Author/pseudonym: MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Email address: monaCK2@yahoo.com and huntersglenn@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17
Status: Finished
Pairing: John Carter/Luka Kovac/Dave Malucci
Date: October 20, 2003
Archive: Please ask first
Series: 23/?
Category: "E.R."
Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure. The title of the story was inspired by the Jimmy Buffett song of the same name, and no infringement is intended. The story can be found on the following web sites: http://www.heresmona.com/fanfic.html
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Boutique/7087/, and
http://www.errealmofslash.com
Summary: It's a slashy A/U story about how Season 8 might have been and contains no spoilers for the current season.
"Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes, Part 23"
By MonaCK and Cathy Roberts
Both Dave and Luka watched as John left the room, and then they faced each other with nothing left as a buffer between them. Two men with a similar interest -- seeing John Carter happy, and each thinking that they were the person who could *make* that happen.
They were silent for a while...but soon the lack of sound was deafening. And Luka was the first to break the quiet.
"So...it was not intentional...you not calling. And all of this was a misunderstanding. If...do...do you really love John? I mean...I guess what I don't understand is why you didn't try to get in contact with John as soon as you left the ship.."
If it had been Luka, he would have been on the first plane home, and he would have immediately sought John out once he arrived back in Chicago, but it was obvious that he and Dave were very different people.
Dave shook his head. "No. I didn't mean for *any* of this to happen. All I wanted was to surprise John by bein' here, and instead...I was the one surprised. Man, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for draggin' you into this again...for gettin' you..."
"Dave, I didn't get involved with anything I didn't want a part in. John was very up front about his feelings for you. I was just hoping in time that I could take a bigger piece of his heart. But, Dave, the man is *in love* with you...he always has been. I'll always be second choice..." Luka lifted his eyes, and looked towards the bathroom door. "...even if John doesn't want to admit that. I know. I know that he'll always wonder what could have been with you if he chooses me. While with you...with you, Dave...damn it...I hate it. I hate the fact that he loves you more. But he does. He'll never wonder about me, because he'll have *everything* if he has you."
More and more Luka was realizing what *he* was going to have to do, but he still hoped that John would be able to be the one who came to that decision on his own.
John finally dried his eyes, then got up and splashed cold water on his face, not that it did much good. He still looked as if he had been crying. Turning away from the mirror, he quickly stripped to his underwear, and he briefly thought about going back into his room naked, to seduce them both -- to keep them both.
But John went on and pulled on the Dockers he had grabbed, then quickly buttoned up the shirt, not caring that they didn't go together. It was more important to get back out there with them.
Still buttoning his sleeves, John stepped back into his room. Luka and Dave weren't smiling at each other, but they weren't looking as angry as they had before, either, so that was a good sign. John leaned against the door frame. "So, any revelations while I was gone?"
Dave was still dumbfounded over how...easy Luka seemed to be giving up. Almost as if Luka somehow *knew* that this day would come, and he would have to say goodbye again. So when John walked back into the room, Dave didn't say a word, and instead focused his eyes on Luka. This was Luka's tale to tell now.
"John, sit down," Luka said, focusing his eyes up to the man he loved. Luka was fully aware that this might be the last time he talked to John in such an intimate setting. He waited until John was seated, and then continued. "Because...because you've insisted that this should be the three of us...I'm going to talk with Dave in the room. Because you're right -- it is about the three of us. Dave and I have something very special in common, and that's you. And we...we both know how lucky we are to have had you in our lives...but.."
Luka looked at Dave and then back to John again. "But John, you have to make a decision.. I think that Dave and I both agree on that...you have to tell us...who do you want to be with...?" Luka wanted to give John the chance first. And if John was still not able to make the decision, Luka would make it for him.
John had sat down on the bed at Luka's urging, suddenly feeling as if he didn't want to hear what Luka had to say. And as Luka spoke, John knew he didn't want to hear those words. He should have walked out of the bathroom naked, he thought. Seduced them both right there and then and made it impossible for either one of them to even think about leaving him.
John looked from Luka to Dave. "And you agree with this? You want me to choose between the two of you?"
Dave nodded. "You have to choose, John. You *have* to. We both love you, and I promise you that we won't hate you when you choose one of us over the other. But *you* have to make a decision here."
"Why?" John blurted out as he got to his feet and began to pace the room, not trusting himself to look at either one of them. If he did then he might cry again, and he didn't want to show any weakness to Luka and Dave. "Why do I have to be the bad guy here? I love both of you and I don't really see why we can't find a way to make this work."
"You're not bein' the bad guy," Dave blurted out, looking up to John, rather surprised at the outburst, his mind instantly remembering the outbursts of emotion John had shown back on the ship -- and his breakdown. "Neither Luka and I wanna share you! And it's really selfish of you to ask us that! It *can't* work for the three of us, because we both love you too much..."
What the Hell? John had gone from being someone who never cheated, and who only was committed to one person, to wanting to have a three person relationship?
Luka, as well, was not exactly happy with this, though he did not emote it as passionately as Dave did. "No, John. Dave is right. It can't be any other way."
"That's a bit hypocritical of you, isn't it, Luka?" John snapped. "You didn't hesitate to sit back and watch while I fucked Randi, did you? And, according to you, you loved me even then. If you'd let someone I don't love fuck me while you watched, then why can't you let me be with you *and* Dave? I'm not asking for some big three way orgy here, I'd never ask either one of you to watch while I was with the other one." Although, as John said that, he could see where sharing the same bed with Luka and Dave would be the easiest solution. He could sleep in the middle, with them on either side. But, before he could even think of suggesting that solution to the two men, John had to get them away from the idea that *he* had to chose between them.
"I loved you even then, but it was different. Damn it, John...you simply don't understand. What you are doing is not fair to any of us. How...how could you ask us to even entertain that kind of an idea?"
Luka was absolutely flabbergasted. And one look at Dave...Dave just looked hurt. Hurt that John seemed to be having so much trouble coming to the decision that Luka knew in his heart was the right one. And uncomfortable. Luka wasn't sure Dave even knew about the incident with Randi.
"I *can't* share you, John," Dave finally said, when he found his voice once more. "If you want Luka so fucking badly...then have him. But I'm *not* sharing you."
Dave stood from the couch, and looked as if he was about to storm out of the room when Luka stopped him. "No, Dave. You stay. John...I'm done. I'm done here. You can't make the decision...so I'm making it for you. The two of us are finished because you will never love me in the same way that you love Dave. That much is a fact. And I told you once that I never wanted to be your second choice. But I know in my heart that I am. I'm begging you, John, please...let me go..,so I can begin to find some way to get over you..."
"Since when did either one of you become psychic? How can you stand there and tell me what I'm feeling?" John looked from Luka to Dave and then back again. "I guess that you love me the same way you loved your wife, right? Because if you don't, then doesn't that mean that I'd always be second in *your* heart? As for you," John glared over at Dave. "You can't share me? As if I'm some piece of property that you have control over? A toy that you've taken to school and now won't let the other kids even look at, let alone touch? You guys want a decision, fine. I'll give you a decision. Fuck you. Fuck both of you. I choose neither one of you."
With that, John stormed out of his room, not quite sure where he was going. All he knew was that he had to get away from Dave and Luka before his resolve wavered. How dare they decide between themselves what was going to make him happy? It was more than obvious that Luka had planned to leave him in the first place, so why the bullshit about making him choose? And, if Luka loved him as much as he had said, then how, *how* was it that he could just walk away?
Dave stayed in his spot for only a moment before storming out of the room after John, not caring whether Luka was following him or not. Luckily, John hadn't gotten very far. Dave was angry. Very angry. How *dare* John do this? How dare he...?
"What the fuck is your problem, John? You ask me how I say I don't wanna share you? You think maybe it's because I fuckin' LOVE you? And when you love someone this much...you don't wanna open your bedroom to just anyone. Fuck. I thought that you loved me just as much. But I was wrong. I was fuckin' WRONG if you were so afraid of hurting *him* and so selfish that someone might reject *you* that I get trampled on in the process. Damn it. I'm done. I'm done bein' hurt by you. You don't want either of us? You wanna be alone? Congratulations, John Carter. You're gonna get exactly what you asked for..."
Tears sprung to his eyes, even though he didn't want them to. He knew he was going to have to quit this place -- he didn't have a choice now. No way could he live on the same property as John Carter. Not when he was acting like this. And it didn't much matter where Dave went this time. Only in one sense where he stood was quite clear -- Dave Malucci would never, ever again be hurt by John Carter. And Dave Malucci would never, ever again love someone. He was done.
"I never once said I didn't want either one of you. Never." John spat back. "It's the two of you who keep telling me that it's wrong for me to love each of you. And I'm not afraid of hurting either one of you. Being afraid of hurting someone and not wanting to hurt someone are two different things, Dave, and you should know that. I don't want to hurt you, either, but you don't seem to want to grasp that fact." John didn't care if the entire household heard them arguing, not any more. "And for your information, I don't want to be alone. I've never wanted to be alone...all I ever wanted was to be loved, truly loved, by someone who I loved. And now, when I get that, you and Luka are telling me that I can't have it, that I *have* to hurt one of you and make the other one happy." John shook his head.
"Well, I can't do that. I won't do that, and I refuse to allow you to make me the bad guy in all of this. *I'm* not the one who sneaked back to Chicago without a word to anyone, just because my pride was hurt over being fired, was I?"
"I'm not *trying* to make you the bad guy, John...but damn it, for someone who loves us so much...you're making it really hard for us to believe. Okay. I can only speak for myself here, but God...the thought of you being in the arms of another man...it makes me *sick*. It makes me physically sick, and what upsets me more than anything else is you can't see that. You can't see how that is killing me...instead, you'd rather dig in and bring up how I sneaked back here. Fine...have it your way...it's my fucking fault. It's all *my* fault that I come back to surprise you and find you in the arms of another man...it's all my fault...it's..."
Dave's stomach did a somersault, and Dave couldn't speak anymore. He ran back into John's bedroom, flying past Luka into the bathroom, barely managing to shut the door behind him before throwing up his lunch into the toilet.
John followed Dave part of the way, stopping in the doorway of his bedroom. As he heard the sounds of Dave being sick in the bathroom, John looked at Luka. "And do you feel the same way? Do I make you sick, too?" He coldly asked. Somehow, John had known it would all come back to that -- to him having been with another man -- Luka -- while he and Dave were broken up. He had found comfort with someone else while Dave had remained celibate and now Dave was punishing him for it. Look at how easily Dave had found it to accuse him of jumping into Luka's bed the second they left the ship.
Luka had been unable to keep from hearing the argument that was going on in the hallway. And as John came back in and questioned him, Luka couldn't believe that he had managed to fall for a man like this in the first place - someone who was obviously so...ungrounded in reality.
"Did you listen to *anything* that Dave said? Because I did. You didn't make him sick. Your words made him sick. He only wants to be with you. I only want to be with you. And single-handedly, you're managing to ruin what you had with both of us, because you can't understand why we don't want to share you. No...No I'm not sick, John. I'm saddened. Saddened that you are so worried about being rejected, that you're not stopping to see what you are doing to the people around you."
"So what you're saying is that I'm supposed to jump for joy and throw myself down at his feet because he doesn't want to share me? Or do the same to you? Be so overjoyed that you want me so much that you feel you can decide between the two of you what will make me happy? No one ever once thought about asking me how I felt. It was just an automatic order for me to choose in a heartbeat. Well, I'm sorry that I can't turn my emotions on and off so quickly as to be able to choose one of you over the other in the blink of an eye, Luka. The two of you mean too much to me for me to be able to do that, but that's not something either one of you want to admit it, is it? You find it so easy to put yourself down, telling me how I feel about you and gallantly stepping aside. Meanwhile, Dave's alternating between blaming himself for not calling me and blaming me for 'moving on' when I did think he had dumped me."
John turned around to leave, but then stopped and looked back at Luka. "Before either one of you were my lovers, you were my friends, and by making me choose one of you over the other as a lover, you're also making me choose one of you over the other as a friend. One of you is going to walk out of my life forever, and neither one of you gives a damn about how that makes me feel." John hurried on down the hallway to the back stairs, needing more than ever to get away from the two of them. God, he loved them so much that it hurt and yet they doubted his feelings. One thing that he was realizing from all of this -- from having Luka's love and then being faced with losing it, was that John saw he cared more about Luka than he had ever realized. And it just wasn't fair that he had to lose either Dave or Luka, as a lover or a friend.
Once outside, John just kept walking, knowing he needed to burn off the anger, pain, hurt and disappointment.
After John left, Luka stood there, watching out of the open door for a while as he tried to gather his thoughts. He supposed that John did have a valid point...maybe it wasn't fair to put all the pressure on him. Maybe it wasn't fair to make him choose so soon after learning that he had to make a choice.
The retching sounds had long stopped from the bathroom, and Luka's thoughts turned towards Dave. Had Dave heard what John said? And if so, how much had he heard?
It had been a while, a good twenty minutes had passed since John had disappeared, and now there were no sounds at all coming from inside the bathroom. And Luka began to worry that maybe everything was not okay with Dave. Luka might have been jealous of the man.. but he didn't want Dave to come to any harm.
Hesitating for only a moment, he knocked on the door. "Dave?"
Dave was no longer sick, but was sitting against the wall of the bathroom, tears streaming down his face as he tried to get himself under control before going out to face the music, so to speak. He had heard the final argument...most of it anyway. And since he didn't hear John's voice anymore, he assumed that the man had finally stormed off.
So be it. It wasn't like Dave hadn't tried to lay it on the line for John.
Dave heard Luka's voice and jerked his head up towards the door. What did *he* want? "What?"
"Are you okay, Dave? You've been in there for a while. I just want to make sure..."
Luka? Caring? Dave wasn't sure he believed it. Luka only seemed to care about John...but then again -- Luka hadn't exactly gone running after John either. Maybe he was genuinely concerned...or maybe he just wanted to get in and use the bathroom?
Well, whatever his agenda, Dave supposed he owed the guy an answer. "It's open. Enter if you must."
Luka carefully opened the door. He stood in the doorway, looking down on the broken man before him. Sighing, he entered the room. "John took off...somewhere. I don't know where, and I don't think he wants either of us to follow him. Maybe...maybe this was a mistake...maybe we pushed him...?"
Dave shook his head. "It doesn't fucking matter anymore, okay? You've won. You've won. If John wanted to be with me, he'd be with me, he wouldn't be jerkin' me around like this."
Luka moved to sit on the floor, leaning his back against the tub so he was sitting perpendicular to Dave. "I'm not sure that's the case. I think...maybe he just...I don't know...I'm hurting here too, you know. This isn't easy for any of us..."
None of it was easy. None of it at all. Somehow they had to try to find a way to get through to John -- both Luka and Dave knew this. Even if it meant that they had to try to get along to do so. For John's sake.
Millicent Carter's mouth was set in a tight line as she sent her electric wheelchair down the upstairs hallway. She had heard a good portion of the argument that had gone on between John, Luka and Dr. Malucci, although, under the circumstances, Millicent felt she could most likely call him Dave. None of it was good, and her heart felt heavy for all three of them, but it was breaking for her grandson.
She wheeled through the open door of his room, but no one was in sight, which momentarily irritated her. How could she talk to them if they weren't there? Then she heard a noise from the open door of the bathroom, but modesty kept her from heading in that direction. Perhaps the three of them had found a way to make up that involved the shower? If so, then she didn't want to intrude, but she still wanted to talk with the three of them.
"John? Luka? Dave? Are you in here?" she called out, thinking a quick answer would mean that they were all fully clothed.
Dave heard the voice of his new employer, and pulled his knees to his chest. He leaned his head down on top of them and shut his eyes. Well...if he was going to quit his job it really didn't matter, because when all was said and done, it was going to be a miracle that Dave wasn't fired. Three times a charm. Three times in one year. Dave was a three time loser.
Luka's eyes shifted from Dave to the open door of the bathroom. "We're in here, Mrs. Carter," he finally said, sighing as he did so. Obviously, the woman didn't know that John had run out on them. It was only a matter of time, Luka thought, before she sent him packing. He had promised that he would never hurt John. And now look at them.
"Are the three of you decent?" she asked as she tried to gauge the tone of Luka's voice. Resignation after an argument was sometimes a good sign, as it showed that the person was open to suggestions on how to make things better.
Luka almost laughed, but didn't. Why wouldn't they be decent? "It's only myself and Dave...but yes, we're decent," he said, as he looked over to Dave. Luka actually found himself feeling sorry for the man. Dave looked to be in a lot of pain.
Millicent frowned at hearing it was just the two men. Where had John gone off to? She motored a little further into the room, then stopped. "I'm afraid my wheelchair can't make it over to the bathroom," she informed Luka. She wished she could see him, and Dave, to see how upset they were. They had all sounded angry enough earlier.
"Okay, Mrs. Carter. We'll be right out..." Luka cast Dave another glance, and then got up, standing before the younger man. "Come on. Let me help you u..."
"Leave me alone."
"Dave...you need to talk to Mrs. Carter. She has to understand what happened. It's not fair to *her* for you to sit in here and brood. Dave, wouldn't it be better to try to work together while this is going on?"
Dave was not a 'work together' kind of guy -- especially in matters where his personal life were concerned. But maybe, just maybe, Luka had a point. And casting his bloodshot eyes upwards, he nodded a very small nod.
"What the Hell else do I have to lose at this point?" he muttered, as he outstretched his hand towards Luka.
A few moments later, the two of them stumbled out to the bedroom. Dave immediately headed over towards the couch, and slumped down on it. His tie, which had been so carefully tied and neat round his neck, was now haphazardly loosened. He had lost his suit jacket somewhere along the way, and the top three buttons of his shirt were undone. Dave's eyes were downcast as he sat, embarrassed to even try to make eye contact with Mrs. Carter.
Luka was only barely better, but he was more skilled at keeping his emotions at bay. He had done it for years -- shut off his emotions while he let his practical side take over -- and it allowed him to be able to function when all he really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry.
Millicent carefully looked over the two men, seeing that the argument had greatly reduced them. Well, she was sure that Dave would be worried about his position, so she sought to alleviate that concern first. "I called the agency and informed them that you will be starting here tomorrow. I'm sure that Dr. Meyers will want to meet with you soon to discuss my health issues, but I'm not sure when he'll be contacting you. There is a telephone in the guest cottage, with its own number, so you won't have to share a line with anyone here. When you're ready, I can take you out there to have a look at the house. It's small, but quite nice."
Dave finally brought his eyes up, genuinely surprised at Mrs. Carter's words. "You...you mean...you still want me to be your doctor?"
He was sure that Mrs. Carter had heard at least part of their arguments...Dave hadn't exactly kept his voice at bay. "I...I'd still very much like to work here... "
Dave knew that he had said that he would have to quit, but he almost felt like he had something to prove. He didn't want to be fired again. He wanted to prove to everyone around him that he had the ability to keep a job. And the fact that Mrs. Carter still wanted to hire him meant a lot.
"Of course I still want you to be my doctor. Nothing has changed my mind about that. And, Luka," she turned her gaze to the older man. "You're certainly welcome to stay here as long as you like. Lord knows that if people left this house every time they had an argument, then this place would be completely empty," she said with a smile.
"Thank you, Mrs. Carter," Luka said sincerely, returning the woman's gaze. "I really do appreciate this."
Luka wasn't quite sure if he was going to take her up on it yet -- a lot depended on what happened when - if -- John came back.
"Mrs. Carter, I'm sorry about everything that's happened with John," Luka started, knowing that Dave was not going to be the one to start this conversation. "I guess things...got out of hand, and John got angry and left. Hopefully...hopefully he'll come back soon."
"He likes to take long walks when he's upset. Perhaps if he had been able to do that back when he was recovering from being stabbed he might have avoided becoming addicted, but that's neither here nor there now, is it." She shrugged slightly. "John tends to feel things deeply, and, as such, tends to react strongly when he's hurt. It will pass. The question that the two of you need to address is what you'll do when he returns to the house. Are you planning on forcing him to make a life altering decision immediately, as you've already done, and with no success, or are the two of you interested in finding another way to solve this particular 'problem'?" she asked them, willing to give them her opinion of things, should they wish to hear it.
"I can only speak for myself, Mrs. Carter," Luka said, casting a quick glance over to Dave. "But I think that I will back away for now, give John the space he is obviously looking for. I guess my jealousy got the best of me..."
"Yeah, yeah...at this point...as long as John's no longer upset...I'll do anything I can to try to make things right again," Dave commented.
Dave was in so much pain, it was almost blinding. And if Dave had what *he* wanted, John would have kicked Luka to the curb, and stay with Dave, as it should have been. But things were obviously more complicated then that, and Dave had to accept that no matter how much he didn't like it. Once more Dave found himself fighting the almost overwhelming urge to flee. But he knew that he couldn't do that. Not this time. He had something to prove. And he also had something to fight for. Despite his words to John that he was 'done', he still loved and wanted the man.
Millicent nodded as a small smile formed on her lips. "Are either one of you familiar with horses in any way?"
Dave shook his head. "Not unless you mean the horses that pull the carriages in Central Park. Saw them plenty of time."
Luka, at the same time was nodding. "Yes, I used to ride horses when I was younger on my grandfather's farm in Croatia," Luka commented, trying to figure out what the woman's point was.
"When I was younger, I had a horse bought for me as a birthday present. He was a rather spectacular specimen, with a glossy coat and intelligent eyes. He was also quite determined that no one would ever ride him, nor put a saddle on him. My father was going to sell him since he thought the horse was basically worthless and he didn't want to pay money feeding an animal that only wanted to run free in the pasture. At the time, we had an elderly man working for us, and he said that he could get the horse to take a saddle, and me. My father gave in, giving him three months in which to work this 'miracle', and I tagged along, wanting to see how Johnson was going to manage this. He told me that his first order of business was to get the stallion's attention because whenever someone tried to approach the horse, he'd run away. I was surprised when I saw Johnson walk into the corral where Blueboy was, and sit down on the ground, on the far side, away from the horse. Well, Johnson stayed there for hours, just sitting and talking with me. Sometime he'd talk to Blueboy, but he never looked at him. And when Johnson finally got to his feet, I saw that Blueboy *had* come nearer to him. It took a lot of hours, but eventually Blueboy came right up to Johnson, nuzzling him. And it went on from there. Johnson would talk gently to the horse, and he never forced him to do anything. He would always wait for Blueboy to come to him, he never went after that horse, and when those three months ended, I was riding him," Millicent said, her mind reflecting fondly on that time and all she had learned from Johnson...and Blueboy.
The men sat and listened to Millicent. She had seemed to live such a full life, and to hear her tell a story of her youth like this seemed to be a rather special glance into it. Luka, right away, understood the meaning. Dave understood it too, but on a different level. Not enough to be able to say much about it because Dave was still trying to process what the right thing to do regarding John was.
But Luka nodded. "So...I do understand what you're saying, Mrs. Carter, that sometimes John can be as stubborn as a horse...and that we have to give him the space he needs to figure out the decision on his own...and not pressure him anymore."
"That's basically it. If you don't pressure him, then he will come around. I was trying that myself, a few years ago. John and I, well, all of us, had had a falling out over his cousin Chase. Has he mentioned Chase to either one of you?"
Both men shook their head. Dave had remembered John talking about his sister, but never a cousin. And Luka wasn't sure they ever really discussed John's family at all.
"Chase is a year older than John, and when my husband was afraid that John was going to stubbornly stick with medicine instead of joining the family business, he pressured Chase into being groomed as his heir, so to speak. Oh, J.C. never really intended to make Chase take over, not at the beginning. He had hoped that John's competitiveness would kick in and that he'd turn his back on being a doctor and go into business as J.C. had always planned. But that didn't happen, which vexed my husband to no end. For some reason, whenever J.C. looked at John, he saw a business tycoon, and no amount of discussion could convince him otherwise. He felt that John was merely dabbling with medicine and using it as a way to get 'back' at him." Millicent shook her head.
"Anyway, Chase liked his trust fund, and having money and living the fine life, so he found it difficult to tell his grandfather no, even though his heart wasn't in business any more than John's was. At the time, though, even I refused to see that. It was my opinion that family members owed the rest of the family something, and they didn't shirk on their responsibilities." Millicent looked away from Luka and Dave, her thoughts going back to the speech she had given John on that very subject after Chase's overdose.
"Chase felt trapped in the business world. He was an artist and a photographer. Those pictures over there," Millicent pointed to the far wall, "were taken by him. Chase ended up turning to drugs for some relief and John caught on to him. Chase begged him to keep quiet about it, claiming it was just recreational use, and John believed him. Later though, Chase came to him, admitting he was an addict and asking for John's help to detox. John, of course, wanted Chase to go to a clinic, and when Chase refused, John dropped the subject. In the end, though, John ended up helping Chase get off of heroin. At least he thought he had. Chase went back to his old ways and he overdosed one evening."
Millicent closed her eyes briefly as she remembered how still Chase had been when she had finally seen him after that time. "Chase was brought to County General along with a few other heroin users. Apparently they had all been trying some new strain of the drug together. From what John told me, Chase hadn't been breathing for quite some time by the time he was brought in. The doctor treating Chase recognized him, and she called John into the room. John, of course, had no intention of letting his cousin die, and eventually they brought him back. Unfortunately, Chase's brain was damaged because of the lack of oxygen. J.C. and I blamed John for the whole affair, telling him that he had had no business keeping Chase's addiction a secret from us. J.C. was particularly harsh with John over it. Anyway, to shorten the story a bit, J.C. still wanted John to work with him, but John kept refusing. I finally commented to him that he seemed to have no problem spending the money earned by the family, to which he replied that we could keep the money. And, I did. I cut him off without notice, thinking he'd come running back, desperate for the money. But, John never did that. I saw him once or twice after that, mostly in connection with Chase's care at the Kenner Institute, but that was it. Until he was stabbed, that is. I kicked myself good and hard for that, let me tell you. It was a shame that it took nearly losing John to make me realize that it had been wrong of me to try to force him into doing what we wanted while completely ignoring what it was he was born to do."
Luka and Dave had both sat silently, listening to the dynamic woman speak about this part of John's life that neither of the men knew about. Dave was especially interested -- he had no idea that John's family had cut him off at one point. And for Mrs. Carter to be sitting there admitting that she was wrong...and that she was key in him being cut off in the first place...that was something else.
"Whoa...Mrs. Carter," Dave finally said, once the enormity of the story had lifted off of his shoulders. "That's...something else. So is Chase still alive now? Does John ever get to see him?"
Luka was wondering the same thing -- though John had been a couple with Dave longer, Luka had spent more time with the man on his home turf, and he could honestly not remember John ever mentioning this cousin, even when they were in that class where everyone had full disclosure a few months earlier. And if John had been visiting Chase, it would have been news to Luka.
"Chase is alive, and doing much better. He's come a long way since the overdose, and a good portion of his progress is due to John. At first, John stayed with him all the time. They brought a bed into Chase's room and John would sleep over there, and work with Chase. Eventually though, his internship had to take priority, and he had to cut back on those visits, but he never cut back on being Chase's advocate, insisting that Chase stay at the Institute even when his doctors felt they had done all they could for him. John quit going to see him after the stabbing incident, although now he goes at least once a week. I'm not sure what made John start going back, but I'm glad for the both of them that he did," Millicent said.
Luka nodded slightly, thinking of all of this in his head. It was a lot to absorb, but Luka was trying to. "It's good that he sees Chase," the older man finally said. "Family is very very important."
Dave's head turned at this. Yes...family was important. Especially if you didn't have that much family that cared to begin with. And it seemed that as different as his and John's backgrounds were, in a lot of ways they were a lot more alike than Dave originally thought they were. Maybe money *wasn't* everything?
"Yeah...yeah," Dave said, after a moment's silence. "I'm glad that John's seein' Chase now. Maybe one day, I'll get to..."
Dave's words trailed off. He was going to say that he had hoped that he would get to meet someone who was obviously such an important part of John's life, but at that point, it wasn't even a certainty that Dave himself would even be in John's life anymore.
"Yes, family is very important. I'm glad that my husband learned that before he died. He and John had been at odds for quite a long while before the stabbing. Still, we did our best to try to get John to leave that hospital, but he insisted on staying. As you've both seen, he's very stubborn when he wants to be." Millicent informed them. "And I'm sure you'll get to meet Chase. His therapist brings him out here at least once a month. He hasn't been here though since I broke my hip, but I'm sure the two of us could have wheelchair races." She grinned at Dave. "John tells me that when it's slow at work, people often play wheelchair hockey. One of you will have to teach me the game."
Dave's face broke into a grin at that. "Yeah, we used to get into Wheelchair Hockey a lot," he commented, thinking back to his days at County General. "John was pretty good at pushing himself around in one of those chairs...but usually I was able to get the best of him. Luka didn't really play, though. Heh. I remember trying to get him to play on the softball team one time...he didn't realize that he had hit a foul ball instead of a home run, but he ran around the bases anyway.. slidin' into every plate. It was actually quite funny." Dave grinned broadly over to the other doctor, who was sitting red-faced on one of the chairs on the other side of the room.
"Hey, I didn't know any better," Luka admitted with a shrug. "How was I supposed to know there was such a thing as a...what do you call it? Foul line?" But Luka was grinning slightly as well. This was *much* better than fighting.
Millicent laughed along with them. "Maybe one day you'll get a chance to redeem yourself, Luka. Now, how about that tour of the guest cottage?"
Dave quickly nodded, and then looked over to Luka. "Uh...if you want, I guess you can come along," Dave said, looking at the other man. At least, he was no longer wanting to throw Luka through a wall or anything, and by the looks of it, Luka was feeling sort of the same about Dave, but still, Luka shook his head.
"I'm sure I'll be able to tour it some other time. Why don't you go ahead, and I'll see you later," Luka said, getting up from his chair. "I think I'd like to lay down for a little while."
"Shall we awaken you for dinner?" Millicent asked Luka, thinking it would be good if he ate a decent meal, especially since he was tired.
Luka nodded. "Please," he said, as he moved towards the door. Luka was worried about John, but he knew that Mrs. Carter was right -- to push him into talking now would drive John even further away, maybe even cause a repeat of his breakdown on the cruise. And with that thought on his mind, Luka headed back to his own bedroom to try to catch some sleep.
To be continued