal, or big-brotherly. Those weren't things he'd had any real experience with, and Danny tended to steer clear of those types of feelings.
"Look, we might as well get this out into the open now and get it over with. Things happened over the weekend that led to us telling one another how we felt, and yes, things got physical. But I came to my senses before we really did anything, and brought things to a halt. You don't have to worry about two of your team being lovers or anything like that, because it's not going to happen. We're back to where we were before we went to Denver, and that's good." Danny nodded. "We're fine."
Jack also nodded. "I guess being fine explains why Martin went to the hotel bar and got so drunk that he probably won't even remember flying home."
"It was his way of dealing with it…and everything else. Did you know that Larabee's second-in-command just happens to look like Martin? I thought Martin was going to pass out when he saw Vin Tanner. As it was, he ended up losing his breakfast. Of course, at the time I had no idea bout Martin and Larabee, and looking back…" Danny shook his head. "I don't know how Martin held himself together, Jack. I really don't. Larabee's team aren't just co-workers to him, they're all friends, and close. And now Martin and Tanner think they might be related, because not only do they look enough alike to be twins, but they share a Hell of a lot of characteristics, too. They're both lactose intolerant, and they share some mannerisms. It was odd to see them together."
Jack looked confused as he leaned forward in the chair. "You didn't know about Martin and Larabee? But Martin told me Friday night that he'd told you on the flight to Denver."
Danny shook his head, still smarting over the fact that he'd misread Martin's words so badly. A good portion of Martin's present anguish was linked to that. "He thought he had, but I misinterpreted what he said. I didn't know about it until late last night, after we'd spent the day with Team 7, and then had dinner with them. It also didn't help matters any that Martin thought that I'd told Tanner all about him and Larabee, when I'd really just confirmed Tanner's suspicions that Larabee had spent his free time with another man. Seems that Tanner's in love with the guy and wanted to know if he had a chance with him. Seeing as how Larabee liked Martin well enough, I'd say the answer to that is a big yes. Then there was Ezra Standish, who figured out that Martin was Victor's son. Seems that Standish is ex-FBI, and he really, really hates Victor. That made dinner a bit tense at one point. It also didn't help that Martin was having a snit fit at the time, and he was drinking."
Jack sighed and leaned back in the chair, suddenly looking as tired as Danny felt. "From the beginning, Danny. I want to know everything that happened, and don't even think about giving me a cleaned-up version. After this weekend, there's not much more that can surprise me."
Jack wanted to hear it all? Danny's lips pursed as he tried to think about where to start, and decided to start with the very beginning, or the beginning as he knew it. "Well, it all started when I saw this sexy looking guy in your office. I couldn't see as much of him as I'd have liked, but what I saw looked damn good. I circled through the halls, so I could see into your office from the other side, thinking I'd get to see his eyes, but he was already gone. It was a few weeks later when I saw him again, and you introduced him as our new team member." Danny couldn't help but smile as he remembered just how good Martin had looked that day, and how he'd had to reach deep to find something harsh to say about the guy or else risk outing himself by trying to kiss Martin there and then.
"I was talking about this weekend, smart-ass." Jack rolled his eyes and seemed to ignore Danny's grin.
"Hey, you said the beginning, remember?" Danny chuckled, then he thought back to when they met Team 7. He'd start with that, since nothing of importance happened on the flight to Denver. Well, nothing of importance unless you counted him screwing up when it came to understanding what Martin had told him.
"We got to the Federal Building in Denver a bit early, and had to wait for Team 7 to arrive. Once they were in, we went to their floor to meet them. As I said before, Martin was pretty shocked at seeing Vin Tanner, and he was sick. It was decided that I'd stay at the office to go over their ATF cases while Martin went with one of the team members, Buck Wilmington, out to Larabee's house and then to go over the files from when Larabee worked Denver P.D. I don't know what all happened between Martin and Wilmington, but Martin later told me that he and Wilmington spoke about Larabee and that Wilmington knew about the two of them, or rather, about Larabee being with another man, then later Wilmington figured it out or Martin told him, or a combination of both. And, as I said earlier, Tanner pretty much guessed that Larabee had been with another man, although he had no idea that it was Martin. He admitted that he's in love with Larabee, although he's never told the guy. We were invited out to dinner with the team, and we went. Martin was sick on the way over, and although there was some tension at times during dinner, it went relatively well. Then you called with the news that you'd found Larabee and we went back to the hotel."
Danny nodded, wondering if Jack really wanted him to continue. The rest was personal, beyond personal, really, and Danny wasn't sure that Jack could handle the details, even if he said he could.
"Go on," Jack said, motioning impatiently with his hand.
"Things went to Hell once we got back to our room. Martin decided to shower, and when he took off his undershirt, I noticed that he was bruised and had other marks on his body. Some hickeys, bruises, and some welts. I thought that some woman left them behind, but then Martin made some comment about how Tanner would have a much better chance with Larabee if he liked that kind of stuff, too. And that's when it hit me that Martin had been the slut…the guy who'd been with Larabee. I didn't take it well, especially when Martin revealed that he hadn't even known Larabee's last name until he saw the guy's picture on the board."
Jack's eyebrows rose at that, but he remained quiet, obviously waiting for Danny to continue.
Danny shrugged. "Martin was confused because he thought that he'd told me that he'd been with Larabee, only I'd misunderstood him. There was no misunderstanding the conversation we had last night, though. I asked him how he could be so stupid as to go off with a stranger." Danny smiled slight as he inclined his head toward Jack. "He replied that you'd said something similar and then he laid into me about how neither one of us had any right to judge him."
Danny's smile faded. "I love him, Jack. And I've had plenty of fantasies about Martin over the years. So, when I tell you that I couldn't think clearly right then, I hope you can understand that it was because of me being jealous and also having Martin standing there, in nothing but his slacks and…well, let's just say that concentration was a bit difficult. I sent him to shower so I could think. I came to the conclusion that Martin obviously didn't like me, and I got past my jealousy toward Larabee and resolved to be just what I've been, and that's Martin's friend. I finally realized that the water wasn't running, and then Martin came out to get something from the dresser. I apologized and he accepted, and we decided to watch a game on TV. While Martin showered, I went to get some popcorn, candy, and soda, and once Martin was out of the shower, we sat on the bed and watched the game."
"Sounds normal so far," Jack commented. "Except for you finding out about what Martin likes to do in his spare time." There was no look of censure on Jack's face, and Danny took that as a good sign. That meant that Jack wasn't harshly judging Martin, which was good because one thing Danny knew for certain was that Martin would be devastated if he thought that Jack held him in low regard.
"It was. We've done that on many out of town trips, and it was turning into a night like many others. Then I noticed that Martin had fallen asleep, and I started thinking about him and why he'd turned to someone like Larabee, and how I'd missed my chance with him. And the next thing I knew, I was touching him, but not enough to awaken him. He made a noise and I stopped, not wanting to disturb him. I was heading for the bathroom to shower when I realized that he was having a rather erotic dream, and I still think that I heard him saying my name."
"And you let your little head take over from your big one?" Jack asked, making Danny wince at the choice of words.
"That's a bit blunt, but yeah, that's pretty much what happened. Martin woke up, we were making out, and I was…" Danny looked back down at the floor, feeling his face growing warm as he spoke. "I was kissing Martin's bare skin and trying to ignore the marks that Larabee had left behind. I think that I was thinking that it was now my turn to mark Martin, to show everyone that he was mine, and that's when I bit him. And I liked it, and Martin made a noise that pretty much showed that he liked it and that's when I stopped things."
"After interviewing Ron Bradley and seeing the marks on Martin's body, that couldn't have taken you by surprise." Jack's voice was nice and even, and Danny was grateful for that, since he'd been expecting the man to be angry. Then again, maybe he shouldn't have been too surprised that Jack would fall back onto his psychologist training.
"It wasn't Martin that surprised me, it was me." Danny looked back up at Jack. "I like to be the one in charge, to dominate my partner. And God knows that Martin was submissive in many of my fantasies, Jack. But not like that, not that totally. And I was totally unprepared to find that I enjoyed hurting him. My father…let's just say that my home life wasn't all that great and leave it at that. And I vowed to never be like him, Jack. Never. Anyway, I pushed Martin away and he decided to go for a run. He ended up running a bit too far and called for me to come to get him. Once we were back in the parking lot, I explained my reasoning to him, and I thought he understood why I couldn't risk being with him. I can't trust myself with him, and I can't trust that he'll stop me if I go too far. We headed inside, and that's when he decided that he deserved to get drunk. I reminded him that we needed to leave the hotel before four, and he said he'd be back in time to pack. I went to our room, called my sponsor and we talked until around one. I then managed to get some sleep, and when my alarm went off at three, I saw that Martin wasn't there. At that point I figured that I'd get packed and ready, then wait a bit for him, and if he didn't show, then I'd go get him. But, when I got out of the shower, Martin was there, trying to change for the trip home. I'd already packed his things, so he was having some difficulties with that."
"No underwear." Jack had a slight smile on his face.
"I had no idea what was clean and what wasn't," Danny admitted. "I got him to the airport, but I kept his badge and gun because I wasn't trusting a drunk with those. Things were good until we reached security and Martin told me and everyone within a two-mile radius that he didn't have his gun. I think you know the rest."
"Yes."
Danny waited for Jack to tell him that he'd been a fool, or to tear into him for breaking Martin's heart, but Jack sat there, silent and watching him.
"Look, I know that when Martin's gotten some sleep and is sober, he'll agree with me that things will be just like they were before. This isn't going to effect the team, or our work performance, Jack. It was just a hard weekend for Martin, but now that Larabee's back in Denver where he belongs, then things can get back to normal."
"Larabee's not in Denver," Jack said. "That's one of the reasons why I decided to meet you two at the airport. He's at our office, going over the case against Ella Gaines. Since she's apparently connected to the death of his wife and son, he's intending to stay here until her arraignment Monday. I didn't think that Martin needed to walk into the bull pen and see Larabee sitting there."
Danny swallowed hard, knowing that Jack was right about that. "Does he know?"
Jack tilted his head questioningly. "Does who know what?"
"Does Larabee know that his Martin is our Martin?"
"I didn't tell him," Jack said, shrugging. "But I noticed him near Martin's desk last night."
Danny tried to remember just what Martin had pinned to the half-wall behind his desk and couldn't. He'd seen it so many times, but now that he needed to remember, needed to know if there was anything there that would identify Martin, he was coming up blank.
Jack seemed to sense his memory lapse. "He was looking rather intently at Martin's graduation photo."
That clicked in Danny's mind. Martin had pinned that to the board, right next to one of his aunt and her family. It was a good shot of Martin, all smiles and looking rather proud of himself for getting through the FBI course at Quantico.
"He didn't ask about Martin or say anything?" Danny asked, wondering how Larabee was handling knowing that the guy he'd been fucking was one of the men out there trying to find and save his sorry ass.
Jack shook his head. "Not one word. So, either he didn't make the connection between the photograph and Martin's nameplate, or he's smart enough to be discreet."
Jack got to his feet. "I need to get back to the office. Are you staying here or should I drop you off at your place?"
"I was thinking of going to the office and getting my report done," Danny said as he got to his feet. And if he just happened to run into Chris Larabee, well, it would only be natural to introduce himself.
"Not a good idea, Danny." Jack headed for the door. "As a matter of fact, I'm ordering you to *not* come in today. So, which is it going to be? Because if you're staying here, then you need to get your bag out of my trunk."
"I'll walk down with you." If he couldn't go and give Larabee the third degree, then Danny could at least be there when Martin finally awoke. They obviously needed to talk again, and Danny just didn't feel right leaving Martin alone right then.
"If you want to get back in here, then you should probably grab Martin's keys," Jack pointed to the coffee table where Danny had tossed the keys when he'd opened the door. "I'll meet you downstairs."
"Right. Hey, Jack?"
Jack paused as he opened the door, looking back at Danny. "Yeah?"
"Thanks for not tearing me a new one," Danny said, giving Jack a half-smile.
"I thought about it, but I think that I know you well enough by now to know that you've already done that to yourself. As you well should. Martin didn't deserve having his heart ripped out." Jack stepped out into the hallway, closing the door on that statement.
Danny picked up the keys, bouncing them in his palm as he found himself agreeing with Jack's words. Martin's heart had been torn out at least twice over the weekend, first by Larabee and then by him. As much as it broke Danny's heart to have told Martin he loved him and now turning Martin away, he knew that his pain didn't hold a candle to what Martin had to be feeling. He went back to the bedroom, opening the door and looking at Martin from the doorway. Martin was sound asleep, and Danny's fingers itched to touch the man, and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into that bed and spoon his body behind Martin's, holding him while they both slept.
Shaking his head over those wayward thoughts, Danny gently closed the door and headed downstairs to get his bag. As he walked down the steps, Danny found himself hoping that he hadn't been lying to Jack when he'd said that everything would be just like it was before. Danny didn't know what he'd do if he lost Martin's friendship, and it was something that he simply did not want to think about. Things *had* to be okay between them, because for them not to be was too painful to consider.
Part Twenty